Unthinkable
by ohjaayox
Summary: I'm the epitome of average, I have no incredible skills and I have no amazing superpowers. I don't even belong here, so why is a cryptic wizard telling me I'm a priceless asset to some quest and why is a golden haired, Dwarven prince looking at me like that? Fili/OC Rated M for language and future chapters.
1. Welcome to Middle-Earth

_This is the story how I, the epitome of average, became famous. Not famous like film-star famous, or pop-star famous but a genuine, if somewhat unorthodox, hero. Unbeknownst to me that within a few years of my 18th birthday I would become one of the most talked about people in an entire nation; everyone would know my name and everyone would tell my story as if it was their own. I would walk down streets and people would say my name, smile at me and bow. My story was one that was told to children as a bedtime story, and the children would tell their children, and their children's children, and so forth. My story became one of the most well known fairy stories in an entire land. _

_But it wasn't a fairy story, it was all real, painfully and wonderfully real. One moment I was minding my own business, walking towards Charing Cross with my sister in tow and my holdall slung over my shoulder, happily discussing the fantastic weekend in the buzzing Capital we'd just had. It had been a wonderfully warm weekend, and that day had been especially hot, but now the sun had gone and night had fallen I was beginning to regret wearing a skirt. The next thing I knew we were being mugged. It was all a whirlwind of shouting and panicking, then the mugger pulled out a knife when I refused to hand over my belongs. I'm not really sure what happened after that, I remember him advancing towards my sister, and I remember throwing myself in front of his blow. There was screaming as my sister reached out for me, but all I could hear was the sound of police sirens in the distance and my own pulse thumping in my ears. I slowly reached down to place a hand over the spewing hole in my stomach, my clothes stained bright red, and a thin line of blood trickled out my mouth. I stumbled backwards on impact and my older sibling grabbed at me but I slipped out of her grasp and went tumbling over the side of London Bridge and into the Thames. _

I awoke with a grunt and a groan.

I felt like my head was about to explode. It hurt to even think, let along move. Slowly my sense begun to come together, my finger tips moving slowly across... Sand?

I blink my eyes open, squinting through harsh sunlight and groaning again as the bright rays burnt my eyes. Did I survive? Am I okay? Is this heaven? Bit boring if it is.

Slowly I rolled over, wincing at the aching in my stomach. I blinked up at the canopy of trees above me and frowned. I felt like I was waking up from an unfulfilling sleep, I felt groggy and disoriented, but slowly I came to my sense. Why was I on sand? Why was there trees?

I wanted to sit up at the realisation I was probably no longer in London. I wanted to get up and explore my surrounds. But I couldn't move, I couldn't find the energy to move. So I laid there blinking up at the leaves towering over me. I'd never seen leave of such an emerald green, the trees themselves looked like giants and had thick, dark trunks. I didn't recognise the species, not that I was a tree expert anyway.

A breeze knocked me from my stupor after a few minutes and I shivered. Am I wet?

My right hand slowly began to crawl across the sand and gently touched the cotton of my jumper and I groaned again, feeling the sodden material under my fingers. I sighed, and finally after a few minutes of mustering up the courage I sat up gingerly.

I was laying on the bank of a large lake, completely surrounded by unfamiliar, thick trees.

Wait... Lake?

I scrambled up, swaying and stumbling slightly before tripping over my holdall that had fallen around my legs, I toppled to the ground again in a crumple of nauseating pain. Weirdly enough, it was my legs which hurt the most, I could barely feel my stomach as it tingled numbly, but I could feel that a pile bile was beginning to creep up my throat. I didn't dwell on this though, my eyes were wide and searching for an opening in the lake. How on Earth did I end up in a lake?

Once again I didn't have time to dwell on my thought for there was a rustling behind me. Slowly I turned, half expecting a bear or a wolf to come jumping out. Thinking on my toes, I quickly rummaged around in my holdall for my deodorant and grabbed the pale pink lighter from the side pocket. I held them up, ready to set fire to anything that ventured near enough. But I didn't need to, for the rustling of leaves ceased and out of the greenery stepped an old man, brushing himself off as he did so.

I blink at him, and lowered my makeshift weaponry.

He smiled at me, "Ah, there you are my dear, I was getting worried."

I continued to blink at him, totally confused. Did I know this man? I looked him up and down, his attire consisted of a rather tatty looking, grey robe, a matching pointed hat and a peculiar looking wooden walking stick. "Pardon?" I forced the word out my mouth, my voice was hoarse from not talking for apparently a long time and I coughed a bit before continuing, "Do I know you?"

"No you do not." He answered cheerily, still giving me a small smile.

I stared at him, "Well then who are you? Where am I? Where's my sister? What's-"

He held up a hand calmly to silence me, "Relax child, you are not in any danger. My name is Gandalf, Gandalf the Grey, you are in Middle-Earth, and your sister is safe."

I gawked at him before, rather inelegantly, snorting at him.

"Yeah, okay." I huffed with an eye roll, I turned and started heading off in a different direction, adjusting my holdall over my shoulder as I did so. Silly old man, obviously not all there, thinks he's a wizard. I shook my head and sniggered lightly to myself.

I hadn't been walking through the forest long when I heard a crunching of twigs and leaves behind me. Assuming it was that crackpot wizard again I ignored it, but held my deodorant and lighter tightly, you know, just in case. It wasn't until I heard a growl that I stopped dead in my tracks and gulped. I was hoping that it was just my imagination, or even my stomach without realising. There was another low growl, nope, definitely not my stomach, or my imagination.

I slowly turned, only to wish I didn't.

"Oh shit."

Standing before me, about twenty metres away was a huge wolf, or was it a bear? Or was it a _**monster. **_Yes, the latter was the most appropriate. It was the single most horrifying creature I'd never seen, its long fangs were bared and stained a putrid yellow, a long line of green spittle oozing from between its teeth. Its back was hunched and its fur matted together. I could smell it from here.

It began to slowly advance towards me, growling steadily. I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut and wake up in bed, I wanted all this to be a dream. But it wasn't and I didn't dare move. My hands shook as I raised my deodorant. I pressed the top just as the creature made to jump forward and flicked my lighter. Instantly the spray ignited and both me and the foul beast staggered backward. I tripped over a tree root and fell with a thump on my bum, the deodorant went flying from my grasp and I stared in absolutely horror as the beast before me coward and whimpered, shaking its head from side to side. I decided to no longer stall, and took the opportunity to make a run for it while the beast howled over its burns, I grabbed my deodorant as I stumbled away.

Now, I am no runner, I can swim for miles but I can't run more than a hundred metres without dying. But this time, with a little help from sheer terror, I sprinted for what felt like hours, I was sprinting for my life. My legs burned, my lungs crippled and it felt like someone had stabbed me in the side, but I kept running. I had no idea where the hell I was going, but I stumbled around the trees nonetheless. I couldn't see very much, my usual poor eyesight was worsened by my eyes watering profusely. I couldn't think, I couldn't even contemplate how I was here or why, all I could think about was surviving this incident.

"One thing at a time…" I muttered with a sniff, reminiscing at my mother's words.

My lapse in concentration cost me my balance and I shrieked when I tripped again, doing a glorious summersault over a hidden root and tumbling head first down a steep bank.

"Bollocks!" I hissed, landing on my bum again, it was beginning to get soar and I groaned as I stood. Brushing myself off (which was rather a waste of time, I was covered head to toe in muck and mud anyway, let alone soaking wet) I looked around, trying to decipher which way to go next. Where the hell was I? How did I end up in the middle of a forest? My thoughts were pushed to the back of my mind as I decided that my priority was to get myself out of this mess, and not dwell on how I came to be in it in the first place. Safety: that was my aim.

I began walking again, a slight limp in my step from my fall. I was grumbling to myself under my breath, trying to remember anything that could be useful from watching countless episodes of Bear Grills with my ex. I was mentally slapping myself for not paying more attention. I was uncomfortable, soaking wet, pissed off, dishevelled, exhausted, famished, parched, bleeding, covered in mud and I needed a wee, could this day get any worse? Oh yes, I was in the middle of nowhere, for all I know being hunted by a monster, stalked by a loopy old man, in a place I didn't know or recognise and oh yes-

"Now it's fucking raining!" I yelled out loud, stamping my foot. I began a string of colourful curses as the heavens opened and started out on a rampage; hissing, spitting, kicking and punching anything and everything. I was now running around again, swearing at the rocks and punching the trees.

It wasn't until I had damned a bird's nest that I saw a string of smoke in the distance. I stopped instantly and inwardly prayed that was from a chimney. Please tell me my luck had turned, please, please, please!

I started off towards the smoke, slipping and sliding as I went. Seemingly I'd discovered an entire new level of completely, and utterly drenched.

I think I'm getting a rash.

As soon as a stone cabin came into view from the other side of some thinning trees I could have kissed someone, I picked up my pace and sang with joy when I saw the sign "INN" hanging over the door.

I rushed in, and to my delight no one even noticed me. It was fairly busy and the majority of the occupants were tall men, all too caught up in their own drinks and conversations to notice a mud monster wander in. I felt even smaller than usual as one crossed my path, so I puffed myself up and headed off in search for the loos. I passed several large, sturdy wooden tables, the inhabitants of said tables were all laughing and drinking merrily. I peered at them slightly when I noticed they were drinking from wooded tankards.

What is this place?

I looked around me again, it looked like a usual old pub, like a real rustic one, which is why I barely took notice as I entered, but now I had stopped to survey the situation I noticed everything and everyone looked... Medieval. The women were all in dresses with puffy sleeves and corsets around their middles. The men all wore shirts of variations of colour, dark trousers and heavy boots. It wasn't until I noticed a man at the bar with a large sword strapped to his hip that I freaked out.

I hurried away. Thankfully, I located the bathroom and dipped inside, rushing into one of the toilets. I stared in horror at the loo. It was a wooden seat with a hole in it. No flush, no cover, no nothing. I'd probably get splinters in my bum. I whimpered and reluctantly did my business.

Is this some dress up town? Like a re-enactment? If it was then the toilets were a step too far!

I grumbled as I went to wash my hands, on my way I caught sight of myself in the mirror and nearly screamed. I was covered in muck and mud, it had all matted in my hair along with leaves and twigs and smudged all over my skin. I had small cuts all over my face and hands, mixing with the mud and beginning to dry that way.

But that wasn't the worst of it. I could deal with mud, I could deal with a few cuts and bruises. But my jumper was _**ruined.**_

I know I know, priorities right? But this was an expensive jumper, I had worked long and hard for it, and it was (up until recently) beautiful and new. Well it _**was**_ anyway. Once upon a time, in a land that is apparently far, far away. It's once cream cotton fabric was now a mixture of muck and blood, it was supposed to be mildly off the shoulder, but it had ripped and now only just hung on me.

And then I noticed the thick, bright red blood in the middle of my stomach, oozing through the fabric in a far more concentrated fashion than any of the other blood on my clothing. That's when I remembered.

With shaky hands I raised the hem of my jumper, and pulled up my floral fitted vest that was beneath it.

I just stared in bewilderment. Did I dream it all? I ran a hand over the smooth skin. I could have sworn that…?

My train of thought crashed when someone entered the bathroom. I spun round and shot an awkward, forced smile at the woman how sashayed in, holding onto the walls for support as she staggered into the bathroom. Clearly pissed. I wished I was pissed.

I let out a breath that I didn't realise I was holding and washed my hands. I then scrubbed at my face and neck the best I could and as quickly as I could before scurrying out the bathroom. I'll get a room for the night here, wash up, clean myself up as best I could and then move on. To where though?

I pushed that out my head as I made my way to the bar.

"One thing at a time…" I muttered, awkwardly twitching my fingers against the wooden surface as I waited to get someone's attention.

"How can I help you, little lady?"

"Erm…" I choked up at the beefy man who now stood before me, he as well over six foot, bald and more or less completely toothless, but he smiled at me kindly, "Do you have any rooms?"

"Ey." He replied, leaning to the bar to peer down at me, "I do for a pretty little thing like you."

Okay, maybe not as kind as I thought then.

I nearly gagged. "Could I have it please? How much?"

"Five gold."

I blinked at him, "Five what?" Is that bar talk for fifty quid?

"Five gold coins." He repeated.

"Like GBP?"

"Like what sorry?" He leaned further over the bar and I stumbled back slightly.

"Don't worry, lass, I've got this. Here," An arm reached past me, draped in a familiar grey sleeve, "Two rooms please, and two meats and Ales."

The man behind the bar scowled at the man unsurely as he took the coins Gandalf gave him. He shot me a look before disappearing again.

"Keep the change." Gandalf called before smiling down at me. I simply gawked up at him.

"I suppose I have some explaining to do." He chuckled, "Shall we?" He gestured further into the Inn. I hesitated for a moment, but his voice was kind and I felt like I could trust him.

Yes, because I'm so good at judging people.

I sighed, following him to a corner and sat across from him, unblinking, and still tightly clutching my holdall as if my life depended on it. It was the only thing that was familiar in this strange place and I'll be damned if I lose it.

"Who are you?" I asked as soon as we sat down, it came out rather rudely but I didn't care right now.

"I've told you, my dear. I am Gandalf." He replied casually, and pulled out a pipe. He began to fill it with tobacco.

"What is this place?"

"Middle-Earth, just shy of The Shire." He lit his pipe.

"The-the what sorry?" I leant forwards, he had said these words before, but now the initial panic has eased just a smidge I was willing to be more reasonable. I jumped slightly when two too kegs of ale were more or less dropped on the table in front of us. I mumbled a thank you.

"The Shire, my dear girl, are you hard of hearing?"

I scoffed, "No."

The old man put down his pipe and leant forward on the table, lacing his fingers together. When he next spoke his voice was no more than a whisper and I had to strain to hear him, "You may be wondering why you are here." He assessed correctly. He watched for a response, but when I didn't give him one he continued, "You are no longer in the world you know. When you fell into the water in your world I brought you here-"

"Can you take me back?" I interrupted, rather eagerly, a small bubble of hope inflated in my stomach.

His face turned sombre, and I soon followed, "No."

The bubble popped.

"Why not?" If I was someone who cried, I would be right now.

"You were stabbed, you fell into deadly waters. Even the heartiest of warriors would not have survived that?"

"I'm… Dead?"

"No." He took a sip from his tankard, "I brought you here on the brink of it, I fixed you up as best I could, but you can never go back for then you will… die." He was so painfully brash.

I slumped in my seat, I felt drained, emotionally and physically.

"Why?" I breathed, the bridge of my nose beginning to sting.

"I need your help. There is a quest in which your skills would be priceless."

I scoffed at this, suddenly a little angry, "Skills?! I'm a graphic designer. You don't even have decent toilets here so I can't imagine you have computers!"

"You have a characteristics that would be most useful." He peered at me, his voice even lower, "Do not doubt me."

I huffed, "Cryptic much?"

"You are very brave, miss Netherwood."

"I'm not brave, I'm just stupid."

At this he chuckled and gave me a knowing look, "You have an adventurous soul, you will take this in your stride. I know you will. You are much more than you realise, your heart is in the right place, you are a valuable asset to this quest." He gave me another small smile but said no more as the food arrived.

I was so hungry, but I felt sick. I stared at the food, poked it a bit and occasionally nibbled it. It was nice enough, but food was the last thing on my mind now.

I could never go home, I would never see my sister again, or my parents, or my grandma. I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I wanted to crawl into a hole, but I didn't. I did what I always did in taxing situations, I pushed in to the back of my mind, undoubtedly to fester there, but I refused to think about it. Unfortunately I was not a physical runner but I was mentally, I never confronted my fears, no matter how huge. I just dealt them; I left them; I avoided them until another time. I was one of those people that didn't think about things, I was reckless and impulsive. I didn't think things through, I never did. Thinking was complicated. I left things until I had to deal with them, I kept myself occupied so I didn't have to. Some people said I had guts, others said I would lose my guts one day. Obviously they were right.

"One thing at a time…" I muttered, popping a potato into my mouth.

Hola! So this is the first chapter of my Fili story, I hope you like! Review, favourite and follow, I love to hear your views. Much love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	2. Equinophobia

I didn't do much sleeping that night. My room had a bath tub in it, so I spend a few hours in that, topping up the hot water whenever the temperature began to drop. Usually in the bath I would contemplate the meaning of life or whatnot, but this time I made sure I did no thinking. I stared blankly at the tap end, watching it as it dripped slowly. I was in a state of shock, my brain had completely and utterly pickled under the strain.

My evening had been spent listening to Gandalf waffle away about all the quirks of this so called 'Middle-Earth', most of it going straight over my head. He'd informed me that the monster I had encountered in the forest was called a 'Warg' and that apparently there were many of them.

Bloody fantastic.

I had asked him how he knew who I was, how he knew my name, and he simply replied, 'I've known you for many years, my dear." And that was it. When I asked how he just smiled, when I asked why he chose me he just chuckled. Seriously.

After finally leaving the safety of my bath I wrapped myself in a towel and began to sift through my holdall. I had everything in there, from my tooth brush to my knickers, from my hair brush to my makeup. Thankfully, the water hadn't penetrated my wash bag, which means my tooth brush and makeup were perfectly dry (my priorities again there).

I fiddled absentmindedly with my tongue piercing as I began my work. I sorted out all my wet (slightly smelly clothes) and ran a new bath, I then poured a little of my shampoo into the water to add a nice smell and a little cleanliness before depositing all of my clothes into the tub. I stirred them around a bit, scrubbing when necessary in an attempt to clean the garments a bit. I then emptied the bath and rang the clothes out a bit before hanging them around the room to dry in direction of the fire. I then sat on the bed, still in my towel and stared into the flames.

At some point I must have fallen asleep for one moment I was watching the flames then the next I was awoken to a loud banging on my door.

I jumped up, grabbing at my towel before it slipped off me.

"Hello?" I called, my eyes blinking at my surroundings. It wasn't all a dream, it was all real. The fire had gone out at some point during the night and had left the room drafty and cold. I could tell already that I would spend more the day in an awful mood, the night before I'd told myself I'd wake up in my bed and this would have all been a dream. I was completely gutted.

"Good morning! Are you ready to leave yet?"

It was Gandalf and I groaned, sinking back down onto the bed, head in my hands.

"Yeah, give me two minutes…" I replied reluctantly, running a hand through my blonde hair, it had dried now, but was a completely mess of curls from sleeping awkwardly and not brushing it.

"No worries!" Came the painfully happy reply.

I sighed again and finally stood, grabbing some knickers and a bra, before pulling some baggy, loose navy blue track suit bottoms from their position on the curtain rail where I'd hung them the night before. Gandalf had informed me last night that my attire wasn't exactly _appropriate _here and that I should choose something different for the following day, especially as we were travelling to this place called 'The Shire'.

I stomped around the room, gathering my now dry belongings and shoving them back into my holdall. I also put on a baby pink vest top and a bright red hoodie that had 'Life Guard' printed across the back in white, bold print. Stylish I know, but I wasn't in the mood to make an effort. These clothes were dry and comfortable, so anyone who judges could do one for all I cared.

I then headed to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. My teeth were my pride and joy, I got so anal about them, and just because I was in another world wasn't going to change that. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and frowned at the girl who was looking back at me. My usual rosy cheeks were pale and my pink lips were sickly white. My once muddy green eyes bore a hue of red and dark bags hung beneath them. My honey blonde hair was dishevelled chaos, so I pulled it up into a messy ponytail and washed my face to wake me up. With a sigh and one last check to make sure I'd remembered everything I left the room, pulling on my ruined Vans as I went. I found Gandalf waiting for me outside my room, his sudden appearance made me jump.

"Ready?" He asked cheerily, giving me a small smile.

"No." I responded rather sulkily, but followed the old man out anyway. I had grown to trust him, he had helped me out and if his story was true, then I owed him my life.

"I suppose we ought to get you a pony." The wizard smiled down at me and handed me what looked like a piece of toast.

"A what sorry?" I snapped around a mouthful of the bread and he chuckled.

"A pony my dear, I trust you know what they are."

"Of course I know what a pony is," I huffed, readjusting my holdall as we stepped out the Inn. The brisk morning air hit me like a smack in the face.

"Do you know how to ride one?"

"Yes." I replied, then paused, "Or at least I think so. I did lessons when I was little…"

"I'm sure you'll be fine then." He reassured me, patting my back slightly as I followed him down a path, leading me away from the Inn, "There is a small village not too far from here, we can get you one there."

I openly cringed at the thought of a horse. I **hated **horses, ponies, whatever. Actually no, hate is a strong word, I absolutely _**loathed **_them. I was undeniably, catastrophically terrified of them. I had a thing about teeth, horrible teeth freaked me right out and horses had _**nasty **_teeth.

I'm pretty sure I'm having a panic attack. Oh my God I'm going to die all over again. This is horrible, why does it keep bucking its head?! Why is it moving like that? Oh my God it keeps looking at me! It's teeth, oh my- its teeth!

"Are you going to name her?" Gandalf suggested, he could clearly sense my discomfort from bobbing along on his horse next to me. It was painfully written all over my face.

"What?" I wasn't really listening to him, I was too preoccupied with trying not to have a nervous breakdown.

"Your pony, my dear, you must give her a name."

I knew he was trying to ease my anxiety, not that it was really working.

"Erm…" Demon? Devil? Shit head? "Mutton?"

Gandalf laughed, obviously thinking I was joking, he then looked at me expectantly, waiting for a genuine answer. I sighed.

"I don't know, Jeremy?"

"That's a boy's name, you can't call her that." He chuckled and I groaned inwardly. I didn't really want to name it.

I thought for a moment, glancing down at the chocolate brown pony plodding along beneath me, "Aero." God I would kill for an Aero bar right now.

Gandalf chuckled, "well that's a bit better."

There was a few minutes of silence. We'd been riding all day and my bum was painfully sore and my stomach was beginning to rumble.

"How much further?" I asked, eyeing the sun in the sky, it was beginning to sink.

"Not much," The wizard replied, "Another hour at the most. I will be leaving you with our host for a bit, but I will return later in the evening. He is a nice little fellow, I think you'll get along with him splendidly. His name is Bilbo, and he is a Hobbit."

"A what, sorry?" I was only half listening as per usual, most of my attention was being taken by our surroundings which consisted of hill after hill of emerald green grass. Littered here and there were clusters of brightly coloured flowers, bumblebees and butterflies hovered between them happily. The air was a pleasantly warm now, even with the dimming light, and it smelt sweetly of flowers and vanilla. It was truly beautiful here.

"A hobbit, a Halfling," The wizard began, removing his pipe from his waist band and filling it with tobacco. I was rather impressed how he did this even when riding a horse, I on the other hand was holding onto the reins for dear life, removing even a finger was out of the question. "He is a little folk, living within the ground with large feet and curly hair."

I snorted, "Sounds cute." I took most of his words with a pinch of salt.

Gandalf just chuckled and I zoned out, too engrossed in the view.

The Shire was beautiful. The sun had set now and even in the low light of random windows and the sprinkling of lanterns I could tell how wonderful this place was. It was so peaceful and quiet, and smelt just delightful, the floral scent was now mixed with the hearty smell of dinner. And if I wasn't hungry enough before, boy oh boy was I hungry now.

Gandalf chuckled when my stomach rumbled loudly, "We are almost there."

Thank fuck for that, the sooner I get off this bloody horse the better.

Soon enough the Wizard pulled his horse to a stop and I quickly followed, the sudden lack of movement made me realise actually how sore my bum was.

"Tie your pony to the tree over there with the others, she'll be safe for the night. Bilbo Baggins lives here." Gandalf pointed to a low apple tree were two other ponies stood trying to reach the apples and then to a round, green door. I nodded and turned to say goodbye but he was already gone. I blinked at the empty spot where he once sat.

"Maybe he is actually a Wizard…" I muttered before clumsily dismounting and pulling the stubborn pony over to the tree. I adjusted my holdall, and stretched, my back, bum and stomach aching.

Gingerly I wandered over to the door and knocked twice.

I jumped when the door swung violently open, a rather dishevelled little person peaked round the side, almost nervously.

I grinned at him. He was genuinely adorable. He as smaller than me by nearly a foot (I stood at an **average **5'4" thank you very much) and his hair was just precious, sitting in neat curls upon his head.

On sight of me he came out behind the door and my eyes instantly dropped to his feet. They were indeed huge and my eyes popped at the sight.

"Yes?" He asked rather briskly.

My eyes snapped up and my grin widened, my mood had significantly improved since entering The Shire and this little fella was too cute to be moody with, plus he was supposedly my host, and I did have _some_ manners. It may have also had something to do with the fact that this was the beautiful place, and the lack of Wargs and mud made it even better.

"Hi!" I stuck out my hand to him, "I'm Olivia, are you Mister Baggins?"

He smiled slightly at me, he seemed rather relieved about something, "Yes, yes I am." He took my hand and shook it vigorously, "Can I help you?" Although relieved, he also look sceptical.

"Erm, I'm a friend of Gandalf's," I blinked at him, not really knowing what to say. I didn't want to simply invite myself in. I was about to open my mouth to say more but the Hobbit sighed.

"I thought this might have something to do with that Wizard." He muttered and slowly stepped aside, his head hanging in defeat, "Come in."

What might have something to do with Gandalf?

I smiled softly at him, almost apologetically before entering his home. And in that split second Bilbo got even cuter. His home was just wonderful, it was so warm and homely, and everything was round.

"This is beautiful!" I exclaimed, staring in awe at an intricately designed wooden chair, "Your home is beautiful."

Apparently then and there I struck a chord with the Hobbit for his face softened and he smiled warmly, puffing out his chest proudly, "Well thank you, Miss Olivia."

I grinned at him again and opened my mouth to ask about one of his peculiar looking pictures when I heard voices from down the hall. There were two voices, both deep and rumbling and they seemed to be in deep conversation. More Hobbits? I suppose that would explain the extra ponies.

I shot Bilbo a questioning glance, he was no longer looking at me but down towards where the voices were coming from, a rather exasperated look on his face.

"Wait, wait, put that down!" Bilbo shouted and quickly headed off down the hall.

I gingerly followed him, peering around the round door frame and into what seemed to be the kitchen. My eyebrows shot into my hairline at the two people who stood before me and Bilbo. One was a great deal shorter than I was, and he had a long, forked white beard and a large hooked nose. The other was maybe just about my height, but built like a brick wall and had tattoos on his head and had a dishevelled looking beard. Both men were dressed just as curiously as all the other people in this world; the white haired one bore deep red robes, beautifully embellished and embroidered so handsomely. However, the bigger one looked a great deal more terrifying than the former for he was covered in weapons, metals and furs. I gulped at his ferocious looking brass knuckles he sported, eyeing up the spikes that ran along them.

"Master Bilbo, I didn't know you'd taken a wife?" The white one smiled from under his beard, taking a step forward and continuing, "Balin, at your service." He bowed deeply, the end of his beard sweeping the floor.

Bilbo and I exchanged a look of alarm and both began spluttering, both of us denying fully that this definitely was not the case.

"We're not, actually I've just met him!" I forced a laugh, "I'm Olivia Netherwood, a friend of Gandalfs." I gave an awkward bow in return.

"A friend of Gandalfs, ey?" The scary looking one stepped forward, "Dwalin, at your service."

"Hello, nice to meet you," I gave a small, awkward wave, "Yes, a friend, I guess…"

"And I suppose he plans to bring you with us on our quest?" Balin peered at me, advancing closer still.

"Yes, I suppose, I think…"

Both men exchanged a rather doubtful look.

"What?" I asked, taking a step further into the room, I didn't like to be scrutinised or judged.

"This quest has no place for a woman, especially," Balin paused, trying find the right words, "such an exotic looking one. Where is that you are from?"

I snorted with laugher and crossed my arms, "No place for a woman?" I snickered. Okay, I am no feminist, if anything I'm anti it. I don't believe men and women are the same, we are equal but in different ways. I do believe the average man is stronger physically than the average woman, but the average woman is mentally stronger than the average man. I think the two sexes are different, but in a good way.

But this was just rude.

"These lands are dangerous—"

Dwalin began, but I cut him off abruptly, "Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I'm incapable. In fact I may bring certain skills to this quest that you, as males, can't." I stared them down, standing as tall as I could. The males exchanged another look before stepping towards me, I didn't so much as even flinch, and instead I folded my arms across my chest. My stupidity obviously getting the better of me. Okay, so I may be bluffing, I'm totally incapable of anything when it comes to this world, but they didn't need to know that. I'm far too proud to let them know that.

I was still glowering at them when suddenly their blank faces lifted and they chuckled. Before I knew what was happening both of males reached up and gave me a hard thud on the back. I stumbled forward slightly, a little taken aback.

"Welcome aboard, lass." Dwalin grinned.

"You sure have some guts." Balin added, smiling up at me.

I grinned, but then it fell, "Wait, what—"

I was cut off by another set of loud knocks on the door. I turned to Bilbo who looked like he was about to have a hernia and nearly sniggered at the look on his face as he left.

"Come, give us a hand, girl." I turned back round to find the men gone, and looked around for them. I spotted them by the pantry, helping themselves to Bilbo's food.

I made my way over to them, "Should we be doing this?" I asked, having no self-control and popping a grape into my mouth. Hypocrite.

The men looked at each other and shrugged, "Sure."

I shrugged also and began sifting through the food myself. If I wasn't so damn hungry I would control myself. I'd just picked up a chocolate bun when I heard another voice from down the hall. It was just as deep as Balin and Dwalin's but far more velvety.

"Careful with these. I just had them sharpened."

Hello my lovelies! Thank you so much to everyone who's reviewed, followed and favourited. It means so much! I love to hear your thoughts on this story, so keep 'em coming! I'll be posting another chapter tonight too! So as you can see Fili will be in the next one, so stay tuned! Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	3. Think Furnace With Wings

I wasn't paying attention to the new footsteps moving around outside the kitchen. This chocolate bun tastes so good, too good to pay attention to anything else, this bun deserved my full, undying devotion.

"Life… Guard…" A voice behind me said slowly. I turned on my heel, my cheeks full of chocolatey goodness.

"Hi!" I exclaimed, quickly swallowing my mouthful and blushing at the shaggy haired brunette standing before me, he looked only a little older than I. And damn was he cute, I just wanted to go over and grab his cheeks. He stood there watching me, eyes filled with excitement and a goofy smile on his lips, "I'm Olivia, nice to meet you!" I stuck out a hand and he quickly took it and shook it vigorously.

"Kili, at your service!" He bowed deeply. I took another bite of my bun. "I didn't know Master Boggins had a wife."

I nearly choked on the dessert, "No!" I spluttered, "Why do people keep thinking this?"

Kili looked confused, "Why're you here then?"

Charming.

"I'm coming on this quest." I finished off the bun.

Kili hooted with laughter, "Really? Brilliant! I can't believe Thorin would have let a woman join us?"

"What? Who?"

"Thorin." Kili gave me a questioning look, "Thorin Oakenshield, King of Erebor." He puffed out his chest proudly, a dreamy look gracing his eyes, "Or at least he will be." Just as he said this someone walked behind him, someone I hadn't met yet. I saw they were blonde, but I didn't have my glasses on so I couldn't see fuck all else. They were in my bag that I'd left somewhere in the hall. I didn't dwell on them however, because they moved out my vision and into another room.

"Sorry I don't know who that is. Hey, can you take this?" I pushed a plate of ham into Kili's hands. He gaped at me like a fish out of water. I gave him an expecting look, "Yip, yip!" I shooed him away. I was hungry, and I was tired of the small talk.

God, I need a wee.

I left the pantry and went in search of Bilbo.

"Excuse me," I lightly tapped him on the shoulder, making him jump and tearing him away from staring in horror at the males rearranging his home and emptying his food storage.

He looked at me with wide eyes.

"Where's your bathroom?"

"Oh! Erm, just there, Miss Olivia." He pointed around me to an adjacent door.

"Just call me Olivia." I grinned at him and turned to follow his directions. Just as I did however, I bumped into someone. "Oops, sorry!" I laughed, dodging the person. I glanced at the person, meeting a pair of pale, crystal blue eyes.

It was the blonde male I'd seen earlier and I blinked at him, taking in his features; thin lips and a slightly large nose, and—

"I like this." Without even thinking (as per) I reached up and flicked his braided moustache. I gave him a smile before waltzing off.

As soon as I entered the bathroom I realised my actions.

"Shit!" I hissed, slapping my palm to my forehead. Mentally slapping myself over and over. That guy was actually quite hot and I just flicked his tash! Ugh! How embarrassing!

"Fuck sake." I muttered, doing my business and quickly freshening up. I left the bathroom just in time for there to be another loud knock on the door.

"There's no body home!" Bilbo came stomping past me, "Go away! I have far too many Dwarves in my dining room as it is!"

Dwarves?!

Bilbo opened the door, no doubt to tell the 'Dwarves' to go away again. I knew they weren't Hobbits!

Bilbo jumped back when a load of Dwarves came tumbling through the door, landing just shy of the Hobbits feet. Gandalf stood behind them, looking far too please with himself. I crossed my arms and raised my brow, totally unaware of the presence next to me. I was far too occupied with eyeing up and taking in the sight of the pile of Dwaves in front of me.

"I do not believe we have officially met."

I jumped at the familiar deep, velvety voice. I turned and blinked at the _**Dwarf **_next to me. It was the blonde one again, and I found myself blushing in embarrassment. He was about my height, maybe an inch shorter, but he stood broad and muscular, so he looked bigger, and I couldn't help but feel like the dwarf.

"I am Fili, son of Dis, of the Blue Mountains." He had a small smile on his lips as he spoke and he bowed low, an air of importance surrounding him.

"I'm Olivia!" I grinned, sticking out my hand for him to shake. I nearly broke into a fit of giggles when he took my hand and kissed the top of it. I flushed bright red instead, not that it was much better.

"That's a beautiful name," He spoke, inclining his head towards me, "I've never heard it before, what does it mean?"

I bit the inside of my cheek, "Erm, it means olive tree."

Fili quirked his eyebrow at me, smirking slightly. "How interesting."

How polite

I shrugged, I was beginning to grow hot. He stood rather close to me, his gaze somewhat intense. He looked a little older than me, and he seemed mature too. And my God was he handsome. Even with the funny moustache. There was something about him, he seemed to hold his own, he seemed proper, strong and… regal?

"My brother tells me you're joining us on this quest?"

I opened my mouth to reply but a hand suddenly appeared on my shoulder, and I looked up to see Gandalf smiling down at me.

"Indeed she is, for care." The wizard replied for me. "Now come, I think supper is ready."

I didn't need to be told twice and with an awkward smile in Fili's direction I fled to the dining room, where a large congregation of Dwarves settled. I was glad to be away from the blonde Dwarf, I felt hot and bothered in his presence. God was he hot, and no doubt I would embarrass myself further if I was with him any longer.

"You must be Olivia!" I large hand smacked me on the back, making me jump and bringing me back to my senses.

I squeaked, spinning to come face to face with a beaming Dwarf with a funny hat, "Yes, hello!"

"I'm Bofur, and this is my brother Bombur, and my cousin Bifur." He pointed to a rather large ginger Dwarf whose beard oddly reminded me of a pastry or a donut or something, ironic eh? My eyes then travelled to his cousin when he pointed and I yelped and stumbled back, bumping into something hard. I didn't even look round to see who it was, or apologise, I just stared in alarm at Bifur.

"Are you alright?" I voice said by my ear, my skin tingled slightly, and a large hand gently rested on the small of my back for support.

"Is he?" I hissed, nodding towards Bifur, who was happily stuffing eggs into his mouth.

I heard the voice chuckle and I finally turned, instantly taking a step back at the sight of Fili, his hand dropped from my back. I think my face is on fire.

"He's fine, it's safer to leave it in there than take it out, although he can only talk Khuzdul now." He obviously knew I was freaking out about the fucking axe lodged in his skull.

"What sorry?"

"Khuzdul, the Dwarven language." He peered at me slightly, "Where was it you said you were from?" He asked, pulling out a chair for me and indicating for me to sit.

Hesitantly I did, shooting Gandalf a pleading look for help and/or answers. But he just leant in the corner of the room, slightly stooped because of the low ceiling and puffing away on his pipe. He was watching me with curiosity and amusement.

"I'm not from around here," I admitted. Blushing bright red when Fili pushed my chair in for me. Oh God. "Really quite far away actually, feels like a world away…"

Oh the irony.

"And what is Lifeguard?" He asked, sending me questioning glances between piling his plate with food.

"Oh, that's my job, well one of them. I'm only a Lifeguard on weekends."

Fili looked confused so I elaborated, "When people go swimming I keep watch to make sure they don't get into any difficulties, or drown or anything." I began filling my own plate up. I love sausages!

"Like a guardian, protector?"

I refused to look at him, but out of the corner of my eye I could see his attention was solely on me. His body was twisted in my direction and his eyes wouldn't leave me.

Oh Christ. Why is it so hot in here?

"Erm, it's not quite as elaborate as that." I laughed a little, mainly out of unease.

"Have you ever saved anyone's life?" That wasn't Fili who spoke, but instead another Dwarf from across the table. He looked about my age and had a rather incredible bowl cut.

"Ori, don't butt in!" A star haired Dwarf hissed from besides him.

"No it's okay." I grinned at them, "I can't really say, I've had a few children get into trouble in the water and I've had to dive in and help them, but I couldn't say if I saved them or not." I popped a tomato into my mouth.

"And your sister?" Gandalf interjected. At this, the table had fallen completely silent, everyone straining to hear what I said. Obviously all wanting to know if this strange girl who was just butting in on their quest was actually worth something, wondering if I would actually be useful.

I had to force the tomato down and I cleared my throat, suddenly feeling sick and losing my appetite.

"What about her?" I asked quietly, my heart aching and my eyes staring down at my hands. I saw Fili's hand twitch on the bench beside me out the corner of my eye.

"You certainly saved her life." Gandalf continued, "You took a deadly blow for her."

My jaw clenched as a wave of loud whispers flowed down the table.

"Is that true?" Bombur asked, and I heard Bifur grunt.

I fidgeted awkwardly and cleared my throat. I didn't know how to respond, I didn't actually want to as I might run the risk of them asking more questions. So instead I shook it off and I sat up straight, putting my defences up. I grinned at them all and picked up a plate of bread, "Bread anyone?"

I sat outside Bilbo's home on a wooden bench. Within the hole I could hear singing and laughing as the evening commenced. I on the other hand, was in no mood to join the merriment. After the mention of my sister I had put on a fake smile and joined in with their festivities. I seemed to get along well with them all, and they joined me in with their conversations and stories, but whenever families or homes were mentioned I made sure I didn't participate. It was beginning to hurt now, despite only being a day. At first my emotions were easy to bury, but only because I was in denial, but now… Now it's growing ever more real. This is real. As tension built inside me I found it harder to smile. But I kept going.

I heard the door open, letting out a flood of light and a boom of laughter,

"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"

The door shut again, turning the shouts into muffled voices.

Gandalf came and sat next to me, once again pulling out his pipe.

"Why did you choose me?" I asked, my voice raspy.

Gandalf took a long while to reply and when he did he was as cryptic as ever, "All in due time, my dear. I have told you, you have characteristics which will be a priceless asset. Your bravery, your loyalty to those you love," He paused again, taking a long puff of his pipe, "I have seen your life, Olivia, I have seen what you have seen, you're stronger than you think- emotionally. Your strength will be greatly beneficial to these Dwarves. I have seen the battles you have endured and yet you still come out smiling. The hardships you've been burdened with and yet you still help others before yourself. The love you have lost and yet you can still pour your all into others. You will give them strength."

I didn't respond for a moment and when I did my voice was shaking, although I wasn't going to cry. I knew when to shed a tear, and now was not the time. "There are people stronger than I am. I am nothing special."

"But my dear, you are. You lost everything, but you still smile."

"I just don't think." I responded bluntly.

"A gift many of us would love to harbour."

I looked up at him at that, he was giving me a soft smile. I didn't reply, only sighed.

There were a few minutes of blissful silence before Gandalf spoke again.

"Come, we ought to head in."

"I think I might go for a walk." I stood, "Just a quick one."

Gandalf gave me a slight nod, "Don't be too long."

I nodded and headed down towards Bilbo's gate.

I think it was finally time to think. In fact, I actually wanted to scream. I felt physically sick. I was never going to go home. A part of me bitterly wished Gandalf had just left me die there, I would have saved my sister and that's all that matters. But now I'm here in a land I know nothing off and instantly expected to pick myself up and help complete strangers on a quest I know nothing about. I was expected to just move on from my old life, forget my family, forget my friends, my job; my entire life. Instead of being at peace with the world I was here suffering. Helping strangers to what expense? My own sanity?

I still couldn't get my head around why I was here, what was it that Gandalf was so desperate for me to keep going for?

I ran my fingers through my ponytail and fiddled with my tongue bar absentmindedly, wrapping my arms around myself when a chilly breeze blew.

Whether I was dead or alive I was here. Whether I liked it or not my old life was out the window, so no matter how much a mourned and sulked there was nothing I or anyone else could do about it. So I may as well smile and just get on with it, get on with helping the others.

But then what?

What happens when I finish this quest, what happens then? Gandalf told me that I wasn't dead so it wasn't like I could finally go to a 'better place'. Did that mean I was stuck here forever? Alone, homeless and wandering until the day I died?

Fuck sake.

This is just one big mess.

I kicked a dandelion, the seeds scattered everywhere, including all over my shoe.

I continued to walk, musing and completely losing track of time. Eventually I stopped thinking again, my thought process just seeping away, too fatigued to carry on. I found a sudden interest in my jewellery, a bitter sweet reminder of home. It was like evidence that I wasn't in some messed up dream. I thumbed the silver necklace around my neck. It was hidden beneath my hoodie, and when I pulled it out it twinkled in the low lights of the Hobbits homes. It was a simple design, with just a single bead on it. The bead itself was silver, and incrusted with hundreds of tiny Amethysts, as I was born in February. It was a gift from my Grandmother on my eighteenth birthday, and I suppose now my only evidence of her. On my wrist I wore a silver DNKY watch which I had brought with my first ever pay check, to my surprise it seemed to still work, although the time was clearly wrong as it read 3:14. Unless it was said time in the morning, but I doubted it. I also had a silver charm bracelet that my mum had given me for my fifth teeth birthday, over the years I had filled it with mostly silver charms, there was however a few silver charms with golden detailing, and one full gold one, which had cost me an arm and a leg. The charms were a variety of shapes, creatures, symbols, places and so on, but they all meant something to me.

I also wore six rings; one was silver with small pearl embedded into it; another was silver and copper twirled together; another was a plain silver band; another was a ring of tiny silver flowers with a dot of gold for the centre of each flower; another was one my sister brought me, it was silver band made up of lots of tiny little hearts; and the last was my mums old engagement ring, when she divorced my dad she had no use for it so she gave it to me. It was gold and along the top was a layer of lots of tiny crystals. It was beautiful, and my favourite. I suppose a ghostly reminder that my family once loved each other, a reminded of a time before the violence, abuse and hatred.

I rubbed my head as I made my way back to Bilbo's green door. I was about to knock when I noticed it wasn't properly closed. So instead of wasting time I just let myself I quietly. When I entered I was surprised to find it so quiet, a complete polar to earlier at dinner where the Dwarves were loud and ruckus. I had actually enjoyed dinner, I had a long conversation with a fella called Dori about tea, and he'd promised me a taste of a handful of wonderful flavours that I didn't even know existed. I had also spoken to Bombur, and we instantly hit it off, food being a shared passion between us. I had told him all about pizza and he nearly dribbled at the idea, and before I knew it I was promising to cook him full meals from my world, and he the same in return.

I quietly made my way to dining room, following an unfamiliar, rumbling deep voice. I stood in the door way listening on. The Dwarf that was talking sat at the head of the table, the air around him vibrated with his baritone voice and dripped with importance. I could see Bilbo standing in the next room, reading a piece of parchment nearly as big as him.

And then I caught a word that nearly gave me a heart attack, and the way the Dwarf said it so casually I nearly missed it.

"Dragon?!" I choked on thin air. Everyone turned to me as I stormed up to Gandalf, "You never told me about a dragon?" I wasn't sure if I was excited or horrified, I didn't know which one I should be. "What sort of dragon?"

"Is this the girl you were talking about?" The main Dwarf stood up, he seemed so big and immense, even though he barely matched my height.

"Yes it is." Gandalf replied, ignoring my question.

"And you didn't even tell her what this quest entailed?" The raven haired Dwarf seemed marginally amused.

"No he didn't! Is it a good dragon or a bad one?"

"Good one?!" Bofur laughed and stood, coming towards me and resting a large hand on my shoulder, "There is no such thing."  
"So… A bad one then?" So… No Spyro then?

"Give her a contract." Balin sighed, and without another word a long piece of parchment was thrust into my hands. I squinted in the dark light of the room to read it. I quickly gave up and squeezed around multiple chairs and into the next room to stand with Bilbo, who was still reading his one, unsurprisingly, however he was a lot further on than I was.

"It's just the usual; summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, and so forth."

I gave him a wide eyed, horror filled look, "Funeral arrangements?"

Balin simple nodded at me, as if it was nothing.

"Up to but not exceeding one fifteenth of total profit, if any. Seems fair." Bilbo began, nodding in reasonable agreement.

"Present company shall not be liable for injuries including but not limited to… Laceration, evisceration… Incineration?!" I looked up from my own contract in panic, I had caught side of the words as I was unfolding the paper, apparently Bilbo hadn't got that for we shared a look before trying to find comfort in the faces of the company.

"Oh aye!" Bofur stepped forward again, sounding far too cheery, "He'll melt the flesh straight off your bones in the blink of an eye!"

"Oh fantastic." I muttered, peering down at my own contract, completely unaware of the hyperventilating Hobbit beside me.

"You all right, laddie?" Balin asked, frowning in concern at Bilbo.

"Yeah, I will be. Feel a bit faint." Bilbo breathed, rubbing his brow.

I felt physically sick. But nevertheless I frowned in concern for the Hobbit and went to stand beside him and wrapped an arm around him for comfort. He seemed to be grateful, for I instantly felt his weight shift as he used me for support.

"Think furnace with wings!" Bofur continued, creeping closer still.

"Yeah, I… I need air." Bilbo began to fan himself, and I was about to take him away when Bofur continued still:

"Flash of light, searing pain, then poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash!"

"Nope!" Bilbo squeak before his legs gave way.

I yelped and staggered backwards, suddenly burdened with an unconscious Hobbit loosely hanging in my arms, merely inches from the floor.

"Oh very helpful, Bofur." Gandalf riled.

"A little help!" I wheezed, glancing towards the table. Instantly Fili stood up and made his way over.

Okay, so I worked out Fili, Kili and Thorin's height by reading something on the internet (I think it was LOTRwiki or something) that the average height for a Dwarf was something between 4 to 5 foot, and as the Longbeards are famed for being slightly taller than the average Dwarf, and then the line of Durin taller still, I put Thorin and Fili at about 5'3" and Kili at 5'4".

I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please review, I love hearing what you all have to say! Constructive criticism is most welcome. And favouriting and following makes me happy!

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Love you all! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	4. Misty Mountains Cold

Despite being freakishly small Bilbo was not like that in weight. Although Fili didn't seem to have any problem at all carrying his half of the Hobbit. I averted my eyes as best I could, pretending not to notice the muscle in his arms grow as he lifted Bilbo.

We set him down in a plush arm chair in what looked like a study. Instantly I crouched down in front of him, panting a little from the exercise and trying my best to politely ignore Fili who still hovered to my left.

"You okay, sugar?" I cooed, giving Bilbo a gentle shake, "Do you want a cup of tea?" Or a shot of Vodka? I could definitely do with one of those if you're offering. Although something told me that Bilbo wasn't the Vodka drinking type.

Bilbo slowly opened his eyes, blinking them open, "That would be lovely." Came a rather sleepy reply. All I wanted to do was mother him.

"I'll get it," Fili offered and I smiled up at him, in return he gave me a rather stiff nod and left the room.

I patted Bilbo on the shoulder lightly before sighing and taking a set in front of him, resting my chin on his knee. I was a very hands on person; I was one of those people who did a lot of physical interaction like holding hands, hugging, kissing on cheeks and so on, it was a comfort thing. I was always very affectionate towards people, although I had been told once or twice that I won't let people do it back, I'd been told by my sister once when we were in the middle of an argument that I never let people in, that I was constantly aloof and distant towards people and that she could 'see through the illusion of kindness' and that 'I used it as a defence so people wouldn't focus on me because they were too caught up in the attention I gave them'. Personally I didn't see the problem with trying to make people feel better, and if it meant their attention was away from me then it's a win win situation.

"Are you going to come with us?" I asked the Hobbit after a long silence, my chin still resting on his knee. His eyes were closed again, but I knew he was awake by the stressed look upon his face.

At that moment, Fili returned and Bilbo opened his eyes and gratefully took the tea. He had a sip before replying, "I don't know."

"Come on it'll be fun!" I urged him, bouncing onto my knees and forcing a grin at him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Fili leave.

"Will it though? It's a dangerous place out there. No place for a Hobbit who doesn't even know how to fight." He vented, flailing his free arm around in emphasis.

"I don't know how to fight either," I whispered loudly, "We can do this together!"

"You have more experience that I, I can assure you." Bilbo scoffed lightly before taking another sip of his tea, "I heard Gandalf when he mentioned what you did for your sister. I've never done a brave thing such as that, I don't know if I could."

My face fell flat, "Bilbo, it wasn't bravery that made me step out in front of that blade. It was stupidity."

"You saved your sister, how is that stupid?"

I choked on my words, prickling a little in defence and feeling uneasy that the conversation had backfired onto me. I briskly ignored his questioned and hid my discomfort.

"This is an adventure of a lifetime." I told him, my voice low and filled with fictitious excitement. I knew I was trying to persuade myself as well as the Halfling.

Bilbo went to reply but was cut off my Gandalf entering the room.

"I think I can take it from here, Miss Netherwood." He told me pointedly, sensing that I may be doing more harm than good.

I sighed and stood, giving Bilbo a sad smile before obeying. I shut the door behind me and rubbed my throbbing temples.

"Fucking hell." I hissed, but no sooner had the words left my lips that I heard a low rumbling hum come floating down the halfway.

_Far over the misty mountains cold  
To dungeons deep, and caverns old  
We must away ere break of day  
To seek the pale enchanted gold._

Slowly I made my way down the hallway, completely enchanted by the music. I followed the sound into the main room to find the Dwarves there, all together and seemingly too wrapped up in their song to notice me.

_The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,  
While hammers fell like ringing bells  
In places deep, where dark things sleep,  
In hollow halls beneath the fells.  
_

I couldn't help but feel as though I was overseeing an intermit moment for the Dwarves, their song was so heart felt, so full of hurt and emotion that I wasn't aware they possessed.

_For ancient king and elvish lord,  
There many a gleaming golden hoard  
They shaped and wrought, and light they caught  
To hide in gems on hilt of sword.  
_

I followed each one of the Dwarves faces, they all seemed to be engrossed in their own words, especially Thorin who was staring intently into the fire, a completely blank look on his face but a small longing in his eyes.

_On silver necklaces they strung  
The __flowering stars, on crowns they hung  
The dragon-fire, in twisted wire  
They meshed the light of moon__ and sun._

This definitely was a sentimental song, each word oozed with remorse and yearning.

My gaze kept travelling.__

Far over the misty mountains cold  
To dungeons deep and caverns old  
We must away, ere break of day,  
To claim our long-forgotten gold.  


My gaze landed on Kili, who had a hard look on his face as he stared intently into the back of Thorin's head, his mouth moving to every word. He no longer looked like the cute little puppy dog I'd seen in the pantry, but harder and more stern.

_Goblets they carved there for themselves  
And harps of gold; where no man delves  
There lay they long, and many a song  
Was sung unheard by men or elves.  
_

My eyes landed on Fili. I also jumped in surprise to find him staring back at me, his lips moving to every word and a pipe just hovering before his lips. My eyes locked with his, and I saw his straighten up.

_The pines were roaring on the height,  
The winds were moaning in the night.  
The fire was red, it flaming spread;  
The trees like torches blazed with light._

He stopped leaning against the wall and turned to me, lowering his pipe and not breaking eye contact. He still sung and I almost felt frightened by the intense look on his face. He too was expressionless, but his eyes seemed somewhat empty as he kept singing.__

The bells were ringing in the dale  
And men looked up with faces pale;  
Then dragon's ire more fierce than fire  
Laid low their towers and houses frail.  


I didn't move from my position by the door frame, and Fili didn't break my gaze. He too looked much sterner now then he had done before. The playful spark in his eyes had extinguished and been replaced by a sadness, a pining.

_The mountain smoked beneath the moon;  
The dwarves, they heard the tramp of doom.  
They fled their hall to dying fall  
Beneath his feet, beneath the moon.  
_

The look in his eyes made me want to go over and hug him, but I didn't dare move.

_Far over the misty mountains grim  
To dungeons deep and caverns dim  
We must away, ere break of day,  
To win our harps and gold from him!_

The song finished and I quickly broke eye contact with the blonde, I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding and suddenly found my feet wonderfully interesting.

I inwardly groaned when a thick pair of boots appeared adjacent to my own white trainers. My feet looked half the size of the Dwarf's in my flimsy shoes and his giant boots.

Without looking up I said quietly, "I suppose that's what happen, eh?"

"Yes." Came Fili's response.

Finding comfort in mockery as per I looked up at him, finding a grin from my pits of my stomach, "Well, if all else fails you could be in a band." I lightly punched his chest playfully, no sooner than I did I mentally slapped myself and blushed at how hard the muscle was.

Fili didn't seem to understand, "Sorry?"

"Don't worry." I muttered, my grin fading. "So how far away is this place?"

"What place?"

Did he have to stand so close? Does he not know what personal space is?

I took a small step back, "Your homeland?"

"Erebor."

"Yes that." I shifted under his gaze, he seemed tenser compared to earlier, less easy-going and more serious, "You okay?"

"It is over the Misty Mountains, the other side of Mirkwood, and yes, fine. How is the Hobbit?" Something dripped from the word 'Hobbit' as he spoke, but what I did not know.

"Well, cheers for clearing that up, buddy! And I don't think he's so good. I'm sure your tea helped though." With that I sashayed around him, flashing an awkward smile as I did and patting his shoulder.

I walked past a chuckling Bofur.

I quirked my eyebrow at him, "What you having a giggle about?"

"Nothing, lass." He snorted, placing his pipe back in his mouth and nearly choking on it as I glared at him.

"Should we not be waiting for Bilbo?" I asked, hopping round as I tried to pull my shoe on. We had gathered outside said Hobbit's home, about to leave. It was still early and I as a result was extremely tired and slightly grumpy. I didn't even begin to contemplate the idea of having to get on a horse. The air around us was still crisp and the grass heavily dewy, but it was not particularly cold, just a little nippy.

I had gone to bed soon after the Dwarves song, feeling totally pooped. I had not even so much as stirred until Thorin came stomping into the room I had shared with Ori, Dori and Nori, and rudely awakening us, as payback I had burnt his bacon.

No one wakes me up and lives to tell the tale.

"He made it quite clear that he will not be joining us." Thorin answered briskly.

"What about a Burglar?" I blinked at him. Ori had filled me in with the whole quest last night before bed.

"I'm sure we'll manage. He would be a burden anyway, he cannot even wield a weapon." Thorin almost snorted, as if the thought of not people able to fight was barbaric.

I forced a hoot, "Yeah, and who can't do that? Pfft!" I quickly began rummaging through my bag, not actually looking for anything in particular but hoping to avoid the rest of the conversation.

"And you, what is your weapon of choice, lassie?" Dwalin replied, coming up behind me and making me yelp.

"Err-rrm umph!" I cleared my throat awkwardly.

"A sword?" He grabbed my hand and raised my arm up, he seemed to be inspecting me, "You got some muscles on you, girl." He squeezed my upper arm and I squealed in laugher. It tickles!

"Well I do go to the gym." I replied pointedly, taking my arm back and crossing them over my chest.

"What's a gym?" Asked Ori, already pulling out his journal and quill.

"It's a place you go to get fit. I went to lose weight, but blokes go there basically to lift weights and show off." I replied with a slight huff.

A few murmurs rippled through the company, and for some strange reason an image of Fili bench pressing popped into my head. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Well, so can you wield a sword?" Dwalin asked again, crossing his arms over his chest also. I gulped, my eyes widening at his own arms. I bet he wouldn't have any issues at the gym…

"Of course!" I replied confidently, before pausing and lowering my head, "Okay, that's a lie."

"What can you do?"

"Erm, I'm okay an archery?" Okay, that was a push, I'd done it twice, and both times to my credit I was pretty good. But one of those two times was with a plastic bow and the arrow had a little sucker on the end of it. But the second one was a proper bow and arrow, and I did actually hit the target a few times, but I did have to wear my glasses, which were still tucked somewhere in my bag. I made a mental note to put them on, it might be useful if I could actually see what was going on more than two metres away from me.

"Really?" Dwalin raised his brow and I heard a 'wahoo!' from Kili behind me.

"Ish anyway," I grinned cheekily at him, "But!" I quickly cut him off as I saw he was about to speak, "I can through a punch."

"And how did you come to that conclusion?"

"I broke my ex-boyfriends nose." I replied, a triumphant look on my face. I turned away from him and made my way over to Aero, who thankfully seemed to be in a better mood than yesterday.

"What's an ex-boyfriend?" Ori asked, blinking at me as I inelegantly hoisted myself into the saddle, my bum in the air as I swung my leg over, before settling myself down and taking up the reins.

"Skills!"

"What?" Ori peered at me as I slowly plodded over to him.

"Don't you have boyfriends here? Well, or in your case a girlfriend? I'd assume anyway."

Ori just blinked at me again, and soon enough we were off. Me and Ori side by side, Nori and Dori behind us and Kili and Fili in front.

Ori still looked confused, so I searched for the words.

"You do have love right?" I clarified.

"Of course." Ori and Fili confirmed. I blinked at the back of Fili's head before continuing. I didn't realise he was listening also, and he still seemed a little grumpy by the way he grunted his reply.

"Well, don't you date before you fall in love? Like yanno, test the waters, get a taste of what's on offer?"

"What? Dwarves fall in love almost instantly. They is no tasting when two souls finally find each other. It is rare for a Dwarf to find love, but when two halves of a whole meet they pursue instantly with courtship." Ori responded casually.

"Love is rare?" I tried to avert the conversation away from myself.

"Only one-third of the Dwarven population is female, lass." Nori informed me, "And even then most women are married to their craft, there is only about half of them who are willing to marry."

"That sucks!"

"So you have found love?" Ori interjected, bring the conversation painfully back to myself.

"Obviously not if she broke some poor gits nose!" Hooted Kili.

"He's not a 'poor git', he's a bastard." I laughed breezily.

"Pray tell?" Dori asked.

"He cheated on me, like a lot. He told girls we weren't together so he could sleep with them." I replied casually. I was over it now, so I didn't care sharing the information, it was over a year ago anyway.

The Dwarves fell surprisingly silent, and I turned my attention to picking the dirt out of my nails (I still kept a tight hold on the reins of Aero though).

"Well he was a fool then." Fili finally spoke, his voice monotone.

I looked up, expecting him to be facing me, but he wasn't.

"Why would he do that?" Ori asked, wide eyed.

"Not sure," I yawned, "But I don't care."

"Why not?" Kili asked, glancing back at me.

"Because I don't. I didn't love him, I thought I did at the time," I scoffed, "But now in hindsight I know I never did. I was just in a bad place and susceptible to the abuse."

"Abuse?" Fili turned around then, almost glaring at me. "Did he ever lay a bad hand on you?"

I rubbed the back of my neck, not wanting to answer. I didn't talk about it, I didn't talk about any of this stuff to people. I quickly changed the subject instead.

"Hey, what's with the braids anyway?" My eyes didn't leave Fili, but he slowly turned back around.

"Well," Dori began, but stopped when Fili lightly kicked his horse to a run. We all watched him in confusion as he went to join Thorin at the front and instantly got his attention. Dori's brow furrowed and he shared a look with his brother.

I blinked, "Well?"

"Oh!" His attention came back to me, "Well they mean many different things, lass, depending on the braid itself, its position, the bead, and so on." He waved his hand in a rolling motion, "And they're also for show, of course."

I snorted and turned back around, catching glimpse of both Thorin and Fili looking at me. Without thinking I pulled a stupid face, crossing my eyes and sticking my tongue out.

They both turned back around.

Smooth Olivia… Smooth…

_Hola my lovelies! Here's another chapter. Thank you so much for all those who've favourited, followed and especially reviewed! I love to hear what you all have to say! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Much love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_


	5. Clockwork

We had ridden for about another half hour (I wasn't entirely sure as my watch was still obviously incorrect) before we heard a ball of curly haired chaos approaching.

"Wait, Wait!"

Everyone stopped, looking round to find Bilbo racing towards us a fast as his little legs and big feet would allow. In his hand he held up his contract, trailing behind him like a kite.

"I signed it, I signed it!" He puffed eventually reaching us and handing Balin the parchment, a little crinkled from his journey. Bilbo bent over, trying to compose himself and catch his breath, his hands on his knees as he wheezed.

Balin smiled from under his beard, "It all seems to be in order." He glanced at Thorin.

"Give him a pony." Thorin grumbled before turning back around, closing the conversation and any further comment.

Bilbo looked as petrified as I had done at the idea of a pony and began spluttering nonsense, trying to worm his way out of riding one of the hooved beasts. But before he got the chase to string a justifiable sentence together Fili and Kili grabbed a handful of his little red coat each and pulled him up onto a pony. Poor Bilbo sat as awkwardly as I did as he sneered down at the bobbing creature.

I slowed my horse down (I'm getting the knack of this) and went to plod along beside him. I just had the urge to mother him, even though he was clearly older than me, he was just so cute!

"You okay, boo?" I asked him, flicking a leaf that had settled on my saddle towards him, but it fell short.  
"I'm sorry?" The Hobbit gaped at me.

"Are you okay?" I repeated.

"Boo? Isn't that what you say when you want to scare someone?" Ori question. I turned round on my saddle to look at him as he pulled out his journal again, obviously anticipating a new definition for this word.

I rolled my eyes playfully and smiled, "Yes, but it also means like…" I paused, thinking, what does it mean? Usually in these situations I'd pull out my phone and google it, but I think I'd lost it in the water. Which was depressing. "I suppose it's a kind of pet name, like you'd call someone honey, or sweetie, or sugar, or babe. I used to say it all the time back home." My heart dropped like a lead weight.

"Babe?" Kili hooted, suddenly interested also, "Isn't that a baby pig?"

I laughed, "It's like baby, like you'd say 'how are you, baby?'"

"So it is a sign of affection?" Nori asked and I shrugged.

"Kinda."

Ori was still scribbling away in his book.

"Do you call everyone these 'pet names'?" Bilbo asked, obviously more interested in my jargon than my burning desire to mother him. He shifted awkwardly on his pony, still sneering.

"No, not really. Only special people." I winked playfully at him and he instantly started spluttering again, which I found hilarious. I was beginning to get the idea that everyone was a lot more reserved here, which to be honest I quite liked.

I spent most of the day chewing Bilbo's ear off while he concentrated hard on riding his pony, I on the other hand was trying to do everything I could to not think about the pony on which I was situated, and in between my gabbing I would let my mind wander. Mainly I would think about the scenery and appreciating it. Originally I was a country girl, growing up on the outskirts of Kent in the UK (aka the garden of England- pfft!) but for the past eight months I'd been living in Brixton just outside London, the only greenery that was there was the occasional snot rocket on the pavement.

Everyone had been silent for a while and once again I glanced down at my watch. The time was 1:43, and the in the little box where the date was it was the 31st.

"Happy Halloween everyone!" I realised and I saw Bilbo jump out of the corner of my eye from my outburst.

"What?" Fili turned round, I blinked at him. Why do I keep getting sucked into his eyes?

"It's Halloween, isn't it?" I tapped my watch, "Do you have Halloween here?"

"No. What is it?" Kili asked, appearing out of nowhere besides me.

"It's a holiday, like Christmas and Easter, but a scary one. It's in October."

"What's Christmas and what's Easter? And it's April not October." Fili replied, turning back around to face the front. The more I got to know him the more he turned into grumpy-grots Thorin, he seemed so different from how he was at Bilbo's. I was beginning to get the idea that he was trying to impress Thorin by the way he kept glancing over at him, but I suppose Thorin is a soon-to-be King so I can't blame him for trying to be proper in his presence.

"You don't have Christmas?" I wailed, about to cry, "It's when people give each other presents and eat loads of food and get really fat! And Easter is when you eat loads of chocolate! And what do you mean it's April?"

"I like the sound of these holidays!" Kili grinned from beside me, peering at me when I began fiddling with the dials on my watch, "What're you doing? What's that?"

Before I had even grasped the little pin to change the date Kili had grabbed my hand and yanked it towards him, nearly pulling me off my horse. "Kili!" I screamed in panic, trying to find my balance. I tugged my arm back, scowling slightly.

"What's that?" He asked again, his eyes set on my watch.

"A watch." I said bluntly.

"Really? Let me see?" He made a move to grab my hand again and I quickly flinched away, glaring at him.

"What's the magic word?"

"Please?" He grinned at me. Awh, can I chub his cheeks?

Slowly I removed my watch and passed it too him. I noticed Fili was at his side now, looking at my watch also. It was just a plain silver, but had a ring off small Swarovski crystals around it. The face of the watch was mother of pearl and it had three mini dials in it; one being a minute timer; one a 24 hour and one I wasn't sure of the use. In the bottom right hand corner sat the little date box.

"It's so shiny." Kili said in awe, running the polished silver along his thick fingers.

"I've never seen anything like this." Fili added, taking the watch from his brother.

"Do you not have clocks?" I asked them, watching with uncertainty as Fili bounced it up and down in his hands.

"We have clocks, but nothing like this! It's so delicate. What do these do?" Fili pointed to the three pins.

"The middle one changes the time and date, and the bottom one sets the minute timer, I'm not sure what the top one does- if anything to be honest."

"It tells you the date too?" Fili handed it back to his brother who gave it another once over before placing it into my outstretched hand. I noted that it was suddenly considerably warmer how it had been in their hands. "What' Y?"

"Yes, a lot of watches do, some even tell the month and year. And DKNY is a designer brand name, they're the ones who make it." I replied, slightly chuffed, "Rather expensive I'll have you know." I clipped it back onto my wrist. "So what's the date?" I began fiddling with the pins again, "And time? If you know." How would they know without a watch themselves?

Kili's attention was now elsewhere so I looked to his brother for answers. Fili glanced between me and the watch, then up at the sky, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"About 6:30, and it's the 27th of April."

I blinked at him, genuinely astonished.

"Wow, how do you do that?" I glanced around, half expecting there to be a clock floating around somewhere.

Fili smirked, and I melted. The way he looked was just… majestic? And hot, of course. Can't forget the hotness.

"It's the alignment of the sun. I could teach you, if you'd like?" I couldn't help but think I detected a hint of hopefulness in his voice. But I just shook it off, as if he'd be interested in me anyway so pfft.

I grinned at him and nodded, "Yes please."

Fili tilted his head in my direction and I think he went to say something else but Thorin interrupted.

"Not now. We're stopping soon."

"Nosy!" I called, but I was ignored.

Thorin wasn't kidding when he said we'd be stopping soon, within the next ten minutes we were outside what looked like an Inn.

"The Green Dragon…" I read aloud as everyone dismounted, except me of course and Bilbo was slowly sliding off his saddle next to me.

"Need a hand?" I looked down to my right to find Fili standing beside my pony, looking up at me with his pale blue-green eyes, amusement dancing within them and a small smirk under his moustache.

"Ermm… Yes please." I asked nervously, smiling coyly at him. His smirk turned into a sincere smile and raised his arms.

"Jump."

My eyes boggled and a hooted a laugh, "You having a giggle? I'll crush you!"

Fili looked confused, "Having a giggle?" He repeated, his arms still raised, "I'm not giggling about anything, Miss."

I gave him another cautious look and he smiled at me again, raising his arms slightly. Slowly I swung my left leg over the horse so I was sitting facing him, "Ready?" I was still really unsure about this. Surely I'd crush him! Oh God, how embarrassing. What if I knock him over or something? I mean, I'm not fat but he's only short. But then again he looks pretty hench…

He nodded and I inelegantly slipped off the horse with a squeak. Quickly, before my feet hit the ground, Fili caught me from around my waist and pulled me into him for support. I flushed bright red when our bodies were pushed together, his hands still on my waist and mine resting gently on his chest. My pit of my stomach suddenly fizzed when I felt how solid his chest was under my fingers, and my heart leaped at the fact our noses were almost touching (not that it was surprising, his nose was pretty big). I gulped, once again getting lost in his grey-green eyes. Out of awkwardness I glanced down at his lips which wore a faint smirk and I couldn't help but notice how soft they looked.

I quickly pushed myself away and brushed myself off, giving him a stiff nod of thanks and quickly walking away, trying to hold my head high. I glanced back at him, he was watching me walk away, still a small smirk on his lips.

Damn.

I was probably still as read as a tomato as I followed Bofur into the Inn and was nearly knocked off my feet by the sudden smell of firewood and beer.

We all filed at the door all waiting for Thorin to return from the bar where he was talking to the bar man. When he came back over he didn't look happy, not that it was unusual, but he looked grumpier than ever.

"What is it?" Bilbo asked from beside me. I could tell he was itching to get some food in his belly, probably more so than the rest of us.

"He says they have no rooms." Thorin replied coldly, shooting a glare towards the barman who was eyeing us all up. "Although he clearly as keys on the back wall."

"Oh please!" I scoffed and pushed past Bombur who partially blocked me, "Step aside boys, let a pro handle this." I clapped Thorin on the shoulder as I passed him, sashaying over to the barman whose eyes were now on me. I may not look my best, but to hell with it, I'm hungry and tired and I'm a girl who gets what she wants.

"Excuse me, Sir." I turned on my flirty tone ever so slightly, and folded my arms on the bar, standing on my tip toes and leaning on to the wooden top, "You don't happen to have any spare rooms left do you for myself and my companions?" I looked up at him through my eyelashes.

The barman leant forward on the bar also, peering at me slightly, "I don't want no trouble makers." He replied, his voice low and a creepy smile graced his lips.

"Oh, well that's a shame," I leant forward a little more, "Because I am a trouble maker." I winked at him, and obviously that sealed the deal because in one swift movement he leant back and grabbed three keys.

"You have three rooms, gorgeous." His smile grew, and it took me a lot of willpower to hold back my gag.

Instead I returned the smile, "Thank you." He dropped the keys in my hand, and I gave him one last look from under my eyelashes before swaggering back to the rest of the Company, all wearing mixed expressions.

I cleared my throat and dangled the keys in front of Thorin.

"How did you do that?" He asked gruffly, taking the keys rather roughly from me.

I smirked and shrugged, "Because I'm amazing."

In response Thorin just grunted and brushed passed me. Fili followed and when I gave him a grin he pointedly ignored me. My heart twisted and my smile faded.

"Thirteen ales for the lads! And a wine for the lass!"

Fourteen tankards were dumped on the table and my eyes widened when one was pushed my way.

"Is this wine?!" I laughed, taking a quick sniff of it, "In a tankard?!"

"Ay, you're one of us now, and we don't drink in _glasses_!" Bofur hooted from down the table, "Drink up!"

"This must be nearly a whole bottle!"

"And some!" Nori chimed in and the Dwarves all roared with laughter.

I took a quick sip and nearly choked on it. I've never had wine so strong! Oh God, I'm going to be so fucked after this.

"You don't have to drink it." I heard Fili say from across the table. I glanced over at him, he looked genuinely sincere, but this was the first time he'd acknowledged me since we entered the inn. Although that wasn't too long ago, I'd tried to talk to him twice and both times he'd blatantly ignored me. He was doing my head in already, he's nice, then he's moody, then he's nice, then he's moody. I have enough to ponder without him stressing me out.

"Oh, decided I exist now, have we?" I sassed, and I quickly regretted it for Fili's expression suddenly turned surprisingly stormy and he turned away. I mentally slapped myself and took a full mouthful of wine. Instantly my body warmed as it rolled down my throat and my stomach buzzed pleasantly. After another few gulps I felt it go straight to my head. Oh help.

Okay, so I wasn't _drunk, drunk. _I was the same I always was after a bottle or two of wine, which is really, really tipsy and borderline smashed. I was absolutely buzzing! I felt fantastic, I wasn't all over the place, I wasn't slurring my words, but I was so happy. I'd completely forgotten about everything that I hadn't realised was weighing my down.

Which is why I was sitting next to Bilbo playing with his hair.

"You have such lovely hair." I cooed, twisting a lock around my finger. He simply hummed in appreciation, seemingly enjoying it. He was slumped over the table slightly, his eyes closed.

"I assume that hair fondling doesn't mean the same to you as it does to us, lass!" I heard Dwalin chuckle from down the table.

I glanced towards him, catching Fili's glare as I did so.

"What?" I shot at Fili quickly before turning my attention to Dwalin. I grinned at him, "What do you mean?"

"It's rather an intimate act for us Dwarves." Balin continued, chuckling from under his beard, "To play with one's hair is an act only committed by a couple. To us it means courtship."

At that Bilbo and I sprung a part, and I nearly catapulted off my chair if it wasn't for Bombur catching me. A booming of laughter erupted from the table.

"No courtship then?" Dwalin roared.

"God no! Never!" I laughed, glancing at Bilbo who looked horrified.

"Never?" Kili asked, his laughter dying down a bit at my words, "Never ever?"

"No!" I laughed again, "Never ever."

"You never want to commit yourself to anyone?" Ori asked. I suddenly noticed that everyone had stopped laughing, I glanced at Gandalf for answers, but he looked too amused to give me any.

I shook my head slowly, a questioning look on my face, "No, why?"

"Surely everyone wants to get married, if they can." Kili blinked at me from besides his brother. Fili was staring at me with a blank expression.

"I never want to get married, I never want to have children, I-"

I was cut off by (surprisingly) Fili, "You never want to have heirs?"

"Heirs to what?" I answered rather sharply. His words were a harsh reminder that I had _nothing_ here for me. And I was still annoyed at him.

Fili didn't reply, but he finally averted his eyes and took a long swig of his ale.

"Why don't you want to find your one?" Ori asked, pulling out his journal, and probably half expecting for it to be a cultural difference.

Again I shrugged, "After what happened with my family, I can't bare the thought of it. The last thing I want is to put my kids through all that."

"What happened with your parents?" Gloin asked inquisitively.

I fidgeted awkwardly. It had been so long since I'd spoken about my parent's messy divorce, and if I was sober I doubt I would have mentioned anything at all. But my intoxicated self continued, "My parents had a nasty divorce and my family fell apart." I didn't want to say anymore. The words didn't sit right in my mouth and when they fell from my tongue they left a nasty taste.

"Divorce?" Ori blinked at me.

"My mum had an affair with another man, and my parents split up. They don't talk anymore and our family are all against each other." I didn't mention any more, I refused to mention the boyfriends and the childish games. They didn't need to know that.

At my words a ripple of whispers spread down the table, and I raised my brow.

"Sorry, lass, that sort of thing is unheard of to us." Balin explained, catching my confused look.

"It's not?"

"A Dwarf will recognise his one instantly and when he falls in love he does so for life, no matter what. Once a Dwarf has found their other half they refuse to let them go."

I smiled softly, "That sounds wonderful."

From the corner of my eye I saw Fili's knuckles flex around his tankard.

"So what do Dwarves do for fun?" I quickly asked, sensing another question about to roll of Kili's tongue.

Bombur opened his mouth but I suddenly stopped him, an urge to pee washing over me.

"Hold that thought, I'll be back in a mo'." I jumped up and weaved my way through the group of burly men to the bathroom. Once inside I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was a lot nicer than the last pub I'd stumbled across (although not as nice as Bilbo's of course).

I was just washing my hands when the bathroom door swung open and in stepped a tall, bury male.

Instantly I raised my eyebrows and glanced around, straightening up.

"Sorry, am I in the men's?" I knew I wasn't, but I was politely telling him he was in the wrong bathroom. Or at least I was trying to.

"No." He grinned, flashing an empty mouth of teeth and taking a step towards me. Oh God, I can feel my wine coming back up.

"Well can I ask what you're doing in here then?" I stood my ground as he slowly advanced towards me. Which was stupid of me, as per. I folded my still damp hands across my chest and stood as tall as I could. Although I barely reached his shoulders.

"Gutsy one, aren't you?" He ran the back of his hand down the side of my face, a sickly grin still hanging on his face.

I didn't even so much as flinch. I've been living in London too long…

I didn't reply, only raise my brow.

Without warning and in one swift moment he grabbed me around the neck and I choked. He began to push me back into one of the cubicles but once again I stood my ground, shooting daggers at him as he forced me back. My hands were wrapped tightly around his wrist as I tried to pull him away.

"Hey what's that?" I nodded towards the door.

Just as I had anticipated the halfwit turned around, his attention lapsing for just enough time for me to knee him as hard as I could in the groin.

He cried out and realised his grip around my neck. He doubled over in pain and I took advantage of his face closer to my level. In one swift movement I raised my closed fist and punched him as hard as I could in the face. I have only punched a few times in my life, but just enough times to know how to do it and how to make it hurt. I punched him upwards towards his nose, instantly breaking it with a crack.

The man stumbled back, falling against the door and toppling through it onto the floor outside. I stepped outside the bathroom, completely unaware that the pub had fallen deadly silent. I brushed my hands together and stepped over the groaning male, making my way back to the companies table.

Half way there Fili brushed past me, almost knocking me over as he bulldozed through with the most menacing look on his face that I'd ever seen. Ever.

"Fili, are you—"

I didn't get a chance to finish for he grabbed the man who was just picking himself up off the ground by the scruff of his shirt and pulled him up to face him. I winced when the Dwarf punched the man square in the face, a loud crack echoed through the dead silence of the bar. Fili then dropped the now unconscious halfwit and stormed off in the other direction towards the stairs.

It all happened so fast I wasn't entirely sure that it actually happened.

"Fili!" I called after him, my legs involuntary already moving towards the direction he'd just exited. I not-so-carefully stepped over the groaning man on the floor ('accidently' kicking him as I walked over him).

As soon as I'd ascended the stairs I heard the music and ruckus downstairs start back up, obviously the moment and the excitement had passed.

"Fili?" I called into the corridor, standing awkwardly at the top of the stairs. There was no reply from any of the doors. I sighed, and knocked on the first door. There was no reply.

I went to the second door and knocked. I jumped when it swung open to reveal a rather disgruntled old man. "Sorry!" I quickly spluttered, leaning forward and quickly shutting the door for him briskly. I turned around and let out a sigh of relief when I saw Fili standing outside the last door. Still a stormy look upon his face and his arms tightly folded across his chest.

"You okay?" I asked him. He simply ignored me and re-entered the bedroom, shutting the door hard behind him. Without thinking I followed him in and quietly shut the door behind me. He was sitting on the bed facing away from me, turning one of his knives over and over in his hands.

"You're not going to kill me, are you?" I tried to jest, but it fell flat when he just glanced round at me with a 'what the fuck' look on his face. Awkwardly I cleared my throat and went to sit beside him on the bed. For a long while we sat in silence, I just watched him fold the knife over and over in his hands.

When I realised he wasn't going to talk I gently bumped shoulders with him to get his attention. For a second it worked for he glanced up at me, but he didn't meet my eyes before turning his attention back to his knife.

"You knocked that guy completely unconscious, you know?" I forced a weak snigger in an attempt to break the ice. Clearly it didn't work because he didn't reply. "You didn't need to."

There was a long pause before he finally stopped twisting the knife in his hands. "I had to defend your honour." His voice was deeper than usual, and slightly raspy.

Without thinking I gently put my hand on his. His head snapped up and his eyes finally met mine. Instantly I felt uneasy, I felt as though I may be being bold. If playing with someone's hair is a sign of courtship I wouldn't be surprised if putting my hand on his meant we were engaged or something. I hope it doesn't though.

I was about to remove my hand when he slowly turned his hand around, so we were palm to palm and laced our fingers together. For a while we just sat like that; I staring at our hands, a turmoil of thoughts racing through my head; and he staring at me, a small smile on his lips.

"What's been up with you today?" I was still pretty drunk, and still quite annoyed at him, but even though he didn't need to 'defend my honour' I still couldn't be an arse to him. I'd never had someone stand up for me like that, and I liked it. Even if I was mad at said person.

"What do you mean?" His eyes didn't leave my face and when I didn't reply for a moment I felt him gently squeeze my hand to prompt me. My heart thumped heavily and my stomach knotted uneasily. What the hell is going on? He's worse than a girl on her period!

"The mood swings." I glanced up him, "One minute you like me and the next you don't want to know me."

As soon as the words left my mouth his smile faded and he shook his head. "That's not the case." He pulled his hand away from mine and held his knife again.

"Then what is?"

Again he didn't reply, and instead he began turning his knife over and over, his eyes suddenly glue to it.

Something inside me snapped and I abruptly stood.

"Whatever then." I snapped and stormed out without even a backwards glance. Who does he think he is? Fucking around like that. I barely know the guy and he's already flip flopping. I've known him a day and he's being so weird towards me.

Why do I care so much?

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_HIIIIIII_

_I'm so sorry it's taken me two weeks to update! but that's only because I've just moved out and haven't had wifi! but I have been writing and have like seven or so chapters waiting to be posted of this story!_

_soooooo_

_please follow, favourite and review, I love reviews! please let me know what you think and constructive criticism is most welcome_

_bare love and tings xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_


	6. There is One I Could Call King

The next morning was a little bit of a blur, and to my surprise I didn't wake up with much of a hangover, I was just super tired and not really with it. After mine and Fili's brief bicker I had quickly sobered up, and soon after I went to bed, too exhausted and frustrated to fully participate with the others festivities. I shared a room with Ori, Nori, Dori, Bifur, Bofur and Bombur, which probably wasn't a wise move bearing in mind Bombur's snoring habits and his continuous farting in his sleep, not to mention the fact that after every trumpet at least one fellow Dwarf would giggle.

Nevertheless I woke up surprisingly breezy, at first I'd completely forgotten the argument. Until that is I stepped out the bedroom door and was pretty much ambushed by a brown haired ball of Kili.

"Jeeeeesus!" I hissed, holding my head as it span violently. Okay, I take it back, maybe I am a little more hung over than I thought. "It's far too early for any games Kils, please!"

Kili just shushed me and dragged me up the hall and into the empty room, the one I'd first knocked on last night. Once inside he sat me down on the bed and stood before me, arms folded across his chest like a disapproving parent. But of course this is Kili we're talking about, so he just looked like a stroppy teenager instead.

I wasn't particularly patient this morning, I hadn't had a cup of tea yet and I was starving, so when he didn't speak I prompted him, "What?" It came out as a grunted.

Kili pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes at me, not as if he was angry or annoyed, but as if he was debating something in his little head.

"Well?"

"Are you alright?"

I blinked at him, "Am I alright? Of course I am." I scoffed a laugh, "why wouldn't I be? Shouldn't I be? Enough with the small talk, Kili. What's going on?"

Again Kili didn't reply for a while, and I debated getting up and leaving but just as I was about to do so he finally spoke properly.

"What's going on with you and my brother?"

My eyebrows jumped in surprise, "What?" I hooted a laugh, "Nothing, honey. I've only know him a few days and he's already acting like a weirdo. I'm not into that." I stood to leave but Kili stopped me, a frown on his face.

"Not into that?"

I sighed, "I've had more than my fair share of arse holes. Fili is clearly as temperamental as the others so I'm not interested, if that's what you're getting at. My first impression of him was great, but yesterday…" I trailed off, my face screwed up as I struggled to find the words, "He didn't exactly uphold that impression." Apart from when he knocked that guy out, wooweee that was hot!

I obviously didn't say that out loud though.

The thing was, I'd known this Fili for three days now, _**three stinking days.**_ I barely know him and he's already being moody and temperamental with me. He seems to get in strops over nothing and I don't even know why. I don't know the guy, sure he's hot, but I'm really not into all that flip flopping. And last night, the way he smiled when he held my hand… It was weird.

Kili looked almost taken aback, "He's not usually like that. It's just…" He paused, looking uneasy.

"It's just what?"

"He doesn't really know what to do."

"About what? I don't know him-"

"It's not about whether or not you know him! For us Dwarves that doesn't matter, it doesn't work like that, it just… happens."

"What just happens?" I frowned, something grew heavy in my heart; something that felt a lot like dread.

Kili groaned in frustration and stamped his foot, his fists tightened, "I can't say, it's not my place to say. But you're a human, if you were a Dwarf it would be so much easier. He told me everything last night so I'm asking as a friend please, please give him a chance?"

I blinked at Kili, literally so confused over his cryptic words. I gave him a 'what the fuck?' look and rolled my eyes, "Whatever Kils. Come on, I'm starving."

Kili's cryptic words hung over me like a fog for most the morning and I found myself staring into the back of Fili for long periods of time. I was almost completely ignoring Bilbo next to me, which I sort of felt bad about, but he didn't seem to notice, or mind.

My mind was a turmoil of emotions, thoughts and feelings, trying to decipher Kili's words. He couldn't possibly mean…? No he couldn't have meant…?

Just as these thoughts crossed my mind Fili glanced round at me, and for a split second our eyes locked, but I quickly looked away, a feeling of unease creeping up on me.

I don't even know him, so why is he acting so weird around me? He's not acting like he's just met me, he's not acting like the other Dwarves, I didn't understand his behaviour and I was totally repelled by it.

The next few days passed rather uneventfully, and I bonded mostly with Ori, Bilbo and Kili. I'd managed to steer quite clear of Fili, until just over a week into the quest my watch stopped working. And I wanted to know the time.

"Kili, do you know the time?" I asked, kicking the Dwarf for attention as I levelled him. I had been riding next to Bilbo who I was sure wouldn't have the time.

Kili was deeply engrossed in picking his nose and his reply was a delayed: "eh?"

"Do you still want me to teach you how to tell the time?" Came a voice from ahead, and looking forward I discovered it to be Fili's.

I blinked at him for a moment, this was the first time in over a week we'd spoke, and it was odd. For the first few days after our last conversation he was as weird as ever; every time I spoke to Bilbo or huddled into him for warmth I would feel a pair of eyes boring into me, and when I turned I'd always find it to be Fili's. Every time we happened to cross paths, whether it was while making camp or while on ponies, he'd always mutter something under his breath in a language I couldn't understand. But for the last few days he's pointedly ignored me, it was almost like to him I didn't exist. Either way I was indifferent.

But now he was actually trying to converse with me, and it was strange.

"Erm." Was all I was able to muster, and he somehow got the hint for he gave me a stiff nod and turned back around. Instantly gilt filled my belly and I mentally slapped myself. I was raised with manors, and no matter how weird he was I could have been polite, I **should** have been polite. But at least be got the message without my awkward fumbling's.

That night we stopped on the edge of a cliff, Bilbo and I sat just a little way out from the group eating our stew in a mixture of silence and polite conversation, while the others devoured their dinner as if they hadn't eaten for days. I'd been pleasantly surprised how well fed we'd been so far, I was offered three meals a day, three **full** meals a day. Which was more than I got when at home, I hate lunch and had a snack for dinner and that was it, so I did find myself donating most of my food to Bombur, or Kili when he came sniffing.

I didn't sit away from the rest of the Company because I didn't get along with them, I got along with them amazingly well. I sat away from them because of Bilbo, he didn't get along with them so well and as bad as it sounds my loyalty laid with him the most, because he needed it the most. I knew he felt as though he didn't fit in as well and that he needed someone (other than Gandalf of course, but even he flitted around the Company like a moth to a light).

I was just finishing my stew when there was a loud howl in the distance, I stopped dead and Bilbo, who was on his way to go feed Myrtle, instantly stiffened.

"What was that?" He asked in a panic, looking around for danger.

"Orcs." Replied Kili flatly, hiding his face behind his pipe.

"Orcs?" Bilbo was halfway to his horse when he heard the noise and he instantly came scuttling back towards me. Pfft, as if I'd be any help.

"Throat cutters. There'd be dozens of them out there. The low lands are crawling with them." Interjected Fili, watching Bilbo intently as he sat beside me.

Kili found it his place to continue, "They strike, in the wee small hours, when everyone's asleep. Quick and quiet, no screams. Just lots of blood."

I heard a little squeak come from Bilbo and I instinctively put my arm around him for comfort, although I doubted it did much. Fili and Kili were blatantly teasing him, they were barely able to contain their snickering until Thorin's baritone voice broke through.

"You think that's funny? You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?" His face showed visible signs of menace, he looked almost offended and sickened at the fact the two boys found it comical.

"We didn't mean anything by it." Kili muttered, and the two brothers bowed their heads in shame.

"No you didn't. You know nothing of the world." Thorin's words were oozing with distaste as he got up and walked towards the edge of the cliff, his hands clenched behind his back.

"Don't mind him, laddie. Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs." And with that, he began the story. Bilbo and I listened intently as he retold Thorin's traumatising past, he told us of his grandfather, the Dragon, his father, the Elves, the search for a new homeland, and of course of the white Orc. By his final words everyone was standing, including me and Bilbo.

"And I thought to myself then, there is one who I could follow, there is one I could call King."

It was then I realised, as Thorin turned to look at us all, why the Dwarf seemed so bitter. After hearing of the battle to reclaim Moria it all made sense, Thorin was broken with grief that his kin (infamously his grandfather and brother) were killed for no reason. Thorin believed that the death of his kin was for nothing, and that haunted him. The belief that his family and friends died in vain, their lives wasted and nothing gained.

It was then and there by heart swelled with respect for the man. And I no longer saw him as a grumpy old git, but as a man silently beside himself with grief. What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.

"And the white orc?" Bilbo suddenly piped up.

"He slunk back into the hole whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago." Came Thorin's reply.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Gandalf and Balin exchange a glance and I frowned, dread bubbling up inside me.

I sat back down with a hard thud, pushing everything that had just been brought to light out of my mind. Slowly Bilbo took a seat next to me, looking as if he'd seen a ghost.

"You okay, boo?" I asked him, giving him a slight shoulder bump.

He nodded numbly and I sighed, slinging my arm around him once more. Eventually he fell asleep like that, and I took this opportunity to scowl at Fili and Kili.

"You know, you didn't need to scare him like that. He'll probably have nightmares again now." I hissed at them quietly, but loudly enough for them to hear. About two nights ago Bilbo had a bad dream, and for half the night he'd kept kicking me in my sleep, and the other half I had stayed up with him, telling him it was alright and everything would be fine.

In response Kili just snickered, whereas Fili's face was deadpan. He let out a huff, "No doubt you'll look after him though." He almost snapped.

"Yeah, damn right I will. No one else will, poor thing!" I yell whispered again, glaring at the blonde.

Fili dramatically rolled his eyes, "He'll survive. He's loving the attention."

"What?" I hissed, "He's scared shitless, and you insensitive prunes are just making things worse for him!"

"And what about you, lass?" Fili had opened his mouth to respond by Balin had cut him off, a look of curiosity on his face.

"What do you mean?" I blinked at him, my heating temper disappearing.

"Are you scared?"

I thought for a moment before answering truthfully, "No."

"You're not?" Ori asked, shuffling forward on his bottom.

I shrugged, "Bilbo needs looking after; he needs someone by him. He's my priority before myself."

With that Fili abruptly stood and more or less stomped off, and to my surprise Thorin followed after him, I heard Thorin growl the blonde's name.

I sat there for a moment, watching the spot where the pair had just disappeared into the darkness.

It wasn't until I heard Balin heavily sigh that I spoke again.

"What's up with him, seriously?"

"Who?" Replied Kili, acting as if nothing happened.

I gave him 'the look', "You're brother, you muppet."

Kili scoffed, "Pfft, nothing." He sat there twiddling his thumbs and avoiding eye contact. So I went to Balin for answers, I blinked and him expectantly.

"Nothing you should concern yourself with, lass."

I sighed this time, exasperated that everyone in this damned place spoke in riddles.


	7. Stupid Trolls

The next five days passed uneventfully. At least I think it was five days, might have a week, I don't even know anymore.

Somewhere along the line the Dwarves had worked out that when I said I was from a different world that genuinely meant a different world, and not just the other side of Middle Earth. So I had spent nearly the entire day explaining the weirdly, wonderful wonders that were aeroplanes to them, and my job, and electricity, and computers, and cars, and fridges and so forth.

It wasn't until it started to royally piss down with rain that the conversation finally died down. Even though we were travelling through woodland I was still soaked through to the bone, the water had completely penetrated my hoodie, jumper (which I'd put on a few nights ago), my top and both my trackie bottoms and leggings I'd put on underneath for extra warmth (not that was doing much now). It was like I'd jumped into a swimming pool. I had said this out loud and had to briefly explain through chattering teeth what a swimming pool was.

We'd been riding in silence for quite some time, which was unusual because usually I was jabbering away, but right now I was too caught up in concentrating on keeping myself warm to talk.

Dori broke the silence; "Here, Mr. Gandalf? Can't you do something about this deluge?"

Gandalf looked as miserable as the rest of us, "It is raining, master Dwarf. And it will continue to rain until the rain is done! If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard."

"Are there any?" Bilbo piped up and my ears perked, suddenly interested.

"What?" Replied Gandalf.

"Other wizards?" Bilbo sped up his horse a little to ride beside Gandalf, and I did the same, involuntarily and without even realising I ended up riding next to Fili. But my head was turned the other way, so I didn't even notice.

"There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Saruman, The White. Then there are two blue wizards," He then paused, "Do you know, I've quite forgotten their names."

"And the fifth?" Continued Bilbo.

"Well, that would be Radagast, The Brown."

"Is he a great wizard or is he… More like you?"

I hooted a laugh at Bilbo then, who just shot me a confused look, obviously he didn't realise what he's said.

"I think he's a very great wizard, in his own way. He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forestlands to the East, and a good thing too, for always evil will look to find a foothold in this world."

I was about to ask what sort of evil there could be here, bearing in mind this place is so beautiful, but I was cut off by a voice to my right.

"Are you cold?"

I turned and nearly jumped from my horse to find Fili there, looking at me with concern from under his hood.

I choked to find words, "No, I-I'm fine." I replied through chattering teeth, visibly shivering.

Fili frowned, "Are you lying to me?" He seemed a little annoyed now.

I sighed, "I s-suppose I'm a little col-"

I didn't get a chance to finish for I was cut off when in one swift movement Fili pulled off his own cloak and wordlessly leaned over and wrapped it round me.

"It should keep you dry, at least."

I blinked at him, genuinely astonished, "Thank you." I mustered, pulling the material tighter round me.

I saw Fili give me a small smile, but I was too caught up in indulging myself in the cloaks smell of wood, smoke and grass to send one back.

The rain had finally let up after three days straight. Even in the nights it had rained, and I had found myself being squeezed between Bombur and Bofur to warmth both nights.

But now the sun was shining once again, and I was back to chewing Dwarves ears off. Today's victim was Ori, but the adorable bowl cut didn't seem to mind in the slightest. I was telling him about art back in my world, after I had spotted him drawing the conversation had blossomed into a comparison of art. I was in the middle of telling him how I did art GCSE when Thorin stopped everyone, announcing we were stopping for the night. I looked around and instantly spotted a rundown farm house, and when I say run down I mean it was totally ruined.

Frowning I clumsily dismounted my horse.

"Fili, Kili look after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them." Thorin exclaimed, striding towards Gandalf who was already at the farm house, surveying the area. I scuttled over to them, about to protest about staying here when Gandalf spoke.

"A farmer and his family used to live here."

Thorin didn't seem to be listening to the wizard and continued to tell people what to do.

"I don't like it here." I shuffled around the skeletal building, trying to work out why it was in this state. At first I'd thought it was fire damage, but on closer inspection there was nothing burnt in sight. Maybe the owners and left and the building had slipped into decay…?

"I think it would be wiser to move on. We could make for the hidden valley." Gandalf turned to face Thorin, but not without shooting me a worried glance regarding my words.

"I've told you already." Grunted Thorin, "I will not go near that place."

"Why not? The Elves could help us, we could get food, rest, advice."

Elves? Instantly an image of Dobby the house elf popped into my mind and I smiled to myself.

"I do not need their advice." At this I rolled my eyes and began pottering about the farm house, putting things their right way up and so on. Why? Because I have OCD that's why.

Balin had previously explained the issues with the Elves, and although Thorin's grudge seemed relatively understandable, he was clearly blinded by his own pride.

Thorin began to recount what the Elves had done, and their bicker seemed to escalate because soon Gandalf even raised his voice. You know shits going down when Gandalf gets pissed off.

"You are neither of them." He referred to Thorin's father and grandfather, "I did not give you that map and key for you to hold onto the past."

"I did not know it was yours to keep."

With that Gandalf strode past Thorin with a noise of frustration. I saw the wizard make towards his horse.

"W-Wait! Where're you going?" I called, but Gandalf seemed to be talking to a rather frazzled looking Bilbo, he then mounted his horse and sped off.

I just stood there gaping while Thorin continued to make orders.

Dinner was rather awkwardly silent, and I was still silently fuming at Thorin for casting away Gandalf like that. The man was a wizard, if anyone would be able to keep us safe it would be him! Silly Thorin.

A little while ago Bilbo had been sent to give Fili and Kili their dinner, but he'd been awhile and I was beginning to grow concerned. I was about to voice said concern when the two brothers came flying out of the woodland and back towards the camp.

"Trolls!" Kili panted when they reached us, "Ponies! Bilbo! Trolls!"

I gaped at them and Thorin voiced what we were all thinking, "Trolls?!" He advanced towards the brothers.

"We were watching the ponies, but trolls took them." Replied Fili, glancing briefly at me.

"And Bilbo?" I piped, jumping up from my seat besides Ori, "Where's Bilbo?!"

"We sent our Burglar to go steal them back." Replied Kili, finally catching his breath.

My eyes bulged and I went to make a run towards the forest but someone grabbed the back of my hoodie and pulled me back. I landed with a yelp and a thud against someone's chest.

"You stay here." I heard Fili growl in my ear before pushing me into the centre of the camp.

"You've got to be joking!" I yelled, trying to make a break for it again, but this time Thorin stopped me.

"Fili's right, stay here. Trolls are particularly partial to woman flesh, you won't stand a chance." He replied bluntly.

I gaped at them all, watching them as they hastily collected their weapons and headed back into the forest to help Bilbo. I saw Fili shoot me a glance over his shoulder before disappearing.

To my credit I waited a long time for the companies return, so long in fact that the sky was actually beginning to brighten ever so slightly. Out of habit I glanced down at my watch, and then remembered it was broke.

I sighed, it was probably about five in the morning now, but I was far from tired. I was pacing up and down the camp nervously. I had tidied a lot of the stuff away, and in the process I'd found a spare knife which I held tightly in my right hand, yanno, for protection.

I can't remember what exactly made me do it, but I'd had enough, and my gut was telling me more than ever that something bad was going on. So without thinking I turned on my heel and sprinted into the forest, tripping over my own feet as I went.

It was surprisingly easy to find the Trolls, they weren't exactly a quiet bunch, and when I grew near I gagged at the stench that seemed to swell through the trees.

It was then that I noticed the Dwarves, and I nearly laughed at half of the company as they were tied up in sacks up to their necks. They looked like little slugs. But I nearly cried out when I noticed the other half being tuned over a fire on a spit.

The trolls were, needless to say, huge. And for a split second I actually considered running away and hiding, but then I realised that if I did they would most likely all die. I shuffled around my position behind a thick tree trunk trying to figure would what to do, and where to start. Every so often I would steal a glance at poor Bilbo, who looked like he was about to wet himself, he looked so scared.

It wasn't until one of the trolls grabbed Bombur and dangled him above his open mouth that I finally acted. All I could think about was Bombur's wife and children and before I realised what I was doing I was running towards the huge hungry troll.

"Leave my Bombom alone!" I screamed, stabbing my puny knife into the troll's leg.

The troll let out a cry and instantly dropped Bombur, who landed on the forest floor with a hard thud. Quickly, I made a grab for the knife again, trying to pull it out the beasts leg to have another poke at it, but I couldn't, it was definitely wedged in there. I screamed when the troll lunged for me, darting out the way just before its thick, smelly fingers got to me.

"Shit!" I screamed as I dodged another troll by the skin of my teeth. Suddenly realising that I definitely should have thought this through.

"Olivia!" I heard someone yell, and I shot a glance over to the company in sacks to find Fili staring at me in absolutely horror. I didn't have time to dwell on this though for I was too busy trying not to be eaten.

"I thought I smelt a woman!" Exclaimed one of the trolls, making another grab for me.

"I'm not a woman!" I shrieked, and then suddenly everything went topsy-turvy and the world spun. I screamed as loud as I could as I was dangled by my right leg in from of one of the trolls. Instantly blood rushed to my head and my brain spun, a wave of nausea hit me like a brick wall as I was hung helplessly.

In the back ground I could hear the cries and screams from the rest of the company.

"If you not a woman, what are you?" The troll that was holding me blundered.

"She sure smells like a woman." Commented another, just as I heard one of the Dwarves roar 'Put her down, I'll kill you!' with so much ferocity.

Was that Fili?

"Clearly you are mistaken." I commented back, but screamed again as I was then dangled over the trolls open mouth.

"Oi! Don't eat all of her, I want some!"

"Hurry up, we haven't got all night! Dawn ain't far away and I don't fancy being turned to stone."

I let out a loud sop.

"Wait, wait, you're making a terrible mistake!" Called Bilbo suddenly, catching the attention of all the trolls.

"You can't reason with them, they're halfwits!" Cried Dori.

"Halfwits? What does that make us?" Replied Bofur.

Bilbo shuffled in his sack as the trolls waited expectantly for an answer, my eyes were watching Bilbo pleadingly.

"I mean… Erm… With the seasoning." My eyebrows shot up.

"Bilbo!" I cried, "Don't inspire them!"

"What about the seasoning?" The one who was holding me asked, eyeing me up and down. I let out another sob, still dangling, but no longer over his open mouth.

"Well, have you smelt her?"

"Bilbo!" I cried again, and I began to wriggle around, asking myself 'why me' over and over again.

"You're going to need a strong bit of seasoning to cover that up!" Bilbo continued, more confidently this time.

"What would you know about cooking a woman?" Replied another troll, poking me with its large, smelly finger. I whimpered.

"Shut up." Hissed the troll who was holding me, "Let the flurgerburbur-hobbit talk."

"W-Well, the secret to cooking woman is… erm…" Take your time Bilbo, I'm only hanging around here!

"Yes? Come on."

"It's uh…"

"Tell us the secret!" Cried one of the trolls.

"Y-yes, I'm telling you. The secret is… to… skin them first!"

At this the blood drained from my face and instantly the Dwarves began an uproar, and I couldn't help but notice Fili who was yelling at Bilbo in a langue I didn't understand and squirming and kicking out violently, more so than the others and wiggling his way over to the hobbit, a menacing look on his face.

"Tom, get me my fileting knife." Growled the troll who was holding me, but the other troll had other ideas and made to grab me.

"What a loud of rubbish," He tore me from the first trolls grasp and dangled me by the hood of my hoodie, suddenly the world righted itself violently and I was positioned with my back to the Dwarves, "I've eaten plenty with their skins on! Nice and crunchy!" He opened his mouth and I let out another ear piercing scream, the troll even flinched.

"No don't!" Bilbo cried again and the troll stopped, closing his mouth again, "She's infected!"

"You what?" Spat the troll, literally, he spat.

"She's got worms… They all have!"

I then saw a smudge of grey shuffle through the bushes behind the trolls and it ever more lightening of the sky. It then clicked.

"He's right!" I cried out desperately, despite the Dwarves protests behind me, "We're all riddled with parasites!" I held tightly onto my collar as it chocked me, my legs swinging and kicking.

"You're a parasite!" I heard Kili yell and I rolled my eyes.

The troll who was holding me looked visibly unsure, his stupid bulging eyes rolling from one Dwarf to another in concern. Suddenly, all the Dwarves changed their tune and started yelling about how they did indeed have parasites.

"I have parasites as big as my arm!" Cried Kili's voice.

"Olivia has the biggest parasites, don't eat her whatever you do!"

At this I tried to swing round but I couldn't quite manage it. But I knew that voice was Fili's.

"The dawn will take you all!"

Suddenly Gandalf came into view from behind a great rock, capturing everyone's attention.

"Who's that?" Asked the first troll, obviously unfazed by Gandalf's dramatic entry.

"No idea." Replied the one holding me.

"Can we eat him too?"

Without another word Gandalf brought his staff down upon the rock, cracking it in two. Through the gap the light from the sunrise came spilling through, and before my eyes and with a final squirm the trolls turned to stone. Unfortunately the troll who was holding me failed to let me go and I continued to dangle helplessly in its grasp.

"Help!"


	8. Azyung

I can't run. Oh my God I think this is how I'm going to die, not in the jaws of a warg but instead by running. I'm going to have death by running imprinted onto my tomb stone!

The past few minutes had been a total whirlwind. One moment everyone was pottering around the troll cave and the next a warg had jumped out, the ponies were gone and the old bird poo man (who was later formally identified as Radagast the Brown) had volunteered to be used as bait to lead the pack of wargs away while we escaped on foot.

Perfect plan.

So that's how I ended up here, running at full speed besides Ori, surprisingly in the centre of the company. I was feeling rather pleased with myself for keeping up so well when we stopped behind a large rock while Radagast and the wargs changed direction. We all hid, and that's when I noticed someone was missing.

"Where's Bilbo?" I hissed in Thorin's direction, my eyes wide with alarm and dread creeping up my spine. The Dwarf turned to look at me, looking confused, but then his eyes drifted behind me. I turned also and the blood from my face drained when I saw a certain Hobbit crouched behind a different rock, a hundred (or maybe two hundred) metres away from us, obviously unable to keep up.

"Olivia, don't!" I heard someone shout but it was too late. I was overcome by guilt and without thinking or looking I sprinted as fast as I could towards Bilbo. I felt someone reach out to grab me but I slipped from their grip and continued into the open plains.

My thighs were burning, my lungs were on fire and my head pounded as I made my way towards Bilbo who was watching me with pure terror.

When I reached him I pulled him into me, unable to speak from being too out of breath.

What am I doing? I've been stupid before but this will surely kill me.

I chanced a glance over towards the other rock where the rest of the company was. They were all watching me with vivid horror on their faces. All except one: Fili. He looked close to murder, he looked furious as his eyes bore into me and his teeth gritted. He stood with his shoulders squared and fists clenched.

I gulped, knowing that if I somehow survived this predicament he was surely going to kill me. But why?

I was torn from my thoughts when something wet dropped on my shoulder, and instantly I knew something was above us. I glanced down at Bilbo who was too rooted to the spot with terror to notice anything was wrong.

"Bilbo," I whispered, watching him to make sure he didn't look up and panic. Thankfully he didn't, he didn't even move. "I need you to do me a favour." I tried my hardest not to show evidence that I was close to a break down in my voice, knowing that death would soon come to me. But not to Bilbo, if I could help it.

Again the Hobbit didn't reply, and I took a deep breath. "On my signal I want you to run back towards the rest of the company, got that?" Bilbo open and closed his mouth a few times like a gold fish, but then nodded. I pulled him towards me, planting a kiss on the top of his fluffy head before pushing away from the rock, bolting away from Bilbo.

Instantly, I heard a roar and the commencing thud as the Warg jumped from the rock and began to chase me. I dared to glance round, spotting Bilbo looking horrified at my actions.

"Go! Now Bilbo, go!"

I didn't have time to check if the Hobbit had kept his word and ran, instead I turned back around and without realising I unsheathed my sword. I could feel the Warg hot breath on my neck and the snap of its jaws behind me as it made to grab me, but I turned a sudden, sharp right. I skidded slightly but kept my balance and kept running. I didn't glance back round to see how far behind me the warg now was, I knew I'd gained some ground but I also knew it wouldn't be long before the beast caught back up. But surprisingly, although I had tears in my eyes distorting my vision, I wasn't afraid.

Death was inevitable sure. But I should be dead anyway, and this way I wouldn't be cheating my family. My family believed me to be dead and I wasn't, I was 'healthy' and alive in another world. My family was suffering and I was fine, and that killed me inside with guilt. But this way I wouldn't be lying to them anymore, this way I would be free.

Once again I felt the Wargs breath on my neck and in one swift movement, without even realising what I was doing I spun round, my sword spinning through the air with me. There was a loud howl of pain and I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the deathly blow. But I just stood there, and nothing came.

Something caught in my throat and I sobbed when I heard a hoarse moan. Opening my eyes I chocked on the sight before me. There on the ground was the Warg. Somehow I had caught its throat with the tip of my sword as I'd spun round and there it was, choking on its own blood on the ground. I let out another sob and raised a shaking hand to my mouth at the gruesome sight.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled through sobs, my bottom lip shaking. I looked round for help, but there was nothing, no one around. I sniffed and turned my attention back to the suffering animal. I'd never killed anything before, even when driving back home I'd never run anything over. I'd never killed a spider or a wasp, I'd always get angry when people did. And now here I was, watching over a creature that was bleeding to death.

Do I put it out its misery?

I wiped away a tear and dared to take a step closer, all the time keeping my ears pricked for danger. It felt like all my senses were on fire. The animal before me continued to squirm, blood oozing from its throat. I knew I should have ended its pain there and then but I couldn't bring myself to raise my sword to it. I hadn't meant to kill it, I didn't mean to hurt it. I let out another sop and stumbled a bit as my legs began to shake. The world began to close in on itself as I was suddenly overcome by a wave of fatigue.

I almost missed the sound of a horn in the distance as I went tumbling to the ground, unconscious.

It was the sound of murmuring that I noticed first, although for a while it was inaudible. My mind was thick and groggy, and I felt surprisingly unrested. Like I'd woken up from an unfulfilling sleep.

Slowly, my brain began working again, and I was soon able to decipher what was being said. Slowly processing the words, although not a lot of it made sense. My brain searched for answers as I started to recognise the voices.

Thorin was there, no mistaking that, but he was talking to someone. Was that Balin? And there was someone else… Was that?

Fili.

"Clearly she's either extremely brave or extremely stupid." I heard Thorin mutter, if I wasn't so vegetated right now I would have said something, but I was still trying to get myself working again.

"I believe it is bravery." Replied Balin, "I believe her presence in this company is priceless."

"For the love of Mahal!" I heard Fili hiss, maybe a little louder than he'd originally intended for he quickly cleared his throat and dropped his voice, "I will not let you use my azyung as a human shield."

His what now?

"She is not a human shield, but she clearly has courage, even more than some of us. She is clearly a valuable asset to this company." Balin added, quieter still.

"How so? Because she keeps risking her own life for us? If not for a human shield then why do you want her to continue on this quest so desperately?" Fili hissed again, "She is not disposable. She is not orc fodder, she is not here to be used as a ploy on our whims. I do not think she should continue on this quest."

"Over my dead body." I mustered, finally peaking one eye open. It was there I noticed Kili was standing there too, looking extremely uneasy.

I tried to move then, but Fili quickly brushed past Thorin and came to sit beside me.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, taking my hand in his. I ignored him though, rather rudely but never mind, and instead went about propping myself up against the bed. Why and how was I in a bed?

"Where am I?" I asked, suddenly aware of my spectacular surroundings. I was in what looked like a bed room, completely coated in white linins, silks and marbles.

"Rivendell." Thorin replied gruffly.

Because I know what that is.

"How did I get here?"

"Lord Elrond and his kin found you." Fili answered, giving my hand a quick squeeze, "We are in his care for the time being."

"How long?" I asked, acutely aware that the company wanted to get to Erebor as soon as possible.

"The next few weeks." Thorin responded and I nodded.

There was an awkward pause, and I was painfully aware of Fili's eyes on me. So I word vomited, "Is he nice?" I blinked at Thorin who merely grunted almost comically. Comical for me anyway, he looked as if he was about to be sick.

I snorted, "that nice, eh?"

Thorin actually looked like he was about to chunder when the bedroom door opened, and in floated a tall, chestnut haired man. His long hair pulled beautifully out of his face and his magnificent satin robes brushed along the floor. He smiled at me when he saw me.

"Ah, my dear, you are finally awake."

Finally? What does he mean by finally?

I went to say something when a little curly haired someone came waddling in behind the tall man.

"Bilbo!" I cried, grinning widely at him, the Hobbit returned my expression and came to join me by the side of my bed. I leaned over to embrace him, totally unaware that on sight of Bilbo he had taken his hand from mine. "I'm so glad you're okay!" I cheered into his shoulder and I heard him chuckle.

"Me? I'm so glad you're alright! You saved me."

I pulled away, still grinning, "Never mind that, sweetie." I wafted his words away.

"Miss. Netherwood," The man's voice pulled me from Bilbo and I once again sat up in my bed, suddenly feeling surprisingly perky, "I am Lord Elrond, it is a pleasure to meet you. I have heard much about your endeavours, especially your most recent event. I suggest you rest for the next few days, regain your strength."

"Why?" I asked as politely as I could, "I feel fantastic." Okay, maybe that was a fib, I was gagging for a cup of tea and a cuddle but nothing I couldn't deal with.

The man gave me a sincere nod and a small smile, "If that is what you wish. We have taken your belongs to be cleaned and repaired, I believe your shoes have seen better days. In the mean time I offer you and your companions my home."

I grinned at him, "Thank you, that's very kind." So he's an Elf? Far from Dobby that's for sure.

He gave inclined his head to me, and with a final smile he left. Thorin and Balin followed a few paces behind him.

Fili then cleared his throat, "I shall leave you and your azyung alone." With that he abruptly stood.

I frowned, "My what?"

"I'm glad you are feeling better." He pointedly ignored my question and left, openly ignoring Bilbo who offered him a smile.

"What's his problem?" I whispered to Bilbo when I heard him shut the door.

Bilbo shrugged, pulling himself onto the bed next to me. "He's been acting off since we arrived. At first I thought it was because, you know, the _Elves." _I didn't know, but I nodded anyway, "But it was the constant pacing and the constant detraction that made me think otherwise. And then I saw him flirting with a few of the Elf maids, so it mustn't have anything to do with them."

At his words something that felt a lot like a knife went straight through my chest and my breathing became shallower. But Bilbo didn't seem to notice for he continued, "But then he kept talking about you, all the time. So I thought maybe it was because he was worried about you."

Bilbo looked up at me then, to find me frowning deeply.

"What is it?" He asked, suddenly sounding worried that he may have upset me.

"Why would he be flirting with Elves if he was worried about me?" I asked, my frown sticking.

Bilbo shrugged again, "I don't know. The women are beautiful here, and maybe he just cares about you."

For some reason this response didn't satisfy me, and I felt as though I was going to be sick. I sniffed.

"I think I'm going to have a bath." I replied, abruptly swinging my legs over the side of the bed. Bilbo blinked at me, visibly confused. I then turned to him, my expression softer, "Sorry." I forced a laugh, "But I stink." And with that I walked towards my holdall that was at the end of my bed. I was thankful to find my wash bag was still neatly tucked away in the corner of it, still endowed with all the necessities. I then sauntered into an adjacent room, heavenly grateful to find the bathroom immediately, and even more thankful to find it was kitted out with a clean bath and hot water. I dropped my wash bag onto the sink counter, and began to pull out everything I needed from my shampoo to my razor, to my conditioner to my makeup and tweezers.

If Fili liked pretty women then I'll give him a pretty woman.

_Hello again m'lovelies _

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	9. Flowers

I felt fantastic. Amazing. Wonderful. Brilliant.

_Feminine_.

I'd totally forgot how fantastic it was to be a girl. I felt clean, neat, and fresh. Words could not describe how overjoyed I was to be finally feeling like a woman again.

My legs were smooth, my pits were smooth and I'd redone my bikini line because you know, even though it wasn't visible, just knowing I was in check made me feel sexier.

And that's why I was sashaying around Rivendell, in a beautiful dress that I'd found on the end of my bed after my bath. I'd gone back to my usual routine of contemplating life whilst in the tub, today's topic being Fili. I wasn't stupid, I knew what a crush was and although as painful as it may be I've come to terms with the fact I have a crush on that blonde hunk of a Dwarf. I don't know how, why, or when it happened but it did. And isn't that how crushes work? They sneak up on you when you least expect it, I'd always fancied him, I'd always been attracted to him, he was definitely good looking. And somehow his personality had wormed his way in there too, and my innocent attraction had turned into a crush. Urgh, I feel like a twelve year old again.

I continued floating around Rivendell, going nowhere in particular, simply enjoying the amazing view and scenery.

"Oh, Olivia!"

I jumped and turned round to find Dori standing before me, Ori in tow.

I squealed with excitement and pulled the pair of them into a tight hug, kissing both of their temples, "I missed you!" I cried out, not letting go of them.

"I'm glad you're alright." Ori spluttered, once I'd let him go. I noticed he was avoiding eye contact with me and I grinned. I probably looked totally different. Sure I was no Dwarven woman (Kili had filled me in with the ins and outs of Dwarfish culture, including the women's _beards_) but I no longer donned my birds nest of a hair style, I was no longer covered in mud and I no longer bore my slob clothes. I, in fact, had brushed my hair all out, and it now hung in shining blonde waves down and just about over my chest (I nearly cried with joy at how much it had grown in the past months) and although it was no different from how I usually wore it at home, it now seemed a thousand times better, simply because it had been a matte mess for so long. The dress I wore was a pale green, and flowed beautifully down to my feet in waves of satin and lined with gold. It was tight around the bust, and just under my bust was a thin strip of gold and then the fabric loosened. It was fitted also to my elbows, and then it opened out after another thin line of gold. The neckline was modest yet open, and being the fairly busty girl I was, it showed a classy yet visible amount of cleavage.

I smirked slightly, "Do I look different?" I asked him, giving the slightly socially awkward Dwarf a quick twirl.

"You look like a girl." Ori replied, still avoiding eye contact. His words however earned him a sharp elbow from his brother.

"What he means, miss, is that although you always look like a girl, you, erm, well we've never seen you in a dress before."

At this I laughed, dear Dori had stumbled over his words and had hardly saved himself or his brother. Either way I was not offended.

"Thank you." I giggled, pulling them into another hug.

When I pulled away they were both grinning at me.

"You don't happen to know where I can find some food, do you?" I asked them. My stomach was beginning to rumble.

The brothers nodded happily, "Yes, in fact we were on our way to get some lunch ourselves."

I smiled at them thankfully and let them lead on. While we walked we happily chatted between ourselves, the brother taking it upon themselves to tell me all about Rivendell and their adventures within the walls so far. Most of them I disapproved of as they involved breaching what I considered to be manners, but I didn't say anything and instead just laughed.

Soon enough we appeared to have reached our destination for we arrived at a room with two tables, both covered in food. Seated on the table furthest from the door was a rather grumpy looking Thorin, Balin, Bilbo, Lord Elrond, Gandalf and Bilbo. I guessed this to be the 'adult table' for the other table consisted of everyone else, aka 'the children'.

I smirked at the sight of Bofur balancing lettuce leaves on Bifur's head, the latter Dwarf being totally unaware of the formers actions.

"Don't do that." I scowled with a laugh, striding over to the pair and swatting Bofur away playfully.

"Olivia!" Everyone suddenly roared, noticing my presence. I then shrieked when I was suddenly bombarded with a flurry of Dwarves, all embracing me and squeezing me, many of the clambering inelegantly over the table to reach me.

"Look at you in a dress!" Exclaimed Kili grabbing me by my waist and spinning me round.

"I know, I'm actually a girl!" I replied jestingly, planting a kiss on his forehead with a dramatic 'mwah!' sound.

I couldn't help the absence of a certain blondes embrace as I was pulled to sit down in between Kili and Ori. I didn't dwell on it though, and instead instantly began piling my plate with greenery.

"You actually eat this stuff?" I heard Ori ask from my right as I stuffed my face with tomatoes.

"God yeah." I replied around the tomatoes innards, "I love tomatoes." I popped another into my mouth before noticing the horror on Ori's face. I smiled at him, before verbally adding, "Om nom nom nom." For a moment the young Dwarf didn't know what to do, but I heard Kili hoot a laugh from my left, before starting his own hullabaloo of 'om nom noms'. Soon enough the entire table was shoving food into their mouths and chorusing their own stupid noises. I just laughed hysterically at them, not entirely sure why they found what I said so funny themselves. I suppose I was laughing _**at**_ them rather than _**with**_ them.

It was then, while I was looking up and down table with amusement, that I noticed Fili watching me, a small smile on his lips from where he sat diagonally to Kili. I wasn't actually sure if he was aware I'd noticed him looking at me at first, because his eyes were trailing up and down my body that was visible from over the table. But when his eyes locked on mine his smile grew slightly. Suddenly my face felt hot, and I looked away a little annoyed. I was indeed annoyed at him and his mixed signals. I didn't really understand what he was doing.

I then remembered something.

"Hey, Kili." I elbowed the Dwarf, instantly gaining his attention.

"Hmm?"

I could still feel Fili's gaze on me, and for a moment I paused, rethinking my actions.

"Never mind." I turned away quickly and nudged Ori instead.

"Yes?" The bowl cut Dwarf blinked at me.

I beckoned him closer, and put my lips close to his abnormally large ear.

"What does 'azyung' mean?" I asked him before pulling away, watching the Dwarf expectantly.

"I can't say." He replied and I groaned.

"Why?"

"It's Khuzdul. The Dwarven language, we're forbidden to inform anyone outside of our kin of it."

"Can you give me a clue? If I guess it's not wrong, right?" I coaxed, lowering my voice again. I made sure my back was to Fili completely.

Ori seemed to mull this over, watching my pleasing expression.

"Hot or cold? I say something and you say hot or cold if I'm close to the meaning on not, yes?"

Ori thought a little more, "A game?"

"Yes, exactly! I only want to know this one word I promise."

Ori frowned, but eventually nodded and I grinned.

"Okay, erm…" I thought hard, thinking about how Fili referred Bilbo to it, as 'my azyung'. "Does it mean friend?" I asked finally.

Ori pulled a face, "Warm-ish."

"Brother?"

"Cold."

I frowned, "Is it like friend?"

"Hotter than."

Ori was obviously bad at this game, seemingly not grasping the rules entirely. But it was good for me I suppose.

"More than a friend…" I thought aloud, "Boyfriend?" I snorted.

"As in lover?" Ori clarified and I nodded. "Warmer." I frowned.

"So it's to do with love…?" I trailed off, thinking out loud and not excepting Ori to comment but to my surprise he did.

"Hot."

I blinked at him, "Love?"

"Hot, hot."

"It means love?"

"Hot, hot, hot."

I turned back round to Fili then, my mouth open slightly. He was still watching me, a blank expression on his face. Why had he said Bilbo was my love?

And why had he called me his love?

.

.

.

It had been over a week since I'd discovered what azyung means. And since then I'd pointedly avoided Fili. If I turned a corner and saw him I'd turn back round. If I went for lunch and he was there I'd sit as far away from him as possible and never look at him, even if I knew he was looking at me. Sure it was difficult, very difficult, and hurt a surprisingly more than I'd originally imagined. But I didn't know what to do, or say to him. Mixed signals much? Telling Thorin I was his love and then apparently flirting with some Elves. The only thing I could think of is that he just told Thorin I was his love in an attempt to get me out of the company, but I couldn't imagine why he'd do that. Did he hate me so much he didn't want me there? Why did he give me his knife and coat if he didn't like me? He did look angry when I'd run to help Bilbo nearly two weeks ago, maybe that's why. But that wouldn't explain why he got angry in the first place, nothing would. I didn't understand because none of his actions made sense, none of his actions seemed to have reasoning.

Many times I'd thought about confronting him but what would I saw? Ask him to explain himself? God how embarrassing. I've been in that situation before and I wasn't willing to do it again. No way would I ever let a guy control my emotions, never would I expose myself like that to someone. I wasn't ready to fall victim to my own weaknesses.

Somehow I had imagined I'd just simply ignore Fili forever, but on the two week anniversary of our stay at Rivendell that idea crumbled and burned.

That morning Bilbo and I had taken a stroll through one of the Elven gardens, as we usually did, but this time we had absentmindedly picked a variety of sweet smelling flowers and I had the brilliant idea of putting them in my hair. So Bilbo and I set to work weaving and plaiting them into my hair, thinking absolutely nothing of it. Admittedly Bilbo and I were extremely close, but mainly because we felt the need to stick together and had therefore gravitated towards each other, subsequently forming a rather strong friendship and nothing more.

Also, although I would never tell anyone. I missed having female friends, and Bilbo was kind of like a girl. Liking his flowers, and his pretty smells and everything cute.

Bilbo had retired early that night, and had left me to wander towards where I knew the rest of the company had gathered on a nearby outlook.

It wasn't until I had plopped down beside Ori that Fili finally spoke to me. At first I was too taken aback by his sudden acknowledgment of me to process what he said.

"So it's official then." His voice broke the comfortable silence with a crack.

I frowned questioningly and turned to face him, "Good evening to you too. And what?" I asked, not unpleasantly but rather stiffly.

"You and Bilbo." Came his reply from the lounger next to his brother, his pipe hovering a few inches from his lips.

I continued my questioningly expression, and blinked at him, "What?" I repeated.

"Your courtship." He almost spat.

My eyebrows flew into my hairline then and I hooted a laugh, "What? Where did you get that from?"

"Your hair." Came his monotone reply, and I quickly realised that he wasn't joking and I choked up my laughter.

"What about it?"

Fili suddenly stood and I nearly jumped in surprise.

"Careful, Fili." I heard Thorin growl from the corner.

Fili didn't say anything, I watched at his jaw clenched and he rolled his shoulders back to square them. At this I scrambled to my feet, now looking with his in a mixture of concern and confusion.

"And the flowers." Fili continued through gritted teeth. Kili then got to his feet and placed a large hand on his brother's shoulder to pull him back, but Fili just shrugged him off and took a step closer. "Where is he?" He growled, his voice.

"Who?"

"Bilbo."

"Why?"

"I want to speak with him." By the look on Fili's face he didn't want to do much speaking. The Dwarf stretch out his fingers before clenching them back up.

"What going on?" I forced a fake laugh, looking around at the rest of the company for some help. But by the looks on their faces I wasn't going to get any. I turned back to the stewing Dwarf, "Fili what's going on?" I tried to keep my voice as smooth as possible to not provoke him, but his expression didn't falter and he continued glower fiercely.

But he didn't reply, instead he gave me one last glare and stormed away, his heavy boots thumbing the marble floors.

"Fili!" Kili yelled before chasing after his brother.

I just gaped at where Fili once stood, "Can someone please tell me what just happened?" I turned to the company after a few long moments, "I feel like I'm being kept in the dark."

"You clearly have more guts than brains." Thorin's drawling voice broke the long silence that pursued after my question and I turned to him.

I was actually surprised that he was the one who'd spoken, I was expecting Balin or Dori to reply.

"What?"

Thorin didn't looked at me when he replied and when he did so he seemed exasperated, "You mean to tell me you don't know his infatuation with you?"

I choked on my own words, "N-No… What?"

Thorin finally looked at me then, and with an eye roll he replied, "Go."

I did as I was told, quickly turning on my heel and scuttling from the overlook, heading into the direction in which Fili stormed off in. All the while praying that he hadn't found Bilbo.

.

.

.

_Hmmmm, I have the next chapter for this written, but I think I'm going to change it, simply because I'm a pain in the arse heheheh_

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	10. Token

I was thankful that I quickly found Fili, to be honest it was hardly difficult bearing in mind the small trail of destruction he was leaving in his wake. I tried to put things back as I went, silverware and china littered the floor and the noise of further chaos echoed ahead.

When I eventually caught up with him he was sitting on a stone windowsill, his head in his large hands and his elbows resting on his knees. Kili sat beside him, his hand on his back. The pair were disturbingly silent.

Kili noticed me first and when he did I sent him an apologising look, and he gently nudged his brother. Fili raised his head and looked at Kili, then followed his eyes to me, his expression was painfully blank.

"Hi." I tried, but I got nothing in return. In fact Fili turned away again to stare blankly in front of him. Something in my chest pined for him and I took a deep breath. "Kili, would you mind giving us a moment?"

Kili shot his brother a look, and seemingly he was asking something for Fili just nodded. The brunette slowly stood and walked towards me, as he walked past he sent me a glare. I wasn't sure if I deserved the look, but I understood why he sent it.

When I was sure the younger Dwarf was far enough away I hesitantly shuffled towards Fili. My stomach was filled to brim with butterflies, and something had lodged in my throat.

I sat beside him, a good foot between us and for a long few minutes I shared glances between my sweating hands in my lap and Fili, who was still staring ahead of him.

Finally I mustered up the strength to speak, "Fili…" I trailed off, fighting for the words. Fili continued to stare ahead. I went to finally string a sentence together but he cut me off.

His voice was deeper than usual, and his words sent a shiver down my spine and knotted my stomach. "I don't need your pity."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "Fili, Bilbo and I aren't courting."

I saw Fili frown, but he still didn't look at me. I didn't know why I was so nervous.

"We were in the garden, and it was my idea to pick some flowers and put them in my hair. I thought they were pretty, that was all."

"You look just as pretty without them."

I hid my smile, slightly embarrassed at his words.

"How can you tell? You won't look at me."

I watched at his shoulders dropped slightly and he finally leant back, positioning himself into the corner of the windowsill and looking straight at me. His expression was still blank, but at least I could see his beautiful eyes. His beautiful greeny, blue eyes were filled with sadness as he quickly looked me up and down before averting his gaze to the right of me to stare out into the garden.

"Don't sulk." I teased, mirroring his position in to adjacent corner, pulling my legs up with me.

"I'm not sulking." Came his monotone reply.

"Thorin told me, by the way."

Fili looked at me then, "Did he now?"

"Yes he did. Why didn't you say anything instead of stewing in silence?"

"Why did I need say anything? You're not a Dwarf, you don't understand."

I rolled my eyes, "I know I'm socially retarded, but I'm not totally inept when it comes to feelings, Fili." Something within me started to swell and I looked at him in the eyes then properly, and suddenly the gravity of the situation hit me like a brick wall. "I know what a crush is."

"Who said anything about a crush?" He asked, furrowing his brow slightly in confusion and I turned into a beetroot then and there.

Awkward.

"What?"

He leant forward then, taking my hands into his freakishly large ones. He was so warm, and I couldn't help but relax into his touch.

"You are my One, Olivia."

I swear to God I almost laughed.

"Okay." I scoffed, and instantly Fili let me go, his face visibly annoyed and somewhat hurt. I instantly felt guilty at my insensitivity. "I'm sorry, it's just…"

"Just what?" He almost spat, and I then realised he must have inherited his heated temper from Thorin. He made a move to get up but I stopped him, reaching out and placing my arm on his bicep.

Instantly my heart thumped loudly at the contact, feeling the warmth of his skin seeping through his clothes and I desperately wanted to be near him.

"It's just you're a Dwarf, and a prince Fili." I almost laughed again at how ridiculous the words were as they left my tongue.

He must have noticed and deciphered the look on my face for his expression softened and he sighed, settling himself back down on the window ledge.

"That bothers you?"

"I don't know, I don't know what that means exactly, but if you think I'm your One then this is serious." I wasn't foolish, I wasn't a bad person, and I wasn't going to take this lightly, nor was I going to abuse it. "You're probably wrong."

He shook his head, "I'm not wrong."

"But I'm not a Dwarf."

"You don't need to be. This is not something I have just made up on decided. I knew it from the moment I saw you that I had to have you as mine."

I sighed and rubbed my eyes, exhausted. Once my eyes were free of my hands they trailed up and down his sturdy form, from big booted feet as they hung lazily over the side of the windowsill, up and over his calves and knees, over his dense thighs, up his robust chest and along his square shoulders, down his solid arms before coming to rest on his thick fingers. Without thinking I reached forward put my hand on his.

I looked up at him, he was staring down at our hands, and I felt him lace our fingers together before raising his gaze back to mine. I couldn't help but smile when I saw the small smirk creep onto his face. I squeezed his hand.

"You believed this even when I looked like a man?" I joked and he snorted.

"Even then."

I smiled at him, but that's when I remembered and I suddenly frowned. "What about those Elf maids?"

"What Elf maids?" He asked, straightening up and inching closer to me.

"Bilbo said he saw you flirting with some Elf maids."

Fili frowned then, his expression becoming thoughtful, "I have only spoken to a she-Elf here once and that was about you."

"Me?"

Fili's smirk reappeared, "She found it funny when I asked how to court a human female."

I spluttered and gaped at him, finding his words surprisingly forward, "Really?" I scoffed. Why am I so socially awkward?

Fili didn't reply, instead he reached into the pocked of his slacks and pulled out a large silver clasp, although in his hand it looked relatively average in size, but once placed in mine it was easily a little under half the size of my thumb. I gave the blonde a questioning glance and he chuckled taking it back off me and reaching forward to pull a loose strand of my hair towards him. Patiently and rather awkwardly I watched him make quick work of a medium sized plait, once again I found myself surprised by how gentle he was. Once at the end of the braid he used the clasp to finish it off, before letting it drop free.

I instantly went to pick it up, examining the peculiar markings engraved into it. It was decorated in a sequence of vertical interlocking squares, and although it was a little heavy it was handmade and beautifully crafted from twinkling silver.

"It's a token."

"A token?" I asked looking back up at him, I didn't even care that he was now so close that he was preaching my personal bubble.

He nodded, "A promise of my feelings, a promise that once we reclaim Erebor I wish to properly court you."

I literally melted, and I couldn't help but die of embarrassment a little inside. Although I couldn't help but hear alarm bells ringing in my head, and suddenly my stomach felt as though it was made from lead.

"You genuinely want to court me?" I was totally surprised that this was happening, and although my heart was beating unusually quickly, the alarm bells in my head grew louder and louder.

"Yes." He replied, giving me a small smile and with his free hand he reached up, trailing the back of his fingers from my temple to my chin. It wasn't until I saw his gaze drop from my eyes to my lips that my bubble popped, instantly I straighten up and Fili seemed to get the message for he removed his hands from mine. I wasn't willing to commit myself to him, simply because I did not know what this would mean, I didn't know what being courted by a prince would entail and I didn't know if I was willing to find out. I wasn't ready to say my commitment and then somewhere along the line hurt him. Unfortunately I was a commitaphobe. What happened to my parents caused a devastating effect on me, and despite getting feelings I completely shut them away, no matter how much it hurt I would never act on my emotions. What's the point when it will never last? The idea of commitment totally, and utterly petrified me.

Nearly as much as horses did.

"Will you walk me back to my room? I'm really sleepy." I offered him an olive branch, rubbing my eyes as I did so to support my words. Fili simply nodded, and stood up, offering me his hand as he did so. I took it and let him gently pull me up.

For the first few minutes it was awkward silence, the air was tense and I was aware that I had basically just rejected Fili. Not intentionally of course, I didn't want to lead him on and hurt him.

Although after a while it got so awkward I began to waffle away about nonsense, like I usually did. After a few more minutes the conversation began to flow surprisingly easily on the way back to my room. And I realised that although I hadn't had many conversations with Fili until now, that didn't mean I didn't know him. I'd been around him 24/7 since the beginning of the quest and I hadn't realised that I'd picked up a surprisingly large amount of information about him, which I happened to like, which led me to question how deep my 'crush' on this Dwarf ran. Obviously it wasn't love, but I was fonder of him than I'd originally thought, having known him for a fair amount of time. We'd always been involved in the same conversations, even if it wasn't directly to one another we'd always been around each other. It sort of felt like when you're at a party, and you see someone from across the room and you quite fancy the look of them, and whenever you see them they're doing something that you like, whether that's making someone laugh, or helping someone, and before you even meet them properly you already like them. And then when you finally speak to them you instantly hit it off because you already have a good idea of who they are and what they're like.

That's sort of how I felt in a nutshell, but I'd known Fili for longer than just one night so my feelings were on a much larger scale but that was the sort of thing, and it wasn't just observing his actions towards others from a distance that pleased me, it was the ones he did to me as well. By the time we reached my bedroom door I had realised that he's unlocked a door of emotions I'd kept shut, and I had realised that my feelings for him ran deeper than I'd previously thought.

When we stopped walking Fili instantly took me in his arms, his hands snaking around my waist and pulling our bodies together. Obviously he'd quickly bounced back from my rejection and I, ss if it was second nature, raised my hands and placed them lightly on his shoulders.

"Well until tomorrow." I smiled at him, and he returned it.

"Good night."

"Nun-night." I didn't let him go however, I didn't actually want to give him up. He made no move to let me go either, and instead he placed a small kiss on my temple. Instantly I began to tingle inside, buzzing pleasantly at the contact. Stop it, Olivia, don't let yourself fall for him, it's not right and it will not work.

"Menu zirup men." I heard him murmur before pulling away.

"What does that mean?" I asked, hoping to catch him out.

His eyes twinkled in the dim light, "Can't say."

And with that he winked at me and let me go.

I watched him swagger away, he glanced over his shoulder; his familiar smirk on his lips. He was fully aware of the effect he'd just had on me, it was painfully evident on the bright red that graced my features.

"I'll find out what that means!" I called after him, and I heard his chuckle.

"Good night, miz azyung," He shoot me another amused glance before he rounded the corner.

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_Hmmmm, not sure how I feel about this chapter. I'm really tired and I'm not sure if I effectively got what I meant across. I will elaborate further on in the story but basically there are two ways for dwarves to find their 'ones' (in this story anyway), by falling in love over time, or instantly. But Olivia is too messed up by her family to believe in such things…._

_Bluh_

_Anyway, thank you to all those lovely, amazing people who reviewed! I love hearing what you have to say so please keep telling me what you think!_

_Also thanks to all those who have favourited and followed! Welcome aboard!_

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	11. Broken-Hearted

The next day I didn't _avoid_ Fili per se, I simply didn't seek his companionship, the fact that I actually tried not to seek his companionship was neither here nor there. I know it's harsh, but I felt as though I couldn't be around him, I felt a little awkward… And well, nervous. I'd barely slept the previous night having realised that I could so easily fall for him and I didn't want to, not by conscience choice though. My brain caught whiff of what my heart was plotting and shut the scheme down at the source. I was incapable of allowing myself such emotions and therefore simply didn't.

I hadn't taken out the bead though, I hadn't the heart.

During the day I had very little opportunity to dwell on Fili though, as I was busy drawing with Ori for a good proportion of the day. When late afternoon came we gravitated back to the body of the company, and I silently thanked whatever God there was in the place that Fili wasn't there, neither was Kili, Thorin and Dwalin. So I assumed they were sparring somewhere, as per.

I barely got a chance to sit down before I was suffocated by various Dwarves, however. Each of them eager to talk to me, for some bazar reason.

"Miss Olivia-"

"Oh Liv, look at this!"

"Olivia, what's that you've got there? A drawing? Oh marvellous!"

I frowned, "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Bofur replied maybe a little too quickly, suddenly looking like a deer in the headlights. "Nothing at all. Why would you think there's anything going on? Nothing's going on."

My frown deepened and a hummed in disapproval, but nevertheless I sceptically went along with them all the way up till dinner. Where I, much to my absolute delight, found myself wedge in between Fili and Kili.

For anyone who didn't know these two apparently if you were talking to one of them that actually meant you were talking to both of them. And my God were they a handful.

Both of them would talk at once, both of them jabbering on about the exact same thing at the exact same time, and both of them demanding your undying, entire attention.

My head snapped back and forth between the two, barely able to get food in my mouth in-between moving.

"Are you capable of talking one at a time?" I scoffed, glaring at Kili first and then Fili.

Both of them mumbled some inaudible apology before Kili started again, this time Fili was silent. I relaxed then, able to understand the conversation. Well, I say understand, he was talking about sparring and I was on the verge of nodding off.

Before long the company was beginning to file out of the dining room in small groups, each of them making their way to their usual congregating place. I stood to leave also, but as soon as I did Fili abruptly stood, dropping his fork halfway to his mouth.

"Are you alright?" He asked, peering at me.

"Yes," I yawned, "Although I'm totally drained, just going to head off to bed."

"I'll walk you to your room." Fili offered, making a move to leave also.

"Oh-Oh no it's fine Fili. You stay here, you're still eating."

Fili swatted my words away like a fly, "No matter," Then he leaned in and whispered, "I don't really like the food anyway." He smiled and I let out a quick laugh. He then took my hand and more or less pulled me from the dining hall before I could object.

"Are you okay?" Fili asked again once we'd left the dining hall, heading in the direction of my room.

"Yes." I rep_**lied**_.

"No you're not, tell me." Fili gave me a playful shoulder nudge and smiled at me again.

Urgh, how can I ignore that adorable smile?

"What makes you think something's wrong?" I countered defensively, folding my arms over my chest.

Fili smirked, "Because you've got your thinking face on."

"Aaaand what's wrong with my thinking face? Maybe I'm just thinking, am I not allowed to ruminate?"

"_Ruminate?_" Fili scoffed a laugh, "well someone ate a dictionary."

I rolled my eyes and elbowed him, "Seriously, Fili."

"You only think when there's something bothering you, so go on, cough it up." Fili continued.

The Dwarves are being weird and I hate that I'm actually beginning to enjoy your stupid self.

"Erm, it doesn't matter." Wait, did he say 'I _**only**_ think when something's bothering me'? Is that an insult?

Fili stepped out in front of me then, halting me midstride and blocking my path. He took hold of my crossed hands and pulled them towards him, holding them to his warm, hard chest. "miz azyung," He practically purred.

Goo. I'm actually goo right now.

"Of course it matters, especially to me. If something is bothering you then it is bothering me also."

"Don't give me that look." I scowled, but still unable to muster the willpower to remove my hands from his wonderful chest.

"What look?" He blinked at me innocently.

"You know the look, don't give me those puppy dog eyes."

Fili smirked in response and pulled my hands up to his mouth, placing a soft kiss on the back of each of them while his eyes were glued to me.

BANG! My ovaries exploded.

"Stop it!" I giggled like a twelve year old, yanking my hands away from him as he lent in for another round of kisses. I went to step round him but he quickly blocked me.

"Miz azyung, tell me." His face was serious now and I sighed.

"I'll only tell you if you tell me what you said to me last night in your funny little language."

Was that racist? I think that was racist.

Fili frowned then, but whether or not he did because I was being racist or because I'd caught him out I didn't know.

For a long moment he eyed me up and down, I could pretty much hear the clogs churning in his head.

"Will you repeat it to anyone that you know?" He asked eventually. Oh thank God he didn't think I was being racist.

I blinked at him in surprise. Was he actually going to tell me what he said? I'd only known the Dwarves for a few months but if there was one thing I definitely knew about them it was how secretive they were, even to me they still hid stuff away. So the fact Fili was actually debating telling me this was needless to say… An honour.

"Are you actually going to tell me? Fili, I wasn't being serious, you don't ha-"

"If it will get you to tell me what is bothering you… Yes." Fili pursed his lips and looked me up and down again.

"Won't you get in trouble?"

Fili shrugged, "Maybe, but you are miz azyung, once we are married you will have all right to know my peoples language."

"Fili, I don't want to—wait, what?! Marriage?" I hyperventilated and Fili smirked again.

"Just tell me what is bothering you, please?" He put his hand flat against his chest, over his heart and looked at me seriously once more.

I groaned. I knew how stubborn Fili could be, so I knew he wasn't just going to drop this. "Fine! Urgh!" I then lowered my voice, "The others have been acting… weird with me… all day."

Fili blinked, "O-oh…" He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly appearing not so cool.

"You know why?" I asked him, gathering from his abrupt change of persona he might know what was going on, he looked as though he was covering something.

"N-No." He replied, avoiding eye contact.

"Fili…" I started, "Tell me."

Fili shrugged, composing himself. "Honestly, I don't know. How do you mean funny?"

"I don't know, they've been giving me lots of attention… Like… Like they're coaxing me." Is that a polite way of saying 'they're bum licking me'?

Fili rubbed his eyes, "I'm sorry I don't know why they're doing that."

I rolled my eyes, "You're helpful." I scoffed, annoyed.

"I'm sorry miz azyung." Fili cooed, taking my hands which were once again crossed over my chest and holding them in his for a second time, slowly rubbing his thumbs over my palms. "There's probably nothing to worry about."

I relaxed a bit then, and annoyingly into his touch. "I suppose so." I sighed, looking away from the Dwarf. "Your turn."

Fili smiled, pulling me closer to him slightly and into his personal space. Instantly his wonderful smell washed over me, and I couldn't help but relax further into his touch. The warmth that radiated from him was simply amazing. I was someone who was constantly cold, so being near him was like having my very own walking talking hot water bottle. Being this close to him I could see every detail of his face, every lash and line in his skin. I simply stared at him dumbly, waiting for his words.

"Menu zirup men means you complete me."

I don't know what exactly happened to make me think my next actions were okay, because in hindsight they certainly weren't. I don't know whether it was the foreign language (let's face it, a bloke who can speak another language is sexy hands down), or the small curve of his lips when he spoke, or even his captivating blue eyes that did it. But whatever it was, it caused me to have no control over my body and before I knew it Fili had leaned in closer, so close that our lips were almost brushing one another, and I did the unthinkable and closed the distance, pressing my lips onto his.

His lips were so warm and although slightly rough and weathered he was gentle, keeping the kiss light. It as I who wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled him even closer, and he followed by wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me up against him. My body fizzed and buzzed at the close contact, my heart soaring and my stomach growing hot at the proximity. His hard chest against mine and our hips bones pushed together was just… _swoon._

I felt his mouth open slightly and I mirrored him, letting him deepen the kiss and happily permit him to slide his tongue over my lips.

In my defence, I'm only human. And a girl has needs, needs that this girl (aka me) hasn't had in over a year, so when I quietly moaned and melted against him it was not my fault. Fili certainly didn't seem to mind though, and his kiss began to grow a little bit rougher (not that I'm complaining) and his hands gripped the back of dress almost desperately.

My hands wound themselves into his blonde mane of hair, gently rubbing the back of his scalp and pulling gently on some of the soft threads.

It was weird kissing a guy with a moustache, especially a braided one.

I think it was that thought that knocked me to my senses and made me realise what I was doing. I abruptly pulled away.

"I-I'm sorry." I stuttered, my face turning into a beetroot.

"Don't apologise, miz azyung." He purred again, reaching up and tucking a stray hair behind me ear.

It took me all my willpower not to lean into his touch and I couldn't help but mentally slap myself.

What happened to not leading him on, Olivia? I'm such a bad human being! Urgh, I'm just going to hurt him. For fucksake I'm just going to end up hurting the most wonderful person on whatever planet this is.

Although my thoughts made me want to cry I simply smiled sheepishly at Fili. Riddled with guilt and wanting to just crawl into a hole and die I somehow allowed him to take my hand and continue to lead me back to my room.

Fili was chatting away, our kiss had clearly lightened his mood considerably as he was practically shining like the sun. However, I was a storm cloud, slithering along next to him with a blank look on my face and a hollowness in my eyes.

"Good night, miz azyung." Fili smiled at me and I pulled a fake smile in return. One I had perfected over years and years of tragedy. I let him press a kiss to my forehead, "Men eleneku menu o bepap opetu ezirak."

"Oh come on!" I genuinely laughed, my mood lightening momentarily, "I've only just got you to tell me the last one! You're definitely making these up."

Fili pulled away smirking, but didn't say anything else. His eyes twinkled at me, filled with humour and looking at me with such affection.

I wanted to be sick.

"Night." I said quietly, just as he turned to leave. He sent me another smile over his shoulder before turning away and disappearing around the corner.

Once I was in my room and the door was safely shut I just stood there for a moment, unsure what to do with myself. My stomach felt like lead, and my heart felt like it was broken already. I was heartbroken that I was going to hurt him, I was festering with grief because I knew I was unable to love him; I couldn't love him. I was being so cruel to him and he was none the wiser.

I was unable to decipher how I felt about him. I didn't want to be with him, I don't think. But at the same time I wasn't able to resist him, his laugh, his smile, his personality was just so overwhelming. Just being in his presence made me feel happy. But I've only know him for a few months, it's just a crush, I only fancied him. And that's how I was hurting him so much. I wasn't able to let myself fall in love. I wasn't capable of giving him what he truly deserved, and that's what hurt the most.

I fell into a restless sleep that night, waking every few hours and painfully waiting for dawn to arrive as if it was some sort of comfort. When it eventually did arrive it wasn't. I slugged towards the bathroom and completely ignored my reflection in the beautiful, intricate mirror that simply floated above the bath. I didn't need to see myself to know I looked a right state, I'd spent most the night crying into my pillow so without a doubt I'd be bloodshot and zombie-esque.

I wasn't even in the mood for a bath, but I had one anyway, not knowing when the company planned on leaving so who knows when my next wash will be. Yuck.

Never in my life have I ever not wanted to do something so badly. The last thing I wanted to do right now was face any of the company, especially Fili. The thought of seeing his happy face made me sick to my stomach, not with hate, but with guilt.

I washed quickly, barely sparing a moment in the warm waters to think or contemplate life. When I was finally ready to leave my room I went in search for company, or more specially: Bilbo. I trudged around Rivendell, checking Bilbo's room, the outlook where the majority of the Dwarves usually stayed, the dining hall… Heck I even tried the gardens. But I couldn't find Bilbo anywhere, or any other member of the company for that matter.

I stood for a moment, simply frowning and planning my next cause of action. It was then I saw a familiar Elf floating past me.

"Excuse me! E-excuse me! Hey, hi, hello!" I called over to the Elf. Linder? Linda? Lindir!

He nodded his head in my direction as a greeting, "Good morning, miss Olivia. I trust you slept well. It's a little early for you, is it not?"

It was early, hell the grass was still damp with dew, and I knew he was referring to the fact that I slept like a log until gone noon, but I lied and nodded. "Yes, yes. Wonderfully," Fib, fib, fibber! "Erm, have you seen any of my friends?"

"The company of Dwarves and the Hobbit?" Lindir clarified and I nodded, "Unfortunately I haven't seen them since supper last night." Something in his voice told me that when he said 'unfortunately' he didn't entirely mean it. "But I believe Gandalf is still here, last time I saw him he was in the library, do you wish me to take you to him?"

I nodded excitedly, my frustration oozing slightly, "Thank you." I breathed a sigh of relief that I hadn't know I was holding.

Lindir nodded once more, and turned to lead the way. To begin with we were silent, but I couldn't help but sneak the occasional glance up at Lindir. He was bloody gorgeous after all, like totally, mouth-wateringly stunning. But he wasn't rugged and masculine like Fili.

I mentally slapped myself.

"So, erm. You guys are, like, immortal, right?"

Lindir peered down at me, obviously amazed by my wonderful articulatory skills. I swear I saw a faint smirk on his lips.

"Yes, we are." He replied coolly.

"Does that not get boring? Knowing there is no time limit on anything, that there is no rush to do anything?"

"You believe rushing is a virtue?"

"No, but I believe it is a thrill."

Lindir gave me a small smile, the same smile you'd give a child when they present you with a shit drawing but you still have to act impressed. He was humouring me.

"I suppose you're right, in a way."

I didn't know how to respond to that, so I didn't. I thought about my next words but they sounded borderline offensive in my head and I didn't want to totally rain on the immortal parade. Not that I'm sure I could even if I wanted to. But still.

Anyway, I didn't have to think up anymore brilliant conversation because Lindir stopped walking in front of a stone, delicate archway.

"Gandalf!" I yelled. I thought I'd at least startle the wizard, as he seemed deeply engrossed in pouring over the open book before him, but instead he looked up at me with a confused look on his face.

"My dear," He slowly stood from his seat surround by numerous books, "Why are you here?"

I blinked at him, "I came looking for you." I felt Lindir leave.

"Those Dwarves!" Gandalf suddenly raged after a short pause. His sudden outburst startled me slightly. "Thorin's pride will be his downfall!"

"Erm, exsqueeze me?"

"They have already left for the Misty Mountain in the early hours of this morning."

His words hit me like a kick in the gut and a stab through the chest. Instantly my eyes stung but I refused to let it show.

"They left me?"

Gandalf didn't reply, instead his expression cooled and he gave me an almost apologetic smile.

"But why?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. But we'll soon find out. Come, grab your things, we leave soon."

I shook my head, "No."

"No?"

"No. I'm not going." I was a painfully proud person, and the company leaving me behind hadn't just wounded my pride, but they had completely and utterly slain it. I felt humiliated and stupid to believe that they actually cared about me. Obviously they didn't actually want me around, which is why they left me. I was too embarrassed to go chasing after them like a lost puppy. They had deceived me into thinking I belonged with them, but obviously that was not the case. God, how embarrassing that I fell for it.

I felt cheated, lied to, _unwanted_.

Why would Fili leave me…?

And then I remembered. I remembered him saying that I shouldn't continue on this quest when I was still unwell. He'd tricked me into believing he liked me, he'd tricked me into trusting him just to kick me to the ground and leave me behind.

I felt heartbroken all over again, but this time it wasn't because of guilt. I was genuinely broken-hearted.

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_A little longer than usual this time! I'm getting quite into writing longer chapters!_

_Erm, well I've hoped you've all enjoyed this chapter!_

_Pleasseeee let me know what you think of it, your support genuinely means the world to me and I love hearing what you all have to say._

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	12. Goblin-Town

I was angry. Wait, no. Scratch that. I was absolutely furious.

I stomped along behind Gandalf, every so often swearing under my breath and glaring at the back of the wizards head as he wandered along ahead of me, either blissfully unaware of my raging or simply choosing to ignore it. Either one was plausible.

"Fucksake!" I yelled when I tripped over a loose rock. Out of anger I swooped down and grabbed the foul beast before throwing it with all my might. Of course it didn't go particularly far.

Even later in life I believed Gandalf bullied me into continuing the quest, he black mailed me with the promise that if I continued he would personally make sure I'd have a good home and a happy life.

"Compared to what?" I had said, remembering that I did in fact have nothing at all for me in Middle-Earth.

"Compared to staying here, with nothing." He'd replied, looking pointedly at me with a stony gaze.

How could I have turned that offer down? As in, I **physically** couldn't have turned that offer down. If I was left in Rivendell what would I do? Mooch around for the rest of my days with nothing going for me and nothing to live for. No. Obviously Gandalf knew what my reaction would be.

But the idea of a home to call my own was nice. Hell, maybe I could find a cute little village and settle down with someone, who knows maybe I could start my own family.

That thought brightened my spirits a bit. And even when the image of Fili floated into my thoughts I pushed it away, refusing to think about him. I was going to get over him. I've done it before and I can do it again. There's much worse things in life to worry about that boys anyway.

And so that's how I came to be slothing along behind the Grey wizard, barely keeping up as we walked for hours and hours on end. I mean, I was fit enough. Back in London I did my walking, I went to the gym a few times a week, I watched what I ate. But I think even the fittest of people would struggle walking for twelve hours a day, every day. Only stopping twice, once for a lunch of some weird bread, and the second time for some more weird bread and sleep. Was it Lembas bread or something that Gandalf had called it?

And I was bored. Painstakingly, mind numbingly bored.

When we'd first left Rivendell it was beautiful, because of course I could simply look over my shoulder and bask in the glorious sight that was the Elven Refuge, so I wasn't entirely bored. But soon enough we'd stepped over into what Gandalf had called The Wild and within hours the environment had done a total one-eighty.

The ground was no longer littered with unusual and beautiful flowers and fresh, sweet smelling grass. Oh no. The ground had become a death trap in its own right, covered in sneaky rocks and hidden potholes, just waiting to trip me up. Of course Gandalf had no issue walking these harsh paths, striding along ahead while I huffed and puffed in a desperate attempt to keep up.

The only good that had come out of this venture was knowledge that after all this walking and hiking my bum was going to look great.

Also Lord Elrond had kindly equipped me with new clothes. I had still kept my old ones though, just in case. But my new attire consisted of a white tunic like blouse with slight silver embroidery around the v-neckline; dark brown, soft cotton trousers that I'd rolled up to just below my mid calve and I'd pulled up my brightly coloured, non-matching socks. I also had a pair of thick, warm, soft boots that were surprisingly light bearing in mind how sturdy they were, and I also had a forest green jumper like-thing that at that moment was tied around my waist. I still had my stupid sword strapped to my hip, and my holdall slung across my back. I looked like a right little rambler.

On the fourth day we began to climb a steep, unfriendly mountain which looked totally unsuitable for Olivia's.

However, Gandalf the superwizard didn't even hesitate and continued to zoom ahead. I took it upon myself to keep up the rear, plodding along painfully and sweating like a nun at a cucumber stand.

"Gandalf I think I'm dying." I barely puffed halfway through the eighth day of climbing, at least I think it was the eighth day. My head was spinning due to the thin air and lack of oxygen, and I was completely delirious. I was pretty much crawling on my hands and knees by this point too, unable to stand upright. I was also nearly crawling for support, we were so high up the mountain now I was scared if I stood upright I'd go falling straight off the side. I wasn't afraid of heights, but I was afraid of falling off a mountain. The path was only getting narrower and less stable, several times I'd seen rocks crumble and fall away from where Gandalf stepped.

He glanced back at me then, almost look sympathetic.

"Put your glasses on, you'll be able to see better."

"I don't _want_ to see better, I don't want to see how high we are and how scary this is." Gandalf had a point, I probably should put my glasses on. My eyesight was truly appalling and right now I was more or less stumbling around upon a mountain God only knows how many feet above sea level and I couldn't see more than a metre or so ahead of me. But at the same time I'd become so used to not being able to see, it didn't seem bad anymore. Also, if I put my glasses on I'd be able to see, and I didn't really want to.

Gandalf pursed his lips, and I was suddenly thankful the Dwarves had left me. Imagine if I was dying like this with all of them and slowing the company down? I'm glad I was left in Rivendell and not on the side of a mountain, which they'd undoubtedly do.

"We are close now." Gandalf looked at the air around him. "There was a storm not too long ago, I believe this would have slowed them down. Come." He then set off again, faster than ever and I groaned, finally getting down on my hands and knees and crawling after him.

I slithered along behind Gandalf as his pace continued to pick up.

"Gandalf, why're you running?" I puffed, quickly kneeling up and brushing my hands together before returning to hands to the painfully rocky path.

"Something is wrong, very wrong." He looked around himself once more, as if was looking for something. "Quickly, this way."

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"Gandalf, what's going on?" We'd stopped now, and at first I thought it was feeding time, but I soon discovered (with disappointment) it wasn't.

Gandalf wasn't listening to me though. He was too busy running his left hand over the side of the mountain, his right clutching his staff tightly.

"Shut your eyes." He commanded, surprisingly sternly and sparing a quick glance down at me as I sat cross legged on the floor at his feet.

"What?"

Gandalf didn't reply again. Instead he placed his staff in front of him, and still facing the wall he began to mutter in a language I didn't understand.

"Gandalf, what—Ah!" I squeezed my eyes shut as a blindingly bright light erupted from the tip of his staff, and like a mini explosion he blew a hole in the side of the mountain. "Fuck!" I shouted, but I didn't have time to dwell on what had just happened because Gandalf was off into the mountain.

"Quiet!" He shouted in a whisper, "And keep close."

I obeyed and silently followed him into the mountain. At first it was just a network of disgustingly smelling paths, but Gandalf somehow seemed to know where he was going.

"Gandalf, where—"

"Shh!" He turned a corner, and I soon shut up. The tunnel opened up into a huge cave- actually cave was an understatement- more or less the entirety of the mountain had been totally dug out. Make-shift and bodged bridges and walkways hung unstably around us, leading from one badly made ledge to another. The stench was overwhelming, and unfortunately reminded me of trolls.

Was this where trolls lived?

Gandalf was on the move again. Which meant I was also.

I followed him as he crossed one of those poor quality bridges, but even though I tried desperately hard I wasn't able to be as silent as he was.

I tried to tell myself to be as silent as a mouse, but then remembered that mice weren't in fact silent and were actually rather loud. So I scratched that and told myself to be as silent as a dead person.

I wish I was a dead person, that way I wouldn't be here.

I was shaking in terror as we stepped off one bridge and onto another. It was eerily silent and deserted, which I just thought made everything worse and I silently wished I'd listened to Gandalf and put my glasses on. I wouldn't be able to see danger even if it flipped me off.

The wooden boards beneath my feet groaned and quaked as I stepped on them, each sound making me wince.

We continued walking over the maze of bridges and wooden scaffolding. Every so often I noticed a bone or skull of some kind and I inwardly gagged, bile coming dangerous close to escaping out my mouth.

And then we head something in the distance. Singing? No. _Chanting_.

I couldn't hear what was being said. I was far too busy concentrating on not falling through the gaps in the wood to decipher the lyrics. The only noise I could hear was my own blood thumbing in my ears.

We turned another corner and I openly gasped, unable to stop myself. My eyes widened in sheer horror at the creatures that were before us. They were small, lumpy and grotesque.

Bile finally came up my throat on sight of these creatures, and once again I finally found myself glad that I hadn't put my glasses on. I didn't want to see these creatures in HD, thanks.

As quietly as I could I spat out the bile and tried to muffle my gag.

"Close your eyes."

This time I didn't question Gandalf and did as I was told, instantly dropping into the foetal position on the floor for safety. Pfft.

From behind my eyelids and hands a great eruption occurred and even in the position I was in I could see the flash of bright white/blue light explode. Instantly silence followed the great explosion, it was far larger than the one Gandalf had done to get us into the mountain in the first place and I could feel dust and light debris fall around me from the impact.

"Take up arms!" Gandalf suddenly called, and momentarily I forgot where I was. "Fight!"

Oh, that's my queue.

In an instant I was on my feet, staring in sheer horror as a violent scene unfolded before me. Dwarves vs. mini troll nasty things.

Immediately I knew I had to do something, I knew I had to help them. Mini trolls tackled the Dwarves from all angles and they were vastly outnumbered.

A sudden fire ignited within me and my veins pulsated instantly with adrenaline. My vision seemed to narrow and my head swam with sudden energy.

"Leave my Bombom alone!" I roared in a voice I hadn't know I had. I totally forgot about the sword hanging from my hip and sprinted on numb legs towards the round Dwarf who was on the floor, looming over him was one of those dirty creature.

I didn't think, I just acted.

I didn't know many moves, but I knew how to K.O. someone. I have an older brother for Goodness sake, I learnt to K.O before I could walk.

I ran towards the creature at full speed, and when I was close enough I jumped, raising both my legs to my chest before thrusting them forwards sharply towards his head, giving the cretin a good, old-fashioned double flying head kick.

I landed on my bum, hard. But I quickly scrambled up and went to pull Bombur to his feet. I think he opened his mouth to say something but I left him. Moving away punch a creature that was growing dangerously close to Kili.

"This way!" Gandalf called, and instantly everyone as off.

Despite how rotten I'd felt for the past week or so, right now I felt higher that a kite running purely of adrenaline. I knew I was running for my life, and thankfully so did my body because it wasn't going to give up on me.

"Olivia watch out!"

I heard someone yell and I quickly turned, screaming at the creature that had just jumped down to land right in my face and brandishing an axe.

Of course I did what any teenage girl would do to someone (or something) that was standing far too close. Completely startled and without even thinking I thrust my elbow in its face.

It sounds stupid, but somehow my unlikely move caught it off guard and it slipped, tumbling over the side of the ledge we were on.

I didn't even have time to see if it caught itself or if it genuinely did fall to its death because I kept running.

I was running behind Bombur, and one moment he was there and then the next he was gone, leaving a large hole in the wood where he once stood. I was running so fast and so close behind him I didn't get a chance to stop before I was right above the hole.

With a squeak I tried to skid to a halt in front of the hole, slipping and spinning around the edge.

"No!" I heard someone yell.

However, I was young and fit, and more or less like a spring. Not to mention I was actually good at long jump and with a swift leap I jumped over the hole.

Needless to say I was feeling pretty smug.

With my new boost of confidence I sped up, catching sight of Bombur a few levels down and sighing with relief that he was alright.

"Olivia, duck!"

"Quack!" I yelled, just as I did as I was told, narrowly missing an arrow.

I turned on my heel, "Kili watch out!" I screamed, bolting back towards him. From one of the parallel walk ways stood a creature, a bow in is grasp as it pulled back an arrow. "Kili!" I screamed again, but he wasn't listening, too busy bringing his sword down on a critters head to hear me.

So I did what anyone would do. I put myself right in the firing line.

At first I thought it missed, but then it actually hit me. It was the squelch I heard first, the sound of the arrow splitting my flesh and embedding itself into my body. I stumbled on impact, my hand raising to where the arrow rested just under my collar bone.

The pain was excruciating. Pure, blinding agony hit me like someone had dropped a bowling ball on my foot and K.O.-ed me right in the head all at once.

In a rush of adrenaline I pulled on the arrow, my flesh surrounding it growing numb as my body fought the pain. You hear about these people who break their legs in accidents but still manage to walk miles to find help. Like the guy in that film who cut off his own arm when it got stuck under a boulder. I once heard about this woman who was rock climbing and her harness broke and she fell nearly a hundred foot and landed on solid sandstone. She completely obliterated one of her knee caps, broke both legs, pelvis and one of her arms. Yet she still managed to crawl five miles, even through a stream, until a helicopter found her. But until now I never truly believe the incredible feats the human body could do.

I threw the arrow to the floor, hissing in pain and cradling my left arm. I turned and ran after the rest of the company. Catching them up as Kili pulled a shifty looking ladder from the wall and let it fall on a group of those foul creatures, he then used it to push them out the way as we ran along behind. So far none of the Dwarves had noticed my handicap and kept going. I kept as close to them as I possibly could for safety, of course I knew I was an easy target now.

The company had split into two groups, and I couldn't help but notice Fili was amongst the other group. I wonder if he'd notice I was injured if he was here.

**No**. Now is not the time.

The two groups re-joined and we all skidded to a halt on one of the suspended platforms, but this one was a dead end. I was beginning to feel drunk now, barely able to keep my eyes from rolling around in their sockets and my vision was splitting and drifting.

"Hold on!" I heard someone yell.

Next thing I knew the platform swung forward towards another nearby ledge.

"Jump!"

I didn't jump, but the Dwarves closest to the other ledge did, and I just stumbled forward and watched them with terror filled eyes as our platform swung back. Instantly those little critters thought it was okay to jump on and join us for the ride. One approached me.

"Of fuck off!" I wasn't exactly in the mood to be confronted by a sword wielding mini troll thing.

Somehow I managed to dodge its first blow but I stumbled again, my legs like spaghetti. For once luck was on my side because I stumbled straight off the platform just as it was swinging back to the other ledge and with a squeak I fell onto Bofur.

"Are you alright, lass?" He pulled me to my feet and grabbed me by my shoulders. I cried out when he unintentionally pressed his palm over mine that was shielding my wound.

"Come! Hurry!" Thorin yelled and I immediately pulled away from Bofur, still licking my metaphoric wounds about being left and licking my physical wounds caused by my unthinking brain.

We kept running, and how I managed to keep up was beyond me. All I knew at this point was to put one leg in front of the other and glare at the back of Thorin's head who was running just in front of me.

We turned a corner, and I gulped at the group of goblins just a little way up from us.

I'm actually going to die. I'm going to die in a world I don't know, with people who don't care about me, and by the hands of these dreadful creatures.

I wanted to let out a sob, but I just didn't have the tears.

From the front Gandalf reached up and thrust his staff into the low rock above us. In a move so quick it startled me, a large boulder of rock came tumbling from the ceiling and began to roll towards the awaiting mini-trolls.

It continued to roll and completely flattened any creature that stood in its path. We continued to run, and despite my current state I made sure to be careful and no tread on any of the jellied carcasses that lay on the floor.

We rounded another corner and followed along another suspended walkway, this one on its own and wider that the others. Hope blossomed in my stomach at the idea that this may just be the way out.

Obviously I was only allowed luck once in my life for up from the depths of the cave came a huge, stinking creature. Its eyes bulged around its gruesome skill and its gullet hung like a sack of shit.

It stood to its full height, looking menacingly down on us. I glanced around to find more of those mini-trolls appearing and circling us in all directions. As I continued to glance around I caught sight of Fili watching me from his spot ahead of me.

I completely ignored him and kept my eyes moving.

"You thought you could escape me?" The fat-arse creature bellowed in its rumbling, putrid voice. Without warning it swung its staff made of skulls down towards Gandalf, the wizard jumping out of the way just in time and fell back towards the company. "What're you going to do now, Wizard?" The creature growled, leaning it and sharing its ghastly breath with us.

Gandalf suddenly pushed himself off the Dwarves and used his staff to poke the creature in the eye. The creature cried out in pain and covered its eye with its hand.

Taking advantage of the distraction Gandalf reached forward and sliced the large creature's fat, flabby belly.

The creature fell to its knees. "That'll do it."

Gandalf wasn't taking any chances and finished off the giant by slicing its flaccid turkey neck. Instantly the creature fell limp, face planting the wooden walkway and making it shake and quake.

It didn't take a genius to work out what was happening, and I sent a silent prayer to God asking him to keep my death quick and painless just in time for the bridge to finally give way and break off from the rest of the structure.

I screamed and fell to the floor, grabbing hold of the edge of the platform as we fell down into the chasm.

I squeezed my eyes shut in anticipation for death. The platform rocked and slid down into the pit, bouncing off walls until it wedged between two narrowing pieces of rock. Just before the platform hit the floor I popped out of the shattering wood like when you squeeze a bar of soap too hard and it pops out of your hands.

I face planted the floor with a groan.

I rolled onto my front just as Gandalf picked himself up from the rubble.

"Well, that could have been worse." Bofur chimed positively while the other Dwarves around him groaned in disagreement.

As if fate was playing some cruel, practical joke as soon as the words left his lips the large, fat creature came crashing down upon them.

The Dwarves continued to moan and groan as they pulled themselves out the rubble.

I picked myself up off the floor and stumbled around just as Kili yelled:

"Gandalf!"

I looked up, completely lost for words at the sight of thousands of those mini-troll things advancing towards us from above.

The funny thing was, I wasn't even surprised. Luck definitely wasn't our friend.

"We can't fight them, there's too many!" Dwalin exclaimed. Duh.

"Only one thing will save us. Sunlight. Run!"

And we were off again, just like that.

Gandalf led us through a complicated network of tunnels, once again amazing me with his satnaving skills.

I stumbled and tripped my way through the tunnels, only just managing to keep up with the Dwarves as I held up the rear. A fresh round of adrenaline was pumping through my body and I could hear the mini-rolls gaining on us. But I didn't dare look round.

We ran for what felt like hours, but to be honest I doubt it was more than twenty minutes before I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. I silently wished it was heaven but of course it wasn't.

We spilled into the daylight, running at top speed down a steep slope.

Eventually the company began to slow and I stumbled to a halt next to Gandalf, doubling over in pain as relief washed over me, completely wiping out any adrenaline that was keeping me going.

My arm was cramping from giving constant pressure to my wound and when I moved it I felt a fresh rush of warm blood ooze from it.

"Olivia!" I heard Bofur yell, instantly appearing at my side along with Bombur and catching me just in time for my legs to buckle beneath me. "She's hurt!"

Instantly Oin was in my face, prying my hand away from my wound to get a closer look.

"There's no poison, and it's not too deep. But let me clean it. You're lucky your shoulder bone stopped it from going any deeper."

Yeah, lucky me.

Oin moved away again to check what herbs he still had, leaving my vision before me clear. I saw Fili standing there, watching me with a worried expression.

He caught my gaze and took a step forward. "Olivia, I-"

"_You_!" I hissed, pushing myself away from Bofur and Bombur, fury giving me enough strength to ignore the agonising pain I was currently in. I took a step towards the blonde whose expression was sheer alarm. "You bastard!" Oops. I noticed Fili flinch as if he'd been shot by an arrow himself. "_You nasty little creature! _To think I never loved you!" The words fell from my mouth like venom, and Fili's expression was more painful than my wound. My heart was ripped from my chest and stomped on. And Fili just stood there limply, his face was painted with an expression of pure agony and the look in his eyes was torture. My throat began to sting, and with my last strength I ripped that blasted bead from my hair and threw it at him. It hit him in the chest with a little 'thump' and fell to the ground meekly. He just stared at it.

With that I stumbled back. Thankfully Bombur was there to catch me when everything went black.

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_Omg, it's now midnight and I started writing this chapter at 8 with the mind-set 'I'll write for an hour or so and get an early night'_

_BUT I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY._

_I'm so sorry if there's any mistakes, I'm literally falling asleep right now haha_

_Thank you so much to everyone who's reviewed, you're all so kind and lovely!_

_And thank you to everone who's followed and favourited!_

_Please let me know what you think of this chapter!_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_


	13. Cliff Diving

"Olivia? Olivia! Wake up, Olivia."

I began to stir, my head feeling heavy and my stomach churning. I tried to tell whoever was yelling to shut the _fuck_ up but all that came out was an inaudible grunt.

"Olivia!"

"Shuu-t-fu-p." Was all I was able to muster before finally blinking my eyes open. The face that came into my vision was like a Godsend; a short, curly brown haired Godsend. "Bilbo!"

Bilbo grinned at me, looking totally and utterly relieved.

I went to sit up but an aching pain in my shoulder stopped me. "Ah!"

"Oh-oh careful, careful!" Bilbo supported me until I was in an upright position. His hand lingering on my arm to make sure I was stable.

I blinked through the dying light of the sun, looking around at the company as they peered down at me. "Sorry." I muttered, "I've never fainted before."

Thorin grunted in response and Bofur grinned at me.

"Where were you anyway, Bilbo?" I abruptly asked, not recalling seeing him in the mountain and feeling suddenly guilty that I hadn't noticed sooner. I suppose the _excitement _of it all left me momentarily impaired. "And what were those things?"

Bilbo suddenly looked a little sheepish, "I-I got a bit lost." He replied, avoiding eye contact.

I narrowed his eyes at him and opened my mouth to ask more but Gandalf cut me off.

"They were Goblins, my dear. That was Goblin-Town."

"A bit of an unimaginative name. Don't you think?"

I didn't get a reply. Thorin grunted once more and the Dwarfs began to disperse, obviously realising I was okay and wandering away back to the tasks they were doing before my little episode. I couldn't help but feel my stomach slowly turn to lead again at this.

"How are you feeling?" Bilbo asked. He was the only one staying with me, and the look on his face was genuine concern.

I nearly smiled at him, but questions burned painfully on my tongue and although I knew I wanted desperately to fire them at him I knew now wasn't the right time. Instead I made a move to get up, my lead stomach making it almost impossible to do so on my own, thankfully Bilbo supported me.

"I'm fine." I lied, not wanting to appear anymore of a bourdon than I already felt.

As I staggered up I caught sight of Fili watching me over his shoulder. I just sent him the coldest glare I could muster and he quickly looked away.

I was usually a mellow person, it takes an enormous amount to actually piss me off, or anger me in any way, shape, or form. Hell, my friend reversed into my brand new car and I just shrugged it off, because you know 'shit happens'. I'm not unreasonable, I laugh everything off and I have a great sense of humour. But when I am pissed off? Stay out my way if you know what's good for you.

I finished swaying on my feet and finally let go of Bilbo. I hadn't noticed until now actually how much smaller he was than me, and how warm he was.

My shoulder ached like crazy, and I could barely move my entire arm because it was so numb. I glanced down at it, heavenly thankful to find that Oin had already bound it, and by the strange, grassy smell it was emitting I assumed he'd used some sort of herbal salve to ease the pain. I tried to move it and flinched, groaning in pain. I was just considering asking Gandalf to use his wizardy powers to heal me just like he'd done on my stomach when a loud howl echoed through the air around us.

Recognising it my blood instantly ran cold.

"Out of the frying-pan." Mutter Thorin.

"And into the fire." Finished Gandalf, before turning to the rest of us and shouting: "Run!"

In an instant adrenaline coursed through me, blocking the aching in my shoulder and replacing it with a dull tingling.

The entire company started running again, and I followed with Bilbo at my heels. Unfortunately, it wasn't long until we heard the familiar heavy breathing and hard thumps of Wargs on our tail.

My face drained completely of colour when I saw the company in front grinding to a halt. It was a dead end. A cliff face hung before us and we had no means of escape.

"Quickly, into the trees!" Gandalf yelled.

"Bilbo!" I heard someone cry, and I dared to shoot a glance round to where I thought Bilbo was. But to my absolute horror he wasn't there, instead he was pinned up against a tree with one of those beasts advancing on him.

"Bilbo!" I yelled, but obviously my call fell onto deaf ears and I stared in terror as the Warg made a final jump for Bilbo. I instantly skidded to a halt, ignoring it when I heard someone shout my own name

"Bilbo!" I cried again, turning on my heel and sprinting back towards him.

To this day I feel utterly guilty for underestimating him so much, because to my amazement in a blink of an eye he had unsheathed his sword and somehow imbedded the weapon into the Warg's skull; right between its eyes.

"Bilbo!" I called out again, more in relief now as I ran to join him. He was now trying to pull out his sword from the Warg's head, having wedged it in there pretty tightly. I finally came up to him, painfully aware of the rest of the Warg's gaining ground and totally conscious of the fact that if we didn't move fast we'd be killed.

Bilbo continued to struggle with the sword so I too wrapped my hands around the hilt. Together and with one more harsh tug we were able to pull it free. I let out a cry of pain when a shot of pure agony hit my shoulder. Glancing up my breath hitched into my throat and I more or less dragged Bilbo into action.

Despite the adrenaline rush I was in pure agony. Pulling that sword had pulled a muscle in my shoulder and the neat, relatively clean bandages were completely soaked once again with a fresh wave of blood. My hairline was beginning to bead with sweat and my body began to prickle with heat. I was so close to giving up and calling it quits, but I couldn't- not yet.

"Dori, catch!" I had seem Dori crouched on the lowest branch of a nearby tree, his eyes were unmoving from us but I knew I was bad meat now, weak and vulnerable. So instead I grabbed Bilbo's hand and with my last shred of energy I pushed him forwards. Bilbo grabbed onto the lowest branch and Dori (thankfully) quickly grabbed him, pulling him up higher for safety.

I kept running. I didn't have time to stop and scramble up a tree. I wouldn't be able to hoist myself up into the canopy mid-run anyway let alone with an impaired limb. If I stopped now to climb a tree I would be instantly ploughed over by a Warg, the beasts were so close I could practically taste their hot breath on my skin.

"Olivia!"

I ignored the call and stumbled to a halt on the edge of the cliff. Quickly spinning round to come more or less face to face with six heavily breathing Wargs. My eyes darted to each of them, and then to the trees where I could feel more than a dozen pairs of eyes on me.

I gulped.

The Wargs slowly advanced, snorting and huffing, kicking up the dirt with their large paws.

My brain had left my skull, leaving me to fend for myself.

I could hear the yells from the company above and I spot a quick glance to where Gandalf was, my eyes glassy and pleading for help. He seemed to have read my mind for all he did was give me a stiff, blank nod.

I shut my eyes, taking in a deep breath, savouring the way the air filled my lungs and the sweet taste of life on my tongue.

No matter how this predicament unravelled, I will end up dead. Either eaten alive by a Warg or by my own means by throwing myself off the cliff.

It didn't take me long to make my decision, no matter how upset I was with the company a life is a life, and if I was going to die I may as well take these Wargs with me.

I made a sudden movement, shuffling my feet against the dry dirt. Instantly the Wargs gave me the reaction I wanted and jumped into stance; ready to attack.

My heart was racing so hard and fast I couldn't hear anything other than the thundering pulse in my ears.

I was a few yards away from the cliffs edge and I turned on my head quickly. Instantly the sound of Warg paws hitting the floor flooded into my hearing and without even a second thought I ran towards the cliff face, and with a leap I took off over the edge.

I heard howls behind me, the howls of several stupid-arse Wargs following me over the cliff.

I quickly panicked, the wind rushing through my hair and hitting my face with so much force I would have sworn someone actually slapped me to my senses.

Fuck.

I quickly began to flail. My hands reaching out and painfully grabbing at the cliffs wall. My fingers scraped the harsh rock until my foot actually saved the day.

"Fuck!" I screamed, my foot twisted itself into a root and caught there, my entire body kept falling until the root finally reached its limited and snapped into place. With a yelp my body pulled and stretched, slamming me into the cliff face.

But there I hung. Alive, breathing and absolutely petrified.

A familiar feeling of déjà vu crept over me as I hung there upside down, swinging slightly with momentum.

I blinked. Once, twice, then three times.

It was eerily silent, and I ignored the soft thuds of the idiot Wargs that followed off the cliff hitting the floor hundreds of feet below. I didn't ignore the sound because I felt bad, I ignored the sound because the thought of that being me as well freaked me out.

I chundered.

Upside down I chundered.

I spat a few times, careful not to get it in my hair as I hung there.

Now what?

I attempted to glance up, but I couldn't see the cliffs edge because my goddam boobs were blocking it.

My blood was slowly rushing to my head and I knew if I wanted to stay conscious I'd have to upright myself. I swung myself gently, reaching forwards and grabbing hold of some of the rocks on the cliff. Unfortunately, they simply came loose and fell to the ground.

I cursed again, squeezing my eyes shut and rolling them around in my head in an attempt to stop my vision lapsing. I was beginning to feel woozy now, the blood rushing to my brain was beginning to make me light headed and my skull ache. My breathing was increasing too, I was out of breath, my heart racing vigorously in my chest and my arms hung limply at my sides.

Blood swum around in my head, blocking my ears until all I could hear was a rushing of liquid. It reminded me of being back home when we'd go to the beach, the peaceful memory of finding shells and putting them to our ears so we could hear the ocean. That's what it sounded like, I was just hearing the ocean. I was on the beach with my sister and my oldest brother before he had to go away, when times were simpler and when we were a happy family.

I was beginning to slowly drift unconscious, my once rapid breathing had completely thinned out now. I wasn't aware of how long I was hanging, but it must have been nearly half hour. I was slowly rotating around and around, occasionally bumping into the cliff face when suddenly I was grabbed from behind.

My heavily hooded eyes popped open when I registered myself as no longer upside down but suddenly falling through the air.

I let out a scream, assuming I was falling and slowly coming to my scenes as the blood poured back down into my body. But the ground never came, and I soon realised I wasn't falling and I wasn't actually getting any closer to it.

Suddenly a huge bird came into my vision from below and one second I was being dragged through the air and then the next I was falling, but I didn't process what had happened quick enough to let out another scream before I handed heavily onto the birds back.

"What the fuck?!" I shrieked, finding myself and scrambling round on the giant birds back. I began to slip and with a squeak I quickly grabbed hold of a bunch of feathers.

There was loud caw from above and I quickly dared a glance above me, nearly pooing my pants when I saw it was another massive bird. I quickly put two and two together to realise that it was what had pulled me from the cliff.

My heart began to race viciously again, and I squeezed my eyes shut.

I was petrified all over again. What the fuck were these things? Where the fuck am I going? And why can't I just die already instead of dragging out the process?

I felt utterly miserable. I was in agonizing pain from my open wound on my shoulder, my foot that had been caught tightly in a root and my brain that had been filled with blood. Never had I felt so rotten in all my life. Not only physically but mentally also. I felt so lonely.

A single tear slid down my right cheek but it quickly dried in the wind. I slowly lowered myself into the silky soft feathers of the bird, letting my sobs be drowned out by the rushing of air around me. It had been a long time since I'd cried myself to sleep, but obviously not long enough to have forgotten how to do it.

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I hit the floor with hard thud, more than enough to wake me and knock me into alertness. I jumped up but only to lose balance fall straight back over onto my bum.

I felt a flapping of wings behind me and turned to find the giant bird that had carried me fly away. In its wake it revealed a bunch of very confused looking Dwarves, a relieved looking Hobbit and a smug looking Wizard all standing in a row and turning towards me.

I just blinked at them, opening and shutting my mouth a few times like a fish out of water but completely unable to find the right words.

"Hello?" I finally managed, slowly pulling myself up off the floor, nursing my banging head as I did so and wincing at the pain in my shoulder.

"You look terrible." Ori said.

"Cheers for that." I muttered sarcastically, bending over and attempting to brush myself off. Not that my efforts made any difference, I was covered from head to toe in muck, dirt and dust and I had blood matted into my hair and staining my skin. My clothes were ripped in places and completely shredded in others.

It was Oin who came forwards first, offering me his hand a genuinely sincere smile.

"Come, Miss Olivia. Let me help you with your wounds."

With a fake smile I complied, taking his hand and letting him lead me towards his belongings. He sat me down across from him, and I just let him clean me up without a word. I knew my face told that I was completely miserable, but I ignored the concern look on Oin's face. Instead I fixed my gaze on the back of Fili, wishing desperately that I could just go over there and cuddle him. I wanted a hug from him desperately and my heart ached in my chest to be near him. But he didn't even turn to look at me.

Sometime in the middle of Oin cleaning a scrape I had on my face a few of the giant birds came back, dropping animals to eat and a few supplies. Instantly the Dwarves that weren't already busy set to work preparing food and although I was insanely hungry the last thing I wanted to do was eat.

"What are those things?" I asked Oin, but the hard of hearing Dwarf didn't hear what I said.

He looked up, squinting at me, "What?"

I pointed to the circling birds, "What are they?" I repeated.

"Giant Eagles." Oin replied with a smile, a hint of wonder in his eyes.

Oin was just finishing bandaging up my shoulder again when two bowls appeared in front of us, one for me and one for Oin. Oin instantly dropped what he was doing and gratefully took the bowl, I did too, also glancing up to find Fili avoiding all eye contact with me. As soon as I had taken the bowl Fili turned on his heel and marched back off towards his brother.

I let out a sigh, my shoulders slumping slightly and pushing the stew around the bowl. Oin quickly finished his meal before I'd even had a single bite. He made quick work of finishing my shoulder because starting on my ankle, which I hadn't realised until earlier was caked in blood from the root slicing my skin.

Oin cleaned the mess up as best he could, and I was eternally grateful he was so gentle with my wounds. When he was finished all that was left was bindings and blood stained clothes, including my shoe, its once dark brown colouring had been left a deep maroon colour.

"Thank you, Oin." I said as the healer made a move to leave. He smiled at me once more and patted my head before wondering off to find seconds of dinner.

I stayed where I was, but turned to dangle my legs over the rocky structure Gandalf had informed me earlier was called Carrock.

It was nearly night fall once more, having had the Eagles carry us most of the night and most of the day Thorin had decided that we'd rest here for the remaining daylight and get a goodnights sleep. Thanks to the Eagles we'd gained a lot of ground and it made no sense heading off so late in the day, especially when there were wounded that needed to be tended to.

Plus I think he was shattered too, he certainly looked it. He was sitting on the opposite edge to me looking out over the forest before him and staring into the distance.

I was beginning to count the faint light of the stars through the sunset when I heard someone drop down heavily beside me. I looked to my right and to my absolutely surprise I found Dwalin sat there, looking up into the sky also.

For a moment neither of us said anything, and I turned my attention back to the stars.

"I saw what you did back in Goblin-Town." Dwalin finally spoke. His deep, rumbling voice low so the rest of the company couldn't here.

I glanced over at him, "What?"

"I saw you take that arrow for Kili." He replied, still not looking at me. "That shot could have killed him. The shot could have killed you and yet you took it anyway. I just wanted to thank you."

Slightly flustered I replied, "Don't thank me, I only did what was right."

"What was right?" He repeated questioningly, finally turning his gaze and peering at me.

I looked away, intimidated by his hard stare, "He's a prince. His life is more valuable than mine."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dwalin's eyebrows raise, "You truly believe that?"

"Yes." I replied quickly, "I have nothing here for me, no purpose here, yet you all do. Even if I am upset with you lot I would still do it again." I meant my words too.

"Upset?"

"I'm mad at you all."

"And yet you threw yourself off a cliff face in an attempt to rid us of some Wargs?"

I shrugged, but didn't answer.

"What bothers you?"

I was genuinely surprised to find Dwalin, of all people (or Dwarves?), being the one to show candid compassion towards me, let alone an interest in my feelings.

I shrugged again, getting defensive and closing myself off to the world. I obviously knew what bothered me, but I didn't want to tell him.

"Is it Prince Fili?"

Just the mention of Fili's name made my heart soar and my stomach crawl. I shrugged again.

There was another long silence and then my words popped out unexpectedly like word vomit.

"I didn't realise I relied on you lot as much as I actually did." I glanced over at Dwalin, who wore a face of concern and concentration.

"This is about us leaving you, lass?"

I nodded and he sighed, letting his shoulders loosen slightly.

"We thought it best. We only had your well-being in mind. Fili was adamant that you must be kept safe."

"What? Why?"

Dwalin smirked then, his attention once more looking out towards the setting sun. "Let's face it, you don't really have any regard for your own safety."

"You left me to stop me from killing myself?"

"We only had your safety in mind, these wilds are no place for a woman. Why else would we leave you?"

"I-I thought it was because you didn't want me."

Dwalin looked at me then, his brow knitted together in a frown, "Why would you think that? It was Fili's idea that you must be kept safe, and we agreed for your own sake as well as his. As soon as the quest was over we planned to return for you."

Although somewhat annoyed that Fili took it upon himself to make my decisions for me, I found my own anger draining slightly, and I sighed, "Because rejection is all I've ever known." I didn't know how I was trusting Dwalin with my words, I think it was the hard exterior made me feel safe in his presence, like I could trust that he would keep my feelings safe. He reminded me a little bit of my dad.

Dwalin continued to look at me with concern. "What do you mean?"

I shook my head and turned away, "It doesn't matter. I don't like talking about it."

We both fell into silence once more, and I was thankful Dwalin didn't press the issue further.

It was I who broke the silence with a burning question.

"What am I going to do about Fili?"

Dwalin looked worried again, although this time I think it was because he didn't feel wholly comfortable about having a boy chat.

When he didn't answer I continued anyway, "Like, how can I be his One if I don't recognise it myself? What if I never do?"

"Humans don't fall in love like us Dwarves, but if you are his One you'll know yourself in due course."

"What happens if I do?"

The terror in my voice caught Dwalin's attention once more and he turned to me with a frown. "What do you mean, lass?"

"Would I be a Queen?"

"Yes."

"Fuck, no. No way."

Dwalin frowned.

I bit my thumb. It tasted like copper, dirt and salt.

"Can he marry anyway though? I'm definitely not cut out to be a Queen, but I'm sure there's a nice lady Dwarf out there who is. Can't he marry her?" The though felt like being punched in the gut, but I ignored it, reminding myself I had no right to such emotions if I wasn't willing to commit to him- which I certainly wouldn't do.

"He could." Dwalin replied slowly and I sighed with relief. "But," He continued, "It wouldn't be out of love; he would live everyday unhappy and probably welcome an early grave."

I groaned, daring a glance round to the rest of the company. Instantly my eyes found Fili, and my heart leaped to find him watching me back. I offered him a small smile.

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_I really don't like this chapter!_

_Urgh!_

_Please let me know what you think of it!_

_Thank you to all those who have reviewed, favourited and followed! It means so much to me!_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_


	14. Homesickness

_WARNING: There's references of a sexual nature in this chapter. Nothing too mature, but just a warning! (:_

We left bright and early the next day, the air was still crisp and there was a slight chill in the breeze. I was more or less half asleep still by the time we began the descent of Carrock, I'd spent a good proportion of the night talking to Dwalin and although the Dwarf showed no signs of sleep deprivation I was certainly suffering. Actually, I say that Dwalin and I were talking but it was more like I was doing the talking and Dwalin was just sitting.

The climb down Carrock was not an easy one, and I found myself sticking to Dwalin like glue, or a 'parasite' like he said. I brushed his comment of as friendly banter and continued to pester him. Although, I don't think he would admit it, but I'm sure I caught him smiling a few times at things I'd said.

"Can't you bother someone else?" Dwalin asked after the second time I'd tripped over the back of his shoes. Although his words were hard, his tone certainly wasn't and when he glanced at me his expression was soft. "I'm sure it's Thorin's turn to babysit you."

From a few paces ahead I heard Thorin snort and I pouted dramatically, but it was short lived.

I gave the air a sniff. "You all absolutely stink."

"Ay, you're hardly daisy fresh yourself."

I gave my armpit a quick sniff and screwed my nose up. "Do you guys have any deodorant or anything?"

"What's that, lass?"

"That kind of explains itself." I sighed, and began to rummage around in my holdall for the empty can of deodorant I knew was in there. Somehow I hadn't had the heart to just throw it away, although it had run out in Rivendell I couldn't bring myself to leave it behind. I pulled out the white and pink metal can and gave it a shake. I twisted the top to unlock it and then attempted to spray it on myself. But all that came out was a fruitless 'psssssst'.

"Can I see that?"

One second I was holding the can and then the next it was gone. I turned to my right to find Nori shaking the tube violently and pressing the spray top. He was grinning widely and chuckling every time it made a 'pssssst' noise.

"It's empty." I told him, amusement apparent in my tone.

"It is?" Ori chipped in, trying to grab the can off his brother but Nori was too quick to move it out of his reach.

"You can have it, if you want?" My tone was borderline mockery, I expected them to say no because after all it was just rubbish.

"Really?" Nori looked at me with wide eyes and I blinked at him.

"Sure? I suppose." The look on the two brothers faces made me laugh, they looked genuinely ecstatic about an empty deodorant can.

After that the conversation died down. The terrain became rocky and unstable and we all found ourselves tripping over our own feet and sliding around. Except for Gandalf, of course.

At one point, on a particularly steep section of Carrock I slipped backwards, and with a squeak I braced myself for bruised bum to add to my list of never ending injuries. But, thankfully, someone scooped their arms under mine, catching me mid-fall and pushing me back up. I turned around to thank my savour and found Fili standing there, he wasn't looking at me, and his body visibly tensed when I turned to him.

"Thanks." I muttered, before quickly hurrying back to fall into step with Dwalin.

Dwalin seemed to sense my damped spirit though, and once he was finished jumping down a sudden drop in the rocks he turned to me, holding out his hand for me to take. I did, using the extra support to ungracefully scramble down myself.

"You're small for a human, you know?" He commented. I think he was jesting, at least I hope he was, I was still taller than him.

"Erm, exsqueeze me? I'll have you know I'm average height, thank you very much." I scoffed defensively and Dwalin snorted. I buffed out my chest and draw myself to my full height, ignoring the ache in my shoulder from the movement. "Anyway, the best things came in small packages."

Dwalin chuckled in response to that and I smiled.

By the time we reached the bottom of Carrock it was nearly midday, and I was sweating like a fat kid in a sweet shop. It was unusually hot, and I had to keep fanning myself to stay cool.

It was then that I saw a river, it's crystal clear, cool waters shimmering temptingly in the bright sun.

"Can we stop for a wash?" I asked desperately, directing my question to Thorin but speaking loud enough for everyone to hear. I got the reaction I was after and everyone chorused an agreement. To my utter surprise Thorin agreed without much fuss, and I set off to find a secluded part of the river upstream from the gaggle of stinky Dwarves. Obviously I didn't want to bathe with them.

"Don't go too far, lass." Warned Dwalin, and I simply waved him off.

I eventually found a part of the river that was sheltered by a small group of trees and set my stuff down on the bank. I began to rummage through my holdall, pulling out some clean underwear and a bar of soap I'd nicked from Rivendell. Pfft, as if they'd miss it.

I was suddenly thankful that I always over packed when it came to knickers. I double the amount of knickers I need for the amount of days. For instance, I went to London for three days (Oh, Lord, that feels like years ago now), so in theory I brought six knickers with me. But in fact I had brought seven because I'm stupid and miscounted. Why did Gandalf choose me again?

I pulled out a clean top too, it was the top I slept in whilst in London as my other tops were pretty blouses and vests and not exactly suitable for rambling around. I grabbed a clean bra also, a pair of non-matching socks (life's too short to find matching socks) and a pair of cotton shorts that I also had slept in. They were baby blue with little white dots on them and completely clashed with my forest green top that read 'campers... do it in the mud' in brown lettering. But who gives a toss?

I then rather reluctantly stripped off, feeling totally weird for bathing fully nude in the wilderness. So far on our travels I'd stopped whenever possible to wash my face or whatever but never have I properly returned to nature so... well... nakedly.

The water was of course freezing, but felt quite nice against my boiling hot skin and the humid air. I quickly washed, running the soap through my hair and over my body. I did try to keep my bandages dry, but in the end I had removed the one on my ankle before clambering out of the water. I pulled on my underwear and then sat on the bank for a little while to dry off in a sunny patch. Whilst doing so I grabbed my hair brush and ran it through my hair a few times before pulling my hair into a wet, messy bun. Once I thought I was dry enough I pulled my shorts and top on, followed by my socks and shoes. I also rummaged through my bag and pulled out my perfume and sprayed myself behind each ear and on my chest. I then packed everything up and gave myself a quick pat down to make sure I had everything. I quickly ran my hand over my leg, heavenly thankful that for ninety percent of my pubescent life I had been a waxer, and thanks to this the hairs on my legs were fine and blonde.

And with that I slung my holdall over my shoulder, and sauntered back towards where I knew the company was, dragging my sword lazily behind me as I did so.

I felt surprisingly good bearing in mind two days ago I got shot in the shoulder, and although it still hurt, I'd become used to the pain.

I joined the company in the shade of a large tree. They had already washed and were now either lounging around in the sun or sparring while Bombur prepared lunch.

I dropped my holdall down on the grass heavily and stretched, winching at my shoulder and squeezing my eyes shut. When I reopened them, however, I found everyone staring at me. I paused mid-stretch.

"What?" I asked, slowly lowing my arms and feeling suddenly extremely self-conscious. When I got no answer I repeated myself, "What?" I glanced down at myself and it suddenly dawned on me. "Is it because I'm wearing shorts?"

A few of the Dwarves muttered in response and Bilbo looked utterly horrified. So horrified in fact it was hilarious and I hooted a laugh before plonking myself down on the grass.

"Oh please, this is nothing. Don't act like you've never seen a pair of legs before."

Before I even finished my sentence Kili's nose was suddenly in my holdall.

"Do you mind, Kils?" I raised my bow at him as he continued to root around, and then to my absolute horror he pulled out a bright orange thong. "No Kili!" I yelled, leaping forwards in an attempt to grab him- or the knickers.

But he was too quick and held them away from me, "What are these?"

"Kili, give them back!" I jumped forwards once more, launching myself onto him and toppling over.

"What are they?" He repeated through our struggle, wrestling away from me.

"They're my underwear! Kili!"

In one swift, effortless move he pushed me off him and scrambled up, holding the bright material up to his face (they were clean ones.)

"_These_ are underwear?" He looked at me in complete disbelief.

"Yes, now would you mind?" I held out my hand for them, like a mother would with a child, but in response Kili grinned devilishly before pinging them. Yes, _pinging_ my underwear like a slingshot across the company and to my horror they landed right next to Fili.

He simply blinked at them and I quickly swooped in, avoiding eye contact and snatching them off the ground with a hot face. I turned on my heel to find Kili once again rooting through my holdall. I growled.

He then pulled out a bra.

"KilI! Seriously, enough with my underwear!" I marched over and snatched my bra from his grip, my face hot.

"How can you call that underwear? There's nothing of it." Bofur chimed, grabbing my bra off me and holding it up in inspection.

I groaned, "Just because I don't wear baby grows like you lot."

"But there's nothing of it! What even is it?" He put my bra on his head and I quickly snatched it back with a scowl.

Turning back I found Kili sniffing my perfume. "Don't waste that, it's expensive."

"What is all this?" Kili then pulled out my makeup bag, bouncing it in his hands.

"Makeup." I snapped, "Put that back it's worth more than you."

"Makeup?"

"Yes, stuff you put on your face. Well, girls mainly."

"Sounds like a lot of effort." He replied, dropping the makeup bag back in my holdall and continued to rummage around. "Why would you put it on your face?"

"Because it makes us look nicer."

"For what?" Ori asked and I sighed again.

"I don't know, people? Ourselves? _Boys_?"

"Why would you want to look nice for... _Ohh_!" Kili suddenly seemed to put two and two together, and his face filled with wonder. "Like _sex_?" He whispered, but his whisper voice was like anyone's normal voice.

"What? No! Not necessarily anyway..." I trailed off, this conversation was heading into dangerous territory and it was speedily becoming painfully embarrassing. I wanted to stop the conversation but Kili seemed to have other ideas.

I lowered myself down on the grass next to Bilbo, my face turning red.

"Have you had sex?" Kili blurted the question and although Thorin was engaged in his own conversation with Balin and Dwalin he was still quick to tell him off.

"Kili!" He growled, glowering at the young Dwarf. Kili hung his head and I let out a hoot of laughter at his embarrassment.

"Have you not then?" I snickered, "How old are you? You must be older than I am."

"I'm seventy-seven." He replied, "And no, I haven't." I swear to God he blushed.

"Okay, seriously Kils. How old are you?" I laughed.

Kili looked confused, "I'm seventy-seven," He blinked at me with a frown, "How old are you then?"

"Wait." I ignored him and swung round to Fili, "How old are you?"

"I'm eighty-two." He replied and I literally chocked on my own breath.

"What?!" I screamed in utter alarm, "You're eighty-two?! You're older than my grandma! Oh my God, I kissed an eighty-two year old!"

"You kissed?!" Thorin boomed, _obviously_ getting the priorities mixed up. He turned and glared at Fili, "When was this?"

"Thorin, please, the big picture here!" I turned back to Fili who was looking completely torn, "You're eighty-two?! How long do Dwarves live for?!"

"About two hundred and fifty years, lass." Balin chipped in and my expression cooled.

I thought for a moment before calming completely down, "Oh." I then remembered my train of thought and hooted another laugh at Kili, "So you're seventy-seven years old and never done the dirty? Oh, Kils."

"Hey!" He defended, his cheeks brushing pink, "Neither's Fili!"

"Kili!" Fili scowled and I laughed again.

"I think we should move on." Balin commented, looking disapprovingly at us.

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"So what's it like?"

"What?" I turned to find Kili walking beside me. We were on the move again, and heading towards a heavily wooded area.

"You know." Kili bobbed his head around lightly, obviously not watching to say the word and keeping his voice low. I noticed him shooting a glance in Thorin's direction, obviously to check that his Uncle wasn't eavesdropping again.

I scoffed, "It's alright." I shrugged.

Kili looked visibly disappointed, "Just alright?"

I shrugged again, "Yeah."

"I thought it was supposed to be magical and special?"

"It's been ages, Kili." I laughed, "To be honest I can't really remember. I've never had any magical and special experiences anyway."

Kili thought for a moment, "Maybe because you've never been with the right person?"

I didn't reply to that, and mentally slapped myself when my thoughts trailed to Fili.

The company soon stopped walking, and Gandalf sent Bilbo off to scout for any dangers. Whilst waiting for him I dared a glance towards Fili who seemed to be in deep conversation with Thorin, and although they were talking in whispers it was apparent their words were heated. Fili seemed visibly glum, and Thorin looked furious. Every so often Thorin would glance over to me and once he even pointed, I tried to look away in time whenever he did, however. I suddenly felt guilty and waited for Thorin to be finished with Fili before slinking over to him.

"You okay?" I asked carefully.

"Yes." Fili almost snapped.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing."

"Obviously it wasn't about nothing." I scoffed, trying to smile at him but he was ignoring me, or at least he was trying to.

I watched Fili's jaw clench a few times and I sighed, "I do care about you, Fili." I spoke quietly, my heart aching and my stomach heavy.

Fili finally looked at me, and although his expression was hard his eyes looked almost sad. "You have been with other men?"

I frowned, not understanding the relevance, "Yes?"

"How many?"

"A few." I replied, and the way he followed my words with a wince, like someone had kicked him in the gut made me frown. "Where I'm from it's normal." Why do I feel the need to justify my actions?

Fili didn't reply, he didn't look like he had any words left for me and he simply walked away looking utterly broken and leaving me standing there feeling, for some reason, incredibly guilty.

I turned to follow him, but a flying Bilbo stopped me in my tracks. He came whizzing past me and headed straight for Gandalf.

"We need to go!" He puffed, bending over and resting his hands on his knees.

"How close is the pack?" Thorin asked.

"A couple of leagues, no more,"

My heart began to hammer in my chest at his words, the feeling of dread I'd come well accustomed to creeping up my spine.

"But that's not the worst of it." Oh fantastic.

"The Wargs picked up our scent." Dwalin cut in, almost accusingly as it was clear he didn't say it to be a question.

"Not yet, but they will do. But we have another problem," Bilbo puffed, and opened his mouth to continue but was again interrupted.

"Did they see you?" Gandalf questioned sternly. "They saw you."

"No," Bilbo puffed, "That's not it-"

"What did I tell you?" Gandalf cut in again, "Quiet as a mouse!"

The entire company began to chorus an agreement, but I stood a little way back from the group, frowning hard and watching Bilbo as he began to fluster.

"Excellent Burglar material!" Gandalf continued.

"No-no, listen-" Bilbo tried to talk but over the noise of the Dwarves he could barely get a word in edgeways. It didn't take long for Bilbo to pop though, and his flustering escalated until he exclaimed loudly: "Would you just listen?! I'm trying to tell you there is something else out there."

Everyone fell silent, and I inwardly groaned, running my fingers through my still slightly damp hair. I squeezed my eyes shut, and when I opened them again I caught Fili watching me. But he quickly looked away.

"What form did it take?" Gandalf spoke slowly, "Like a bear?"

"Ye… Yes." Bilbo replied, confused. "But bigger, much bigger."

"You knew about this beast?" Bofur accused, looking as scared as we all felt.

Gandalf turned away then.

"I say we turn back." Bofur suggested.

"And be run down by a pack of Orcs." Thorin finished.

A small bickering broke out, but it was short lived.

"There is a house," Gandalf spoke loudly enough to silence the Dwarves, "it's not too far from here where we… might take refuge."

I couldn't help but detect a hint of uncertainty in his words.

"Who's house?" Thorin growled. By now we'd all discovered Gandalf's words always had a catch, "Are they friend or foe?"

"Neither. He will help us or he will kill us." Fantastic.

"What choice do we have?"

I opened my mouth to comment but a loud roar cut me off, my blood ran so cold I think I turned to ice from the inside out.

"None." Gandalf replied.

And with that we were off again, running through the rest of the forest until we reached the vast fields on the other side.

If I wasn't in so much of a panic I definitely would have stopped to admire the view, as the ground was carpeted with sweet smelling plants and happily buzzing bees. However, we had an unidentified beast on our tail so there was no time for ogling over the landscape.

My bad ankle meant I trailed behind the others, and I hobbled along in pure, blinding agony.

Just as we cleared another huddle of trees a large wooden house game into view, and as soon as it did there was another deafening roar. Out of pure torture my ankle gave way, I slipped and went crashing to the ground in a scream.

I cried out in pain, tears brimming my eyes I pulled my ankle towards me and let a beautiful rainbow of cusses spew from my lips.

I thought I was a goner, literally I thought this was how I was finally going to die. But just as there was another ear piercing roar –this one louder and closer than the last—I felt someone lean over me.

"Come on!"

All I saw as I was pulled up and slung over someone's shoulder was a smudge of gold. I was overcome with pain, my breathing was shallow and I struggled to keep my eyes open.

"Open the door!" I heard someone ahead yell and I squeezed my eyes tightly shut in a mixture of terror and pain, letting out a whimper I reached down and grabbed the back of whoever was carrying me, holding the material of their coat tightly in my fists.

Before I knew it I was pushed onto wooden floor. Shouting, yelling and chaos revolved around me, but I felt as though I was in my own little bubble. With my eyes half lidded I heard a loud slam before everyone went more or less silent.

"What was that?" I heard someone ask, but I was too out of it to differentiate voices.

"That," Gandalf replied in his cryptic tone, "Was our host."

With that I let out a loud groan, sliding down the wall I was propped up against and finally shutting my eyes.

I heard a shuffling of footsteps and then felt a hand on my forehead.

"Get the lass some water." A voice commanded and I opened my eyes to find Oin watching me with concern.

"I'm fine." I wheezed, my breathing erratic and heavy. An animal skin water carrier was thrust in front of my face and I gratefully took it, chugging the entire contents down.

"Give the girl some air." Oin shooed, wafting Bofur, Ori, Bombur, Bilbo and Dwalin away with his hand. I hadn't even noticed they were there and reluctantly they dispersed, Dwalin shot me a concerned look as he walked away towards his brother.

Oin set about re-bandaging my ankle, which had now swollen to the size of a tennis ball.

The Dwarves began to shuffle about the large wooden house, which I now noticed smelt like honey, vanilla and pollen. I smirked to myself, thinking how if my sister was here she'd be having a hay-fever induced asthma attack right now.

As my eyes wandered the building, every so often squeezing them shut to stop my vision blurring, I caught sight of Fili watching me. He looked totally dishevelled and reminded me of a baby lion cub at this moment in time.

I held his gaze all the way up until Oin had finished binding my ankle.

"All finished, lass." He said proudly, and for a moment I think he forgot who I was for he gave my ankle an affectionate smack.

"Thank-Ouch!"

"Sorry, lass." He smiled at me before walking away and shoving his finger in his ear.

I sighed and pulled my busted ankle towards me, a firm scowl fixed on my face. I still felt utterly sick, but now I wasn't so panicked, terrified, dehydrated and blinded my agony I did feel better. Although I felt totally drained and weak, and I was still in shock.

"Fili?" I called out, looking around for him. I tried to move but as soon as I put a tiny amount of weight on my ankle I winced. Instantly I felt a firm hand on my shoulder, I turned to find Fili there watching me with a look of concern.

"Careful." He said soothingly, pushing me back down gently. "Here." He offered me a pillow and I gratefully took it and put it behind me to rest my back against it.

"Will you sit with me?" I asked, and although he seemed hesitant at first he complied, slowly lowering himself down beside me.

For a moment there was an awkward silence, until I finally bit the bullet and spoke.

"Did you come back for me out there?" I asked, looking up at him. He seemed stiff sitting beside me, and although I knew it shouldn't, it broke my heart.

"Yes." He replied, and I realised just how much I'd missed his company, his smile, and his personality. It felt like months since I'd seen him smile truly at me.

"Thank you." I said, wishing desperately that he would look at me. "Why won't you look at me?"

"I don't want to."

I flinched, visibly flinched. His words hurt more than the arrow did. I swallowed a sob and looked away, my eyes stinging and brimming with tears. I fell silent and I felt him move away. When he left my shoulders shook, a flood of tears threatening to break the banks.

"Come on, lass."

I felt a pair of strong arms around my waist and before I knew it I was pulled up. With Dwalin's help I hobbled silently into another room, away from the rest of the company.

As soon as I'd heard him shut the door I burst into tears.

Hysterical, embarrassing, nose running, hiccupping tears.

I tried to speak, but all that came out was a string of inaudible nonsense. I knew Dwalin couldn't understand a word that I was saying around my sniffing, sobbing and hiccupping but I ranted anyway. I waffled on for a good ten minutes before I finally fell silent, slowly blinking my vision free of tears to not only find Dwalin standing before me, but Bilbo also. Blimey, he was silent.

"I'm sorry, lass, but I didn't catch any of that." Dwalin spoke softly- uncharacteristically softly.

"I want to go home." I sobbed, "I miss home. I miss my friends, I miss my family. I miss my life. I don't want to be here anymore." I sobbed some more, burying my face in my hands. "I'm so scared." I was seated on large, cushioned stall and I suddenly felt a soft material against the back of my palm. Uncovering my face I found Bilbo standing there, trying to wipe my tears away with a relatively clean hanky. I tried to smile at him, but my bottom lip just quivered.

"I feel like that too." Bilbo spoke softly, and I saw Dwalin take a step forward just so he could hear him. "I miss second-breakfast the most. And my cosy bed, and my warm hearth. But the safety of The Shire is a long way away."

I sniffed, "Really?"

"Of course, we all do. We all miss our home comforts. Even Dwalin does too, right Dwalin?"

I knew they were being civil just for me, and the sentiment was enough to make my heart swell and a few fresh tears rolled down my cheeks. It wasn't unknown amongst the company that Dwalin had a chip on his shoulder about Bilbo's presence in the company, but there he stood, eyeing Bilbo up and wracking his brains for an answer.

I almost half expect Dwalin to reply with a snide comment, some sort of mockery to put Bilbo down- like he usually did. But instead, and I knew he did it just for me, for my sake, he replied with a civil:

"Ay. I miss decent plumping."

My bottom lip began to quiver again and I looked down at my hands. "I miss my brother and sister."

"I didn't know you had a brother, lass?"

I shrugged, wiping away a fresh tear before Bilbo poked at my face with his hanky again. "He died two years ago. He was a soldier. I don't like to talk about him much."

"A soldier?" Dwalin seemed almost surprised.

"Yeah, in the army. He was killed by friendly-fire."

I knew neither of them knew what that meant, and I was thankful that neither of them asked. Instead I sniffed again, and Bilbo pushed his hanky into my nose.

"Blow." He commanded, and I did. He then wiped my nose clean.

"Thank you." I mumbled.

"What set all this off?" Bilbo asked, tucking a stray hair behind my ear.

"Everything just got to me." I replied, almost ashamed of myself.

Bilbo opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off by a knock on the door.

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_Aaaaaaah_

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	15. Hay-Fever

I instantly sucked in a breath and held it, looking nervously between Bilbo and Dwalin who were both watching the door.

"Who is it?" Bilbo finally called.

"It's us!" Came Bofur's reply.

"We want to see if the lass is alright." Added Bombur and I heard a loud grunt from Bifur through the wooden door.

At their words I pulled a shaky smile, my heart swelling with appreciation at their affection.

"Erm, she'll be out in a bit." Replied Bilbo hesitantly, glancing at me as my bottom lip quivered again.

"Does she need anything?" Came Bofur's voice.

I sighed, "A hug." I muttered. I obviously underestimated the strength of Dwarven hearing because next thing I knew the door swung violently open, and through it came a blur of orange and black.

I barely had time to squeak before I was ploughed into and embraced in a hug so forceful I was nearly knocked off my chair. I would have winced in the pain that coursed through my shoulder but I didn't care, I was far too preoccupied with enjoying Bombur's squishy hug to care about pain right now. I felt a million times better instantly, obvious the affection was just what I needed. I was one of those people that would hide my true emotions away until they finally escalated and popped, which is what had happened. I'd finally popped.

"What's wrong, lass? Have you been crying?" Bofur asked when they eventually pulled away, not that I'd wanted them to. I needed some TLC right now.

"No." I lied, sniffing.

"She has hay-fever." Dwalin said, watching me with concern.

"Yes!" I exclaimed, wiping my nose with the back of hand, "There's so much pollen, it's giving my sinuses a hard time."

"Ah, m'mam had that," Bofur nodded understanding and I raised my eyebrow, "She said shoving vanilla pods up your nose helps."

"I'm not doing that." I replied with a snicker, feeling immensely better.

"I know what'll make you feel better, lass." Bombur smiled, clapping his hand on my shoulder.

"What's that?"

"Dinner."

I smiled and nodded. "I'll be out in a second."

Bombur, Bifur and Bofur all nodded happily and left, leaving the door ajar in their wake.

With Bilbo's help I slid off the chair and turned to face him, "Thank you." I pulled him into a tight hug. I was truly thankful for his presence. He rubbed my back in understanding, and I let him go and smiled at him.

"Whatever it is that bothers you, Miss Olivia. We're all here for you." He said, smiling positively up at me.

I grinned at him, my eyes watering a little with joy, "Thank you, so much." I said again before turning to Dwalin.

Dwalin was in his usual stance, back straight and chest puffed out. But I ignored his intimidating persona and moved towards him. "Thank you." I smiled weakly at him, before hugging him also.

For a moment Dwalin just stood there awkwardly, obviously not knowing how to react. But I pulled away, unfazed by his awkwardness and sniffed.

As we made our way back to the rest of the company I couldn't help but smile. Although my problems were still evidently there, I began to realise that maybe asking for help wasn't all that bad. I was still ashamed at myself for showing weakness and embarrassing myself by crying but I knew I could trust Dwalin and Bilbo, and maybe, just maybe, all of this won't be so bad if I had the company's support. Maybe everything would be alright.

The three of us entered the main room. Dwalin quickly left to join Thorin and Balin on one side of the room and I stayed with Bilbo.

"There you are, lass!" Called Bofur who was perched on a huge wooden chair, "Oh! And there's that smile!" He flashed his cheeky grin and I could help but grin also.

"What happened?" Ori asked, looking between me and Bofur.

I looked down at him on the floor, ignoring the fact Fili was sitting a little way behind him against the wall, watching me with an unreadable expression.

"Oh nothing," I waved my hand around dismissively, internally I was rebuilding my walls. "I had a hay-fever attack."

Ori looked like he understood and turned away again. I turned to sit beside Bombur but before I could Bifur blocked my path, holding up two dried vanilla pods and waving them in my face.

"I'm not putting those up-ah!" I held my nose, pulling back out one of the pods Bifur had unexpectedly shoved up my right nostril. "Bifur!" I gasped, sneezing once, then twice, then thrice and holding my stinging nose.

Instantly the entire company erupted into a booming round of laughter, even Thorin was chuckling a bit and I scowled, putting the hand that wasn't still holding my nose on my hip.

"Yeah, real funny." I said sarcastically over their laughter, my voice pitchy from holding my nose, although this only seemed to make the all laugh harder and Bofur rolled off the huge chair from laughing so hard.

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That night is was freezing.

Despite the warmth of the day the night temperature had plummeted. We'd all wanted to start a fire by Gandalf had told us no and that we were staying in someone's house uninvited and helping ourselves to a fire wouldn't be a good idea.

I had pulled a jumper on and my old trackie bottoms, as well as rolling myself in to blanket like a little slug, but even then I was still shivering.

The soft snores from the company and the occasional shuffle from an animal was all that could be heard through the dead silence of the house. I tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable and unable to sleep from cold and pain.

"Olivia?"

I stopped mid roll. "Sorry." I whispered, assuming my movements were bothering someone.

"Are you alright?"

I turned my head, blinking through the darkness but found no one standing or showing any sign of consciousness.

"Jesus, is that you?" I asked the ceiling hesitantly. Instantly someone across from me sat up, looking at me through the dim light with a puzzled expression.

"No, it's Fili."

"Oh."

"Can't you sleep?" He asked, still sitting up and speaking no louder than a whisper.

"Can't you?"

"Obviously not." He nearly snapped, then he sighed. "Sorry."

There was a few moments silence where I didn't know what to say. I turned over again, looking away from him.

I had just shut my eyes in an attempt to sleep when he spoke again.

"It's a little cold, don't you think?"

I frowned, my eyes still closed. "It's bloody freezing." I scoffed a laugh.

From across from me I heard movement, and before I knew it something soft and warm landed on me. Immediately I opened my eyes, turning and blinking up through the darkness as Fili rested his own blanket on me.

"Aren't you cold?" I asked quietly.

"A little." He replied, and without thinking I shuffled around a bit before lifting one side of the blankets, offering him to join me.

At first he was hesitant, but slowly he lowered himself down and moved under the blankets also.

The covers weren't big, so we were pressed awkwardly shoulder to shoulder, but instantly his presence warmed me up, from the outside and the inside.

I glanced up at him. He was staring up at the ceiling with a firm frown on his face.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I inquired, watching as his furrowed brow softened. But he still didn't look at me.

"It's nothing." Came his deadpan reply. My heart began to hammer in my chest as I looked at him, my eyes trailing over his face.

"It doesn't look like nothing." I countered. Under the blankets I found his large hand and laced our fingers together. His palm was so warm against my icy cold fingers and although he didn't pull away, he still didn't look at me.

"I'm just thinking." He finally replied.

"About what?"

"You."

"Me?"

"No, the other you." He replied sarcastically and I pursed my lips.

"Someone's eggy."

"I'm not '_eggy'_." I removed my hand from his and he sighed, "I'm sorry."

"What're you think about? Why're you in a mood with me?"

He finally looked at me, his crystal eyes twinkling in the low light of the moon. The look he gave me spoke a thousand words.

"You're jealous!" I nearly shouted, but I quickly bit my tongue and lowered my voice. "You're pissy that I've been with other men?"

Fili frowned and looked away again. "It's not a joke."

I was trying to cover up my grin, but I was doing a poor job of it. I knew how he felt, my first boyfriend wasn't a virgin and upon finding out I felt less... special. From what I've learnt about the Dwarves they have high expectations, and the way Kili described it partnerships were obviously a big deal. My smile faded when I realised how Fili must be feeling, he believed I was his One, and to find out his One had given herself to other men (although only a few, thank you very much) must be demoralising and well... Gutting. Not to mention the impression it would impose on him, if it was anything like the olden days well then it would be better scandalous. Although, saying that the rest of the company didn't seem particularly bothered.

"What bothers you so much about it? It's really not a big deal Fili." I eventually said.

"Not a big deal?" He turned to me again, his gaze hardened with hurt, "You're supposed to be mine, yet you belong to others also."

I shook my head, "I don't belong to anyone. Not even you. I'm not an object."

"You know what I mean, Olivia."

"Don't get all 'Olivia' on me." I huffed. "Fillian."

His expression softened and he smirked, "Fillian?"

"Yes. Fillian."

He looked away, still smirking slightly, "Is that a pet name?"

"No, that's your telling off name. Whenever you're naughty that's what I'm going to call you."

There was a long pause and then he sighed, "What am I going to do with you?"

I think the question was supposed to rhetorical but I answered anyway. "You could stop being such a drama queen and get over my history? Which, may I add, is an entire world away." I rolled onto my side to face him.

He seemed to think for a moment, "Did they mean anything to you?"

"I'm not going to apologise for my past, Fili. I don't regret anything." His face turned into a frown again, "But at the time I thought they meant something to me. I now realise that on the scale of things they were merely a drop in the ocean."

His face soothed again and he turned to me, propping himself on his side also. "Will you forgive me for how I've acted towards you?" He asked suddenly and for a moment I just blinked at him, totally surprised.

"Forgive you? Fili, you saved my life. I don't think I could ever be mad at you again." I raised my hand and cupped his cheek, the harsh bristles of his beard tickling the skin of my palm.

He tilted his head into my hand, placing soft kiss in my palm. "And I'd do it again, miz azyung."

Before I had a chance to reply he'd leant forward and pressed his lips to mine. I instantly succumbed to him and let his lips move softly along with mine. I began to relax, sliding my arms around his neck and pulling him closer to me. I leant back, pulling Fili with me until he was leaning over me, one hand on the side of my face and the other tangled in my hair as he leant on his elbows.

I felt his tongue slide into my mouth and I instantly melted against him, purring quietly into his mouth. He responded by tightening his grip on my hair, pulling gently and his other hand slide from my face, down my neck and over my collar bone to where it hovered hesitantly over my breast. I smirked against his lips, quietly revelling in his shyness.

It was over all too soon, and Fili pulled away from me, planting one more kiss on my forehead before laying back down. Instantly I crawled into him, nestling myself under his arm and resting my head on his chest. We were contently silent for quite some time, and I slowly trailed my fingers up and down his torso and watched his chest rise and fall. It wasn't long before I heard him begin to snore, and I smiled.

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The next morning I awoke feeling extremely warm, hot actually. Boiling hot.

I blinked my eyes open and frowned when I found myself in darkness, not an unpleasant darkness though, but it was awfully stuffy and smelt a lot like sweaty men. Uck.

I stretched out, nearly blinding myself when my hand burst through a piece of fabric and flooded my little cocoon with light.

"Oh, look! There's movement!" I heard someone yell, but their voice was muffled. I slowly began to move around, trying to work out what was on me and why it was so heavy. Eventually I shoved the fabric away, watching in confusion as the entire company's coat collection came tumbling off me.

I blinked up at the company as they sat on the large wooden table that was now laden with food. They seemed to read my expression, however, because Dwalin simply replied:

"You looked cold."

I simply grunted in response, pushing myself up off the floor and stumbling slightly, before making my way over the company, being careful not to step on a sleeping Bilbo as I did so.

As I neared the table a large figure emgurged from another room and I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Good Morning." The giant said and I simply 'umm'ed and 'aah'ed for a while, completely lost for words as the huge, shirtless, hairy man walked towards the table of Dwarves and went about filling their huge mugs with white liquid.

"Morning." I eventually squeaked and Gandalf chuckled.

"Olivia, dear, this is Beorn. He is a skin changer."

"I suppose I must apologise for my behaviour last night." Beorn said, looking down on me and not looking remotely sorry.

"T-that was you?" I stuttered. Oh, my God I think I'm going to poo my pants. He could eat me he's so huge!

"Yes, it was. I hope I didn't scare you."

"Pfft, no. Not at all." I replied, and from the far end of the table I heard Fili snort into his mug. Beorn seemed to smile knowingly at me and gestured for me to take a seat. I did, quickly scrambling over towards Dwalin and pulling myself onto the wooden bench beside him.

"Cream?" Dwalin offered, pushing his mug towards me and not sounding remotely impressed by it.

"Cream?" I repeated curiously, leaning forward and sniffing it. I don't know what I was expecting to smell, because cream doesn't actually smell like much. So I pulled it towards me and tilted it carefully to take a sip. "Oh, my. That's rich." I coughed a bit and thumped my fist to my chest. I then spied the rest of the table, "Oh! Jam!"

After Bilbo had finally woken up (and I thought I was a late sleeper) we'd discovered Beorn wasn't a Dwarf fan, but thankfully he hated Orcs more (yay?) and so he decided to help us. Thorin, of course, couldn't resist a few snide marks here and there and I began to wonder if Thorin did truly have a death wish. I mean, seriously, Beorn was humungous and Thorin was just about five foot. Little ankle biter. Small man syndrome for sure.

I was thankful, however, that Thorin had agreed to let us rest here for a few days, and seemingly Beorn was allowing us free run of his house as he never seemed to be here. Gandalf kept vanishing also, which was a little annoying.

However, I was enjoying the sun with Bilbo. Happily minding my own business when a shadow loomed over me. Peaking one eye open from my position sun bathing on the floor I found Thorin standing over me.

"Hello?" I greeted nervously, sitting up and propping myself on my elbows.

"A word." He grunted, and although in some ways it was a request, he certainly didn't ask it as a question. He began to walk away, obviously knowing I'd soon follow. Which I did, of course.

I hobbled along beside him, limping on my bad ankle slightly. "Everything alright?"

He led me a little further from the company before replying, his face solemn. "I believe you are Fili have finally sorted out your differences."

"I think so?" I replied uncertainly. Truth be told I had barely spoken to him today. After breakfast I went straight to hang around with Bilbo, and have been ever since. Fili seemed quite happily sparring with Kili all morning and who was I to interrupt that?

"I trust you know what Dwarven courting entails. Especially when it is to a Prince."

"Erm, not really."

"Well then let me tell you. One day you will be expect to be Queen, which means running your share of a Kingdom." Oh poo. "Your duty as Fili's wife will be to care for him no matter what, he may be injured in battle and it is your responsibly to stay with him. You must accept the fact he may go out on a quest and never return, he may go to battle and come back terminally wounded. Are you willing to uphold these responsibilities and accept these consequences?"

I blinked at Thorin, totally lost for words. However, he didn't wait for a reply; "As soon as you're wed you will be expected to produce an heir as soon as possible. Without an heir if anything was to happen to Fili you will lose the throne."

"Fili might die?" I chocked on my own words, and although it sounded completely stupid bearing in mind the quest we were on, I hadn't actually considered it.

Thorin's expression seemed to soften, "Fili is a warrior, he always has been and he always will be. There will be many battles that he will have to lead. You must accept that upon tying yourself with him you are accepting the chances of fate. You must understand that."

"But I don't have a choice?" I asked, completely dead inside. The idea of it being Fili's duty to go head first into any danger scared me right to my very core. If I agreed to his courtship I was agreeing to the responsibility of being his _wife_. His _**wife**_.

"You always have a choice." Thorin replied sullenly before clapping his hand on my shoulder and walking away. Leaving me standing there like a dummy, my eyes wide and my mouth hanging slightly open. From the corner of my vision I saw Fili come jogging over to me.

All I could think of was the thought of him dying. It killed me inside. If I went through with this with Fili I was signing myself up to be a potential widow and I would have to accept that and live with it for my entire life. It would be Fili's responsibility to run a Kingdom, and it would be my responsibility to pick up the pieces.

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_Aaaaaaah I hope that end bit made sense!_

_I was basically trying to say that if she accepect Fili's courtship she must accept the responibilites that come with it, including the chance he could die._

_Dun dun dunnnnnn_

_Erm._

_Yeah_

_I hope you liked it!_

_PLEASE let me know what you think about this chapter, I know it wasn't very exciting._

_I love your reviews, your all so wonderful!_

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_Thank you!_

_Also, I'm SOOOO sorry if there's any spelling mistakes or anything, it's midnight now and I'm literally falling asleep and I really cba to proof read it! Sorry!_

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_LOVE YA_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_


	16. Let Me In

_Mild language in this chapter xxxx_

"Is everything alright?"

I stared at Fili with painfully wide eyes as he came to a stop in front of me. When I didn't reply he placed a hand on my shoulder, but I instantly flinched away at the contact.

"Olivia?" He peered at me with concern, his eyebrows knitted together with worry.

I choked on my words.

"Yup." I quickly replied, making a move to step around him, but he grabbed the back of my top and pulled me back.

"What did Thorin just say to you?"

Am I really that readable?

I stared at him, getting lost in the whirl pools of his blue eyes. I didn't want him to die.

My heart heaved at the thought and I shook my head. My mind was in turmoil.

I couldn't be with him, could I? I couldn't be a wife, a mother, let alone a queen! Thorin had said I had a choice, but Dwalin had said I essentially didn't. Do I run now and save my own heart ache if the worst was to happen? Or do I stick by him, help him and be there for him?

The thing was, even if I ran now I think I'm already in too deep not to suffer if the worst was to happen.

_If_.

It might not. I've seen Fili fight, he's more than capable of look after himself, right?

I chewed on a reply slowly, all the while Fili watched me with growing concern. He then slowly took my right hand and help it in his. His hand was rough and calloused, but it was also large and warm. In his arms I felt safe, invincible like no one could touch me.

I watched our hands entwine for a long moment before finally raising my gaze back to him, he was still watching me.

"I don't want you to die." I eventually chocked out.

Fili's brow softened and his lips parted slightly in shock. But in the end he smiled meekly.

"I'm not going to." He replied.

I let out a long, shaky breath. I'm such a coward.

"Excuse me." I pulled from his grasp and brushed past him, rubbing the back of my neck as stressed built in my muscles.

We were supposed to be on a quest, and Fili was becoming a distraction. I was becoming a distraction for him too, and I didn't want that. He needed to stop risking his life for me and concentrate on his own life. This journey was bigger than me, bigger than him and all this was becoming too much.

"Olivia, wait." I felt Fili grab my wrist and pull me round. He no longer looked concerned, instead he looked frustrated and angry.

Guilt swarmed in my gut.

"Stop messing with my head." His words were suddenly cold, and sadness hung in his eyes. My stomach plummeted. "One moment you're happy with me, and then the next you're running off again. Stop running away from things."

Something began to tick in my brain. He was pushing my buttons, and my defence mode was beginning to kick into gear. 'Stop running away from things' ignited old memories and old turmoil that I had long since buried. Those words hit home far more than I had expected them to. I knew I ran away from pain, I knew I ran away when anything began to get too tough. I always had been like that and no doubt I always will be.

I took a step forward towards him.

"I'm not running away. We need to concentrate and this," I gestured to him and then myself, "is becoming a distraction." I tried to keep my voice low so no one could hear, but emotion ran through every word.

"A distraction? Stop trying to force something away that is fate. You can't change the inevitable. This wouldn't be a distraction if you let it be how it's supposed to be. Stop running away from things your truly afraid of."

"I'm not afraid." I'm petrified.

Fili literally rolled his eyes right in front of my face, "You hide behind this thick skin, hard to reach exterior. Let me in, stop pushing me away. I only want to help."

"Help?" I also hissed, "I'm fine on my own."

This had escalated far more than I'd expected it to, and had uncovered far deeper emotions, old feelings and regrets spread like wild fire through my heart. This was dangerous territory for him to be trespassing on.

"What is it, Olivia? Are you scared I'm going to hurt you?" He watched my expression change, and then by the look on his face he seemed to understand. Damn. "You don't want people to think you're vulnerable. You don't want to _be_ vulnerable.."

I stiffened. The past five years of my life had been an utter nightmare, so I shut myself off to the world. It's so much easier to let people believe that you impenetrable than vulnerable. I hate pity, I hate being weak. I don't need anyone, I haven't for so long and I don't need anyone's help.

I had let Bilbo and Dwalin see me weak. But that was different, Dwalin had sort of subconsciously become my rock, and Bilbo like a sibling.

But Fili.

Fili was just a male, and I sure as hell wasn't going to let him see my true vulnerability.

"And yet you are." Fili continued, peering at me and sussing my out. My jaw clenched.

"Stop it. This has nothing to do with-"

"It has everything to do with this. Stop fighting," He took a step closer to me, his expression suddenly calming and he opened his arms towards me, "If you don't want me to help you then fine. But let me be part of you."

I watched him carefully for a moment, glaring at him as he stood there with his arms raised towards me, waiting for me to fall into his embrace.

I hesitated.

For so long I've been fine on my own, for so long I didn't have anyone. And this? Suddenly I felt as though I had a family, and it was odd. I didn't really know what to do with myself anymore. For years it had been just me, and my sister, we were told to shut up and be quiet for so many years. Told to bottle away our emotions while abuse and hate unrolled into our lives and now… And now I was living with the consequences of mental scarring.

I didn't know what was right and what was wrong. I didn't know how to handle my emotions other than on my own. And the fact Fili was offering to help was well, strange.

Sure, Bilbo and Dwalin had been there for me. But I wasn't going to do that again, that was an accident and the result of simply boiling over. But to actually consciously let someone in?

In three strides I closed to distance between me and Fili and threw my arms around his neck, burying my face into his hair. Instantly he tightened his arms around me and help me there, safely against him.

"Will you stop fighting me now?" He asked quietly before kissing my hair.

I let out another shaky breath, squeezing my eyes shut. "Yes. But I can't promise I can let you in just yet, but I'll try."

I felt Fili's grip tightened around me and I moved my head to plant a love filled kiss on his stubbly cheek.

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"Kils, leave that poor cat alone." I came up behind the brunette Dwarf and pushed him away from the helpless little cat.

"She loves it." Kili tried to push me back, but I had already taken a seat in front of the cat who was still hiding under a cabinet.

"You've scared her shitless, poor thing." I made a few squeaky sounds with my mouth in an attempt to coax the cat out, "Come on, kitty, I won't hurt you. I won't let the mean Dwarf hurt you."

I heard Kili grunt in response but I ignored him and continued to try and entice the kitten out. Eventually she did, and I slowly stroked her head. When she began to purr I scratched her chin.

"How'd you do that?" Kili frowned.

"I didn't chase her and pull her tail."

"It was an accident!"

I made a 'pfft' sound before looking round, "Where's Fili?"

Kili dramatically rolled his eyes, "He's with uncle, leave him alone would you?"

It was evident that he was joking, with his playful smirk and spirited twinkle in his eyes.

I rolled my eyes back at him, "I have left him alone." Embarrassingly enough, since yesterday when we had our little argument I've followed Fili around like some sort of lovesick puppy. He had unlocked something in me that I didn't know I possessed, he reminded me that I could feel something and for some reason I couldn't let him out my sight (I think it may have something to do with Thorin telling me he could die?). I'd finally let someone in, and I didn't want to lose that person. Although, Fili didn't seem to mind my sudden interest in him.

"I saw you squeeze his bottom earlier." Mentioned Kili and I smirked, remembering the look on Fili's face.

I snickered, "Yeah, and?"

"It was naughty."

I hooted a laugh, "Oh, Kils."

"I think it annoyed Thorin."

"Yeah, well, boo Thorin. He hates me anyway so I might as well have some fun."

Kili looked confused, "He doesn't hate you?"

"Erm, I think he does."

"Of course he doesn't. You're basically part of the family now."

I raised my brows. Okay, so I was close to Kili, but I would say I was closer with Bilbo, and Fili, well, I don't know what Fili is to me. But I wouldn't say close enough to be family?

"What?"

"Well, your Fili's One, you're _bound_ to get married when we reclaim Erebor so even now you're practically family."

"We might not get married, Kili." I shrugged off his comment. "And besides, what he said to me yesterday about Fili only confirmed my thoughts that he doesn't want me to be with him."

Kili looked confused, then shook his head, "It wouldn't matter if he wanted you to be with Fili or not, you're Fili's One, his preferences can't over rule that. And I'm sure he only said those things to genuinely warn you, he can come across quite brash sometimes."

Obviously I'd told Fili and Kili what Thorin had said to me, and Bilbo but they didn't know I'd told Bilbo. But what Kili said did make sense, Thorin wasn't one to beat around the bush.

"And," Kili continued, "He doesn't want Fili to get distracted and put himself in danger."

That made sense too. I'd already put Fili in enough danger.

"He said I had a choice though?"

"Yeah, well, you don't so. You're not hurting Fili."

Well, that's that then.

I hadn't even noticed Beorn's cat had wandered off until I reached for her again and found her gone.

"Are you excited to find your One, Kils?" I asked.

Kili shrugged, "It would be nice, but highly unlikely."

I smiled at him comfortingly, "I reckon you'd be a good dad."

Kili grinned, "Really?"

"Yeah! You'd be great fun, a caring too."

Kili winked at me, "I think I'd make a great uncle too."

"Urgh, Kils, way to kill the mood."

"I reckon Fili would make a great dad."

Although I didn't want it to, my heart clenched at the idea of Fili being a dad.

"Oh, God, Kili." I blush furiously, but Kili wasn't exactly tuned into female emotions so he didn't seem to notice.

"You really don't want kids, even now?"

I shrugged.

"Why?"

I shrugged again, "I don't want to put them through what my sister and I went through."

"What was that?"

"Crap, basically. Anyway, come, let's go find something to eat."

I had barely stood when someone clasped me on the shoulder and making me jump.

Swinging round, cursing, I found Dwalin standing there with his usual indifferent expression.

"Jesus, Dwalin! You scared me."

"Aye." He replied simply and not sounding particularly impressed, "Where's that sword of yours, lass?"

I opened and closed my mouth a few times like a fish out of water before scratching my head and looking guilty, "Dunno."

"So if we were to be suddenly attacked you wouldn't be able to defend yourself, would ye?" I knew he was telling me off, and even though I was a full grown adult I hung my head in shame like a child.

"Sorry." I mumbled, watching my feet.

"Well, sorry isn't going to save your life." Suddenly my sword appeared in front of me and I quickly grabbed it from Dwalin's hands.

"Found it."

Dwalin grunted and Kili snickered from behind me. He was probably happy he wasn't being told off for a change.

"Come, lass. I'll teach you how to use it."

"You're going to what now?"

He didn't reply, and instead he led me outside and into the sunshine.

"Do we have to do this now?" I whined, watching as Dwalin turned to face me. "I'm really hungry." Okay, so maybe I wasn't that hungry, at all. But I wanted to eat.

"You can eat after." Replied Dwalin brashly. He then drew his own sword and took stance. "I'm going to run through some of the basic moves with you, got it?" I nodded, "Copy me, lass."

Within ten minutes I was huffing and puffing, and every time I thought Dwalin had looked away I flopped. But of course Dwalin seems to have eyes in the back of his head because he'd always know!

We'd gathered quite the audience too, including Beorn who I'd barely spoken to stood at the gate, watching with an amused expression.

Fili had also reappeared, and he and Kili had taken it upon themselves to snicker every time Dwalin told me off.

"I think I'm doing pretty well for a first timer!" I piped, trying to be an optimist. Dwalin didn't look convinced and returned to stance once again. I groaned, stomping into stance also.

I tried serveral times to tell him my foot and shoulder her (which they did, but not as much as I was making them out to be) but every time he'd just say something like 'an orc won't give you a minute to rest your shoulder, lass' or 'a goblin won't let you have a breather' or my personal favourite 'why don't you make a cup of tea while you at it, eh?'.

By the time Dwalin had finished with me I was face down in the grass.

I felt a shadow cast over me.

"Go away." I said into the dirt.

"We're going to get something to eat." I heard Kili say, and sounding far too amused for my liking.

"It's dinner time." Added Fili, sounding just as amused. Pfft.

"Can you get me when the animals have gone?" I asked. The first night we had dinner here the animals had laid the table, and oh my God it totally freaked me out. I mean, horses were bad enough on their own, but when they lay the table? Erm, no. Just no.

The dogs I could live with. I love dogs, so I'm totally okay with that. But horses in the house, laying tables and cleaning up after you? I'm getting the first nope train to Fuck-Thatville.

I heard a sigh, most likely from Fili because I heard Kili ungraciously snort.

"They're only horses, miz azyung." Fili replied, obviously knowing what I meant. I rolled onto my back and blinked up at him. "What's your problem with them?"

"Their teeth." I grunted, frowning at Kili when he snapped his teeth together a few times like a crocodile.

"Come on." Fili bent down towards me.

"No, Fili! Ah!" He pulled me over his shoulder. Which was weird because I was technically taller than him, although I was smaller. "Fili!" He didn't put me down and began to walk towards the house. I reached down and squeezed his bottom.

He yelped. Like a little puppy he actually yelped and dropped me.

I instantly cracked up laughing, ignoring his scowling expression and the warm feeling pooling in the pit of my stomach and the feel of his _wonderful_ bum. Like seriously, buns of steel.

I made my way into Beorn's house next to Kili, both of still giggling over the expression on Fili's face whilst and after I squeezed his bum. It was genuinely so fun to torment Fili, simply because it was so easy to do.

Never in my life have I ever had as much trouble getting onto furniture like I did at Beorn's table. I mean sure, I was 'short' but I haven't not been able to sit on a bench since I was like three.

I pulled myself up onto the bench next to Bilbo, ignoring the dull aching in my shoulder and foot as I did so.

"I thought you were good with a sword, Olivia. Bearing in mind that was your first time." Bilbo said politely.

I put my hand on my heart and cooed at him, "Really?" I was bloody awful. I knew I was. I spent more time on the ground than standing and I kept dropping my sword. But pfft, a compliments and compliment.

"Better than me." He piped cheerily before taking a bite of bread and honey.

My heart dampened a bit. Oh sod. That's not really saying much, is it, Bilbo?

I didn't voice my concerns and simply offered him a grateful smile before stocking up my own plate with food. Since being here all I've done is more or less sleep and eat. Mainly because once we leave I know I won't be sleeping and eating like this for God knows how long.

Just as I was smothering honey on my bread Beorn strode into the room, with Gandalf close behind and looking worryingly cheerful.

I eyed him suspiciously.

"You will need supplies for your journey, will you not?" Beorn's voice flooded the room like a rolling wave. He spoke loud enough for us all to hear, but his eyes were on Thorin specifically.

Thorin did his majestic nod. "Yes."

"You can take what you need." Beorn replied lazily, "I'm sure I have enough for most of you. Blankets, cloaks and the like. You may also use my horses to get you speedily over the plains."

Thorin nodded his thanks once again, and then resumed eating. The room fell into an awkward silence.

Queue word vomit.

"So, Beorn, do you train these animals yourself?" Phew, for me that was pretty acceptable. I patted a dog's head as it poked at my knees.

Beorns gaze landed on me, and suddenly I felt like a field mouse staring up at a tiger. However, his expression towards me was much softer than it was to Thorin and he nodded politely.

"I do not train them. They are free. It is a partnership."

Oh right, yeah, because you're an animal thing too.

I opened my mouth to say more but a sharp, needle like pain in my calf stopped me. I yelped, and ducked under the table to seek the source of the pain. And there, hanging onto my leg was the kitten from earlier, her claws imbedded into my trousers and skin as she tried to climb up me.

I reached down and pulled her off me, and then sat her on my lap. With one hand I resumed eating and with the other I petted the fluffy little creature. Totally unfazed by this behaviour.

"She likes you." Beorn noted, a small curve to his lips as he wanted me absentmindedly pet the baby.

"I like her, too." I glanced down at the cat, smiling lightly, "I love animals." I then bend down and blew a raspberry on her fluffy head. She purred louder.

I glanced round to see the Dwarves not looking as relaxed as I did. Thorin was practically sneering at the cat in my lap and Fili looked a little awkward. Bilbo, however, reached over and tickled the kitten under her chin.

"You don't like cats?" I asked Fili.

Fili shrugged indifferently, "I don't see much point to them."

I saw Beorn frown out of the corner of my eye. "I'm sure they don't see much point to you, either." I replied matter-of-factly. I smirked when I heard Bilbo giggle next to me.

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_I'm sorry! I know it's a poor excuse for a chapter and I know it's been ages since I've posted!_

_But I really haven't been feeling myself recently. I'm totally bogged down with work, and bills, and work and more bills! Urgh._

_I just haven't had much time or motivation to write. I literally have been totally drained recently. I'll update again within a few days though. Just not okay at the moment ):_

_So that's my excuse for such a boring, crappy chapter…_

_And also I'm really tired right now so I didn't proof read half of it… SORRY *cries*_

_Anyway! On a lighter note._

_Thank you to all those who have reviewed, you're all so lovely and I love you all! Please let me know how you feel about this chapter, it's totally bumming me out. And the more I hear back then the more motivation I have to post more (:_

_Thank you to all those who have favourited and followed too!_

_Also! The next chapter (or the one after that, I haven't yet decided) might be rated M!_

_Due to sexual scenes. How do you guys feel about that? Yay or nay?_

_Follow me on Instagram: oliviaajaay_

_And twitter: ohjaayox_

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	17. Urges - MATURE

_This chapter is rated M!_

_Towards the end is somewhat graphic sexual scenes. Thanks! x_

So, it was decided we were to leave in the morning, and admittedly I was a little upset over this. I had grown fond of Beorn and his animals, and it seemed a shame to leave so abruptly. Not to mention I was so grateful for being safe every night, having a warm and comfy place to sleep was certainly something I greatly missed, and weirdly enough I hadn't realised how much I missed such trivial things until I had to part with them once more.

With a heavy sigh I plopped down besides Fili. He was laying on his back near the fire and although his eyes were closed I knew he wasn't asleep. When he made no move to acknowledge me I let out another, heavier sigh.

Again nothing.

So I elbowed him.

"What's wrong?" He grunted. Oh, maybe he was asleep then. He blinked one eye opened and peered at me.

In response I pulled his blanket away from him and snuggled into it, cuddling up against him and wrapping my own blanket around us also. Fili instantly moved his arm so I could rest my head on his chest. He was so warm and the perfect balance of squishy clothing and solid muscle beneath. I could just about hear his heart beating in his chest, it made me smile how rapid it was when I first wrapped my arms around him to keep him close, but as a minute or so ticked past it began to slow again.

"Do you miss home?" I murmured quietly, being careful not to wake the others. Not everyone was asleep, but it was quiet and I didn't want to cause a disturbance.

"Of course." He replied, resting his large hand on my waist.

"What do you miss?"

"My mother."

I smiled, "That's cute."

"_Cute_? No, bunny rabbits and kittens are cute. It's only natural to miss ones mother."

I didn't reply, but my heart sank in guilt. I think Fili picked up on my mood after that for he continued almost tentatively, "Do you miss your mother?"

"No."

"You don't?"

"No. I haven't even thought about her."

"Do you miss anyone?"

"I miss my friends and my sister. And also my brother and dad, but I've missed them for a long time."

Fili paused for a moment, taking in my words. "They're dead. Your father too?"

"Yup."

"I'm sorry, I—"

"No, no." I pulled my head from Fili's chest to look up at him. He was looking down on me with sad eyes and his mouth was pressed into a thin, grim line. "Don't be sorry," I reached up and brushed a stray hair from Fili's eyes, "He killed himself. No one is to blame, other than himself, maybe."

Fili frowned, "Why would he kill himself?"

I shrugged, resuming my position on Fili's chest and tightening my grip on him, "When my mum filed for divorce he moved away. He didn't tell anyone where he went or what he was doing. My brother started up a campaign to find him, but when he died my sister and I took it over. Eventually we found him in Devon—well, we found his gravestone. Turns out he moved away and remarried, had another child and started a whole new life. His misses came home from work one day to find him hanging. No one knows why."

"You don't seem very sad over this."

Again I shrugged against Fili, "Would you be? Would you be sad if you father left you and Kili and started a whole new life with another woman without even a whisper, without even a goodbye?"

Fili was silent for a moment, and for a moment I thought he'd fallen asleep. I looked back up at him to check, but I found him staring at the ceiling with a totally blank expression.

I gave him a squeeze, and his eyes flew to me.

"My father died when I was just a babe, Kili wasn't even born."

My gut twisted, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"It's fine," He gave me a small smile, "He died it battle. He died with honour fighting with our people. Like your brother did."

I squeezed Fili so hard then I think he was about to pop. I snuggled into the blankets and his clothes, breathing in his smell and settling in his warmth. My entire body ached for him. Being there with him made me feel wonderful, invincible, on top of the world.

"I love you, Fili."

_Oh shit. _

"Pardon?"

I was so nestled in the blankets that my words had been completely muffled, and somewhat inaudible. It sounded more like 'Ei loof yew, silli'.

"Nothing." I shut my eyes then as if to say 'conversation over'.

I heard him chuckle, his entire chest vibrated beneath my ear. I then felt a pair of soft lips on my forehead.

"I love you too, Olivia."

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"Beorn has only given us fourteen ponies, which mean two of you will have to share." Gandalf announced and instantly everyone turned to Bilbo and me.

"You two are the smallest, you can ride together." Thorin said briskly, marching towards his own pony.

"Erm, I'll have you know I'm the tallest here- other than Gandalf." I argued, but my words fell onto deaf ears, or rather ears that didn't want to hear it.

In the end I sighed, and began to grab my own belongings. Not that there was a lot, just my trusty holdall, my sword (yeah, there's something I thought I'd never say), and my cloak thing that I refused to wear because it made me look stupid.

"Need a leg up, Bobo?" I asked, watching the Hobbit with amusement as he looked between his feet and the pony that towered over him.

"Erm, yes plea-ah!"

I didn't let Bilbo finish, I literally just grabbed him around the waist and hoisted him up onto the pony. When I turned back around I bumped into Fili.

"Do you really have no idea what personal space is?" I jested, taking a step back from being breast to breast with him.

He snorted, "You're one to talk. I thought I was going to have to take you with me to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I couldn't get you off me. In the end I had to prize you away from me."

I glared at him and he chuckled.

"I'm going to say goodbye to the dogs, you coming?" I began to walk away before he even had time to answer, but I knew he was following me.

"They're dogs, why're you saying goodbye to them? They don't understand." He said as we made our way towards the front porch where they were all dozing. The rest of the company was pottering about around them, packing up the last of their supplies and checking they had everything. Beorn had kindly replaced all of our supplies from food to blankets, to water skins to handkerchiefs (for Bilbo).

"Of course they do." I knelt down and gave the closet dog a belly rub, as soon as he had seen me he'd rolled onto his back in anticipation. "Dogs are nearly as smart as humans." I looked up at Fili with a cheeky grin, "Which means they're certainly smarter than Dwarves." I gave him a wink, and he just folded his arms over his broad chest instantly getting haughty and defensive- which reminded me of Thorin.

"Dwarves are smart." He argued as he followed me to the next dog.

"I was joking, Fili, chill." I snickered, giving the silver and white greyhound a scratch behind the ears.

"We can do lots of stuff! We can forge, write, read-"

"Congratulations."

"-sing, dance, play instruments-"

"_You_ can dance?" I jested, straightening up and watching him with amusement. Fili, the blonde, big-nosed, laddish, knife throwing, sword wielding warrior can _dance_. This I have to see.

He puffed out his chest like an angry bird, "Of course."

I hooted a laugh, "Go on then, bust us a move."

Fili's expression turned as wicked as mine, "Only on our wedding day, miz azyung."

I rolled my eyes and moved over to another dog. "So you can play an instrument? You're such a dark horse, Fili."

"Kili and I can both play the viola. Can you not then?"

I thought for a moment, "I used to play the saxophone, and I used to be alright at the guitar. But I haven't played in a year or so."

"Why not?"

I shrugged, "Just got busy."

"Doing what?"

"Stuff."

"What sort of stuff?"

I straightened up and folded my arms over my chest, "Geez, what is this? Twenty questions?"

"I don't know what that is."

I rolled my eyes and knelt down beside another dog, "I suppose if I was as old as you I'd be good at something."

Fili scoffed, "I'm not old."

I thought for a moment. I guess it's like the olden days here, they don't have TV's or computers and stuff to completely waste time on, so they probably do a lot of reading, hobbies, crafting and therefore become very skilled. I'm sure if I had nothing else to do with my days I'd take up an instrument.

"You're an old man, Fili." I watched in amusement as his face heated up, and patted another dogs head as he came and nuzzled my hand. "How old's Balin?"

"Very old." Fili replied, his face still pink.

I finished saying goodbye to the last dog before closing the distance between me and Fili and slid my arms around his neck, my mood suddenly damp.

"Dwarves live a lot longer than humans." I murmured, my heart aching in my chest.

"We'll be fine." He replied, his words confident and I smiled, getting hopelessly lost in his eyes again.

"Come on!"

The roar of Thorin's voice knocked me to my senses and I literally jumped from Fili so fast like he had flees or something.

Fili looked far too amused by this and took hold of my hand, leading me back towards the ponies. I left him at his pony and wandered to Bilbo.

"Front or back, Bobo?" I asked, bobbing slightly on my heels.

"Erm, front, you're bigger than me."

I pulled a mock offended face and put my hand to y heard, "You calling me fat, bro?"

Bilbo suddenly looked horrified. He's not very good with banter.

I just laughed at him and somehow managed to scramble onto the pony, fidgeting to get comfortable. And with that, and a final wave at Beorn from myself and Bilbo we set off once again.

I looked behind me several times at the cute wooden house, my eyes almost longing for the safety and warmth. A feeling of utter sadness welled up inside of me; I missed having a home, I missed having a family and I missed being safe. I missed being content in the knowledge that I would definitely wake up the following morning and not run the risk of being slain by Warg, Orcs, or even a Dragon.

I gulped. If I thought this was hard, what was it going to be like when we faced the dragon? Surely, we were all going to die. I was going to die. Fili was going to die.

I turned ahead and caught sight of Fili watching me, he offered me a small smile and I returned it, suddenly desperate for his comfort. It was then I realised, no matter how much I denied it, I was hopelessly in love with him, and nothing was ever going to change that.

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"Would you stop?"

"Argh, just move this way."

"No! Stop! Ah!"

I hooted a laugh as Bilbo flushed bright pink. I couldn't stop moving, and I think Bilbo officially hated me, I knew I was doing his nut in. Mostly because I was genuinely uncomfortable, but also because I loved winding him up.

"Okay, okay, okay I'll stop." And I did, for all of three seconds, and then I started wriggling again.

"Excuse me! Thorin! Thorin!" Bilbo suddenly called, trying to catch the raven haired Dwarves attention like a school boy grassing up to a teacher. He also caught everyone else's attention. "Please, can I switch with someone else tomorrow?"

I laughed again, "I'm sorry, Bobo."

Thorin just grunted in response and turned back around, obviously not caring whatsoever what we did.

We stopped for the night a little while after that, but I was totally restless. So, of course, after annoying Bilbo to the point where he was about to implode I went to pester Fili.

"What's up with you?" He asked through a grunt as I jumped on his back.

"Nothingggg." I sung, squeezing him tightly and hanging on as he began to wander around.

"I've got to collect fire wood."

"And I'll come with you." I kissed his cheek with a dramatic 'mwah!'

He sighed and began to plod away from the company, with me still attached to him like a little monkey.

Truth is, I totally knew what was wrong with me. For the past year I'd been on the implant, and occasionally I got moody, sometimes bad, and sometimes good. But I wasn't either of those things right now, I was restless and I knew why. I knew exactly what mood I was in. Poor Fili.

I grip tightened on Fili's coat as he made his way into the lining of the trees.

"I can't do every much with you on my back." He announced.

_Neither can I._

I slid off him and took a step back, admiring the view when he bent down to collect some wood. He examined the large log for a moment or two before frowning and promptly dropping it again, obviously not satisfied with that piece of wood he wandered away to look for some more.

I followed like a duckling.

When he turned round again, I was standing so close he bumped into me.

"Honestly, do you really have no idea what personal space is?" He smirked playfully, and he had that twinkle in his eyes that screamed that he was up to no good. But whether or not he caught onto my mood I didn't know, but by what he'd told me (and from what I'd gathered), he was totally naive when it came to _cough cough_.

"Nope." I replied, sliding my arms around his neck and pressing myself up against him teasingly. He just blinked at me. Ah, I guess he doesn't understand.

I pressed my lips to his lightly, teasing him and trying to tempt him into more.

He took the bait and I felt his tongue touch my bottom lip gently. Being the gentleman he was and asking politely for permission. Of course, I didn't hesitate and I let his tongue meet with mine. One of my hands moved into his hair while the other slid down his arm to join his hand that rested gently on my waist. I took hold of it and pulled it round to my butt.

He squeezed, and a shot of pleasure shook me. I moaned and arched into him, my upper thighs growing hot when I felt the hardening lump in the front of his trousers.

He broke away from me then, lips moist and slightly parted and eyes wide. I grinned at him, and he returned it with a lazy, slightly swollen smile before leaning in again and catching my lips with his once more.

The hand that still held his over my bottom slid round to his front to cup and gently squeeze his arousal through his trousers. He growled and pulled my lower half into him, this only shot more pleasure through me and I pulled away from him and abruptly dropped to my knees.

"What are you…?" Fili began, but he didn't ever finish. I pulled at the ties of his trousers and pulled them down, making quick work of the buttons on his all in one and taking what I wanted.

He groaned loudly as I squeezed the base of his cock and I glanced up to see him roll his head back, mouth slightly open. I looked at what was in front of me, and found myself somewhat pleasantly surprised. As Fili was a Dwarf I assumed he wouldn't exactly be… _well-endowed_.

Clearly I was wrong. Length was a little above average, but the girth made me gulp. I suppose it's only fitting to match with a Dwarves stocky posture…

I licked up his length and he let out another groan, his hips involuntarily twitching forward. I smiled and moved in, taking what I could into my mouth as Fili let out another growl.

"Shhh!" I jested, pulling away to look up at him with amusement. Fili looked down at me, and when his eyes met mine my entire body tingled at the look he gave me. Pure lust and desire glowed dangerously in them and I found myself squirming under his gaze.

I felt his hand and the back of my head and with a gentle push he guided me back to where he wanted me.

I kept one hand on the base of his length, gently stroking him in time with my mouth that worked to tip and middle. I ran my free hand up his thigh, savouring the feel of his hard muscle under my palm. I let my touch travel over his hips and only the flat, warm muscle of his stomach. I loved that he had a bit a meat on him too, he wasn't all rock hard, and intimidating. He was _perfect_.

I let my fingers linger on the soft hair that laid over his abdomen before bring it back down and swapping it with the hand that was already working.

My jaw was just beginning to ache when Fili groaned loudly once more, his grip on the back of my head tightened and his hips stilled. He growled my name and my mouth suddenly filled with a salty liquid- which I promptly (and discreetly) spat out.

Fili flopped to his knees before me, his face pink and it wasn't until then that I noticed the light beading of sweat along his hairline.

I grinned proudly.

"Oh, Mahal…" He breathed, looking up at me from under his brow. He had one hand around his member and he gave it a light squeeze, letting another trickle of milky liquid escape from the tip. I glanced at it hungrily, but didn't say anymore. I respected Fili, and I didn't want to do anything that he didn't believe was right.

He was panting slightly, and he raised his free hand to wipe his sleeve across his brow. I felt so proud of myself. Fili, a prince and warrior, was kneeling before me totally and utterly defeated.

He then lent forward and placed a soft kiss on my lips. I felt him move as he put himself away and when he pulled back he was tucking back in his tunic. I almost pouted. My desire had been tamed, but it wasn't entirely blown out.

Fili got to his feet and held out his hand for me, which of course I took.

I began to wonder if Fili actually knew what to do. Had he even kissed another girl before? Let alone anything else.

I glanced over at him as he began to pick up fire wood again. His face was still a little flushed, a small smile imprinted onto his face, and he had a slight bounce in his step when he moved.

I smiled, feeling my tummy tingle pleasantly as I went to help him.

"Kili, is going to be so jealous." Fili announced as we walked back to the company, our arms filled with fire wood.

I nearly dropped everything I was holding. "You're going to tell him?!" I flushed bright red. Actually, saying that was totally hypocritical of me. Back home I would always tell my friends what had happened, right down to the last dirty detail. Even my sister would know what happened in my love life. But it never occurred to me blokes did the same.

Fili looked surprised, "Of course."

I groaned and he smiled.

"Fine. But don't tell Thorin."

Fili barked a laugh, "As I would dare, miz azyung."

"Will you get into trouble?" I stopped walking as we neared the edge of the trees, a little beyond that waited the company.

"For what?"

"For _that_. Doing that sort of thing before marriage."

Fili clocked on to what I meant and shook his head. I let out a loud 'phew'.

"Most Dwarves never get married, even if they find their One. Marriage is usually only for the Royal families."

"So sex before marriage isn't an _abomination_?" I was somewhat surprised, I was under the impression it was.

"Yes and no." Fili went on, "For the blue-bloods it is frowned upon, simply because if a child was to be born out of wedlock it would be scandalous. For anyone else, no one really minds."

"No wonder Thorin's so grumpy!" I hooted a laugh and Fili looked confused, "He's obviously sexually frustrated."

Fili snorted and shook his head.

"I must say though, with me you won't have to worry about any scandals."

Fili frowned, "Oh?"

I wiggled my left arm, being careful not to drop the wood I was still holding. "I'm on contraception."

"What's that?"

"It means I don't get pregnant, or periods for that matter. Very rarely anyway."

Fili's frown deepened, "You can't get pregnant? Ever?"

I shook my head and resumed walking again, "Not '_ever'_. I got it put in about a year ago. It only lasts three years but after that I have to take it out."

"So you can have children in two years?"

"Technically yes. But I don't want to."

Fili didn't say anymore, but whether it was because he got grumpy or because we ventured into earshot of the Dwarves I didn't know.

Nevertheless I deposited the firewood where Oin asked me to and plopped myself down next to Bilbo. I watched nervously as Fili pulled Kili by the arm away from camp.

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_A bit of a naughty chapter!_

_Sorry!_

_Hehehehe_

_Let me know what you think of it, please!_

_And also whether or not I should put in any more mature content or not. (I don't mean yet obviously.)_

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	18. PLEASE READ xx

Hey guys, I'm sorry this isn't an update! I will be updating this story in the next TWO days! Just finishing off the chapters.

I just wanted to let you know that I now have Tumblr and I will be using it to post **previews**, **snippets** (short **fillers** and **extras** that don't make it into chapters), **character** **information** and **pictures**! _and lots more_! so please follow meeeee, I'll most likely follow back :)

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	19. Celtic Tree Of Life - MATURE

_Chapter is rated M because there is more naughtiness!_

_But this will be the last of it for a while!_

_Thanks! x_

I watched Fili and Kili with narrowed eyes.

Fili was facing my way, and I could see him talking quickly to Kili about _you know what_. He was grinning broadly, and then suddenly Kili whizzed round and stared at me, his mouth set in an almost comical, perfect 'O' shape. His eyes were twinkling devilishly and I groaned, flopping onto my back in embarrassment, squeezing my eyes shut.

"What's wrong?" Asked Bilbo, looking between Kili and me, obviously not catching on.

"I'm dying of embarrassment." I replied, and then suddenly without any warning I was grabbed from the floor and pulled into the air with a loud squeak.

My eyes snapped open to find Kili grinning at me and embracing me tightly. "I'm so happy for you two!" He more or less sung, shaking me violently.

"Kili! Ah! Stop! Put me down!"

He shook me for a little longer before dropping me, I stumbled for a bit before rubbing my now sore arm. Over Kili's shoulder I glared at Fili, who looked far too smug. I gave him a warning look, and he quickly shoved his pipe in his mouth.

"What's going on?" Came Thorin's baritone voice from the other side of the company. He had been busy talking to Balin and Dwalin, but as usual he had kept one eye on his nephews.

Kili slung his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him, "Say hello to your new niece in-law, uncle!"

Thorin and I both looked horrified. Noticing this, Kili quickly added; "practically, anyway."

"Not _practically_. I just gave him a-"

"-Blah, blah, blah, blah!" Fili finally decided to intervene then, and he quickly yelped nonsense and clamped his hand over my mouth to muffle and silence my words. He turned to Thorin, who was standing there looking totally un-amused. Fili quickly flushed, "_Children_." He tutted in a 'what are they like?' kind of way.

I scoffed and pulled his hand away from my mouth, "You should hope no-ouch!" Kili elbowed me in the ribs and Fili put his hand back over my mouth, pulling me backwards into him.

Thorin just glared at the three of us before turning back to Dwalin.

I licked Fili's hand.

"Uck!" He wiped his hand on his coat, "Don't lick me!"

I scoffed, "That's rich. You weren't saying that ten minutes ago!" I then stalked off, and by the look Thorin was giving Fili he totally heard that.

.

.

.

I didn't sleep next to Fili that night. I don't really know why, but I wanted my own space a bit.

But by the following day I totally regretted my decision. The night had been unbelievably cold, and I had been freezing.

I sniffed into my porridge that morning, groaning at my bunged up sinuses. I continued to sniffle throughout packing up camp and I totally wasn't in the mood to fall victim to a particularly annoying Kili that morning.

"Don't you dare, Kili." I felt his sneaky approach, well, actually I saw his shadow try to creep up me. His shadow suddenly slumped and I turned to see a pouting prince. "That's not very attractive."

Kili frowned, "Someone's grumpy." He then grinned wickedly and slithered up to me. Nudging me with his elbow he jested, "Someone needs some Fili loving."

I groaned and stomped away, "I'm not feeling well." I coughed as if on cue.

Kili frowned seriously then, "Do you want me to get Oin?"

I shook my head with a snort, "It's just a cold. I'll feel better later."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Kili didn't look convinced. But I just traipsed away. He was right about one thing, I could totally go for some Fili love right now. Just cuddle. That would be perf.

I found said Dwarf tacking up his pony and I instantly wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into the back of his shoulder with a groan.

"Are you alright?" Fili asked, still settling the saddle on his pony.

"No." I grumbled. Fili turned then, peering at me with concern. I instantly put a hand over my mouth.

"What are you doing?" He tried to move my hand away from my mouth but when he pulled my arm my face went with it.

"I don't want you to get my germs."

Fili frowned, "You're ill?"

"I have a little cold." I sniffed, and Fili tried once more to pull my hand from my mouth, this time I let him.

"I'm pretty sure I would already have your germs by now, miz azyung. Come, you ride with me."

"No, Fili I- Ah!" Before I even had a chance to finish my objection he grabbed me around the waist and swung me on the pony like I weighed no more than a bag of sugar. I wobbled for a moment, but Fili quickly pulled himself up behind me. One arm instantly went around my waist while the other took hold of the reigns.

I instantly relaxed into him, letting my form melt against his, and I felt him place a soft kiss on my head before he kicked the pony into motion. And with that we fell into line with the rest of the company.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but I must have done because next thing I knew I was blinking my eyes open to penetrating sunlight.

I took a deep breath, barely noticing the improvement in my now mostly clear nose and I stretched.

"Ah, you're finally awake."

I suddenly remembered Fili was behind me, and that we were still riding. It was obviously no longer morning, and probably more or less reaching midday, if not a little later.

"Morning." I replied, snuggling into Fili and lacing my fingers with his hand that still sat on my stomach.

"Afternoon, more like." I felt him kiss my temple.

I closed my eyes and hummed again, nestling my nose into his jaw. The soft prickles of his beard scratched at my face.

"You still need to teach me how to tell the time."

"I can do that now?"

"No." I replied, smirking slightly and feeling suddenly devilish.

I stretched once more, arching my back and accidently-on-purpose pushing my backside into him. However, much to my disappointment I received no reaction whatsoever from Fili.

I blinked up at him, seriously wondering what was wrong with him. He just stared ahead, obviously totally unaware of my intentions. Not that I actually had any, I just wanted to be mean.

I looked around us. We were plodding along near the back, Kili was the only one particularly near us, and even then he was a little ahead and he seemed deeply engrossed in a conversation with an exasperated looking Bilbo.

In one swift movement I reached round behind me, and squeezed the space where Fili's thighs met. Instantly his grip on me tightened, and almost immediately I felt movement within his trousers. I gently rubbed the swelling lump and I received a soft growl from Fili as me lent in to bury his face in my neck.

It was then Fili did something that utterly surprised me. He placed a wet, open-mouthed, _wonderful_ kiss on the tender pulse point on my neck. I arched against him with a gasp, and I think for a moment Fili was totally surprised too.

"Sorry, did I..."

I turned to face him, my eyebrows raised. "Fili, do you know _anything_ about the birds and the bees?"

Fili scoffed defensively, "Of course..." He then paused, "Although I'm not entirely sure about what happens in between. It's not really something we Dwarves talk openly about."

I thought for a moment. And then I wondered how on Earth I hadn't noticed before. The Dwarves were undoubtedly rude, bad mannered, and actually sometimes a little gross. But in the past seven months (maybe eight? Jeeez!) None of them had uttered even a mention of sex, not even an innuendo. Only Kili had inquired so openly about it, and even then Thorin scolded him. Obviously Fili _knew_ what sex was. But I'm not entirely sure he knew much else about the female anatomy, let alone _what_ to _do_ with it.

I smirked to myself. Oh, I'm going to have so much fun…

When we stopped for lunch that afternoon I was dragged into another sparring lesson with Dwalin (much to my dismay), and of course I tried my hardest to worm my way out of the situation. To no prevail, of course.

I didn't even bat an eyelid at Fili talking in a hushed tone to Thorin. I mean, why would I? He's always talking to him, he is his uncle, after all.

I squeaked when Dwalin's sword came inches away from disembowelling me, instead he just caught my top and tore it, just over my right rib.

"Dwalin!" I scowled, dropping my sword where I stood to examine the gash. "This was my favourite top!" That was a lie. But still!

After that I refused to spar anymore, at least for today. I plopped myself on the ground with folded arms and legs, scowling furiously. Adding the occasional sniffle when my nose threatened to run.

Bilbo came plodding up to me and offered me a handkerchief which I gratefully accepted. He then sat beside me.

"What do you think's going to happen to us?" He asked suddenly, his voice low so the others didn't hear. Not that I think they would have even if he spoke normally. The only two Dwarves near us were Dwalin and Kili and both of them were sparring intently, and paying no attention to us whatsoever.

"What do you mean?" I asked, turning myself to face him.

For a moment Bilbo thought, "When the quest is over? Will you live in Erebor? With Fili?"

I blinked for a moment. I hadn't actually thought about what would happen after the quest for a very long time. And I supposed a lot had changed since I _had_ last thought of it.

"I don't know…" I replied thoughtfully, "To be honest, I haven't given it much thought. I take it you'll head back to the Shire?" I nearly pouted at this.

Bilbo nodded in response and then suddenly blushed. I peered at him, watching for him to stop fussing and spit out what he obviously wanted to say.

"If you need anywhere to stay…" Bilbo began, his face strained in a visible struggle to find the right words, "You are most welcome to stay with me. U-Until you find your own feet of course. But t-there's no rush."

I stared at Bilbo with wide eyes for a moment, "Really?"

"Of course! Unless you stay in Erebor, that is. But if not, you always have a place to stay with me." He smiled nervously at me then, and literally my heart doubled in size. Tears of happiness stung in my eyes and I launched myself at Bilbo, knocking him to the ground and engulfing the poor Hobbit in a hug.

"Thank you, Bilbo! That's so kind of you!" I felt so privileged to have someone like Bilbo in my life, and for a the first time for years and years I felt as though the hole that had plagued my heart was finally beginning to heal.

.

.

.

"Olivia?"

I grunted and rolled over, bumping into Fili and nestling into his warmth. "What?"

It was night-time. _Bedtime_. And I had opted for sleeping next to Fili that night, he was so warm, cosy and soft, and I already felt much better for it. Of course, until he decided to wake me up. Which was annoying because I was in the middle of a wonderful dream with Hugh Grant…

"What did Bilbo say to you earlier that made you embrace him like that?"

"What?" My mind was still half asleep, and I had problems processing his whispered words.

"Earlier, when we stopped for lunch…"

"Oh, he offered me to stay with him after the quest." I said it so causally, and I tried to snuggle further in Fili, my eyes still shut. But when he pushed me away I immediately blinked them open and frowned.

"He offered for you to stay with him after the quest?" He clarified, he was obviously struggling to keep his tone hushed. Over his shoulder I saw it was Oin who was keeping watch, so noise wouldn't be too much of an issue…

"Yeah?" I blinked at him, "He said if I needed somewhere to stay after the quest I could stay with him until I found my own feet. But only if I didn't stay in Erebor." To be totally honest I didn't know how exactly I felt about staying in Erebor. I didn't know what it was like, and from what I'd heard it was _literally_ a mountain (I mean, it is _called_ the Lonely Mountain). I don't know, I sort of like the idea of – gee, I don't know – _windows_.

Fili relaxed then, but his deep frown didn't budge, "_if_ you don't stay?"

I shrugged, "I'm not going to invited _myself_ to live with you."

Fili's face relaxed, and then broke into an almost mocking smile, "miz azyung," He began, reaching out to brush a stray hair from my face, "Will you stay with me when this quest is over? Will you stay by my side for the rest of my days?"

"Is that a proposal?"

Fili paused, "Technically it is an informal one. There is a lot more involved for me to officially wed you."

I then grinned, "Well, in that case, that was very sweet."

"Is that a yes?"

"It's a yes to the staying with you, I think, but I'm going to ignore the proposal part- informal or not."

Fili grinned then, and tangled his hand in my hair to pull me close to him, catching his lips with mine in a tender kiss.

I felt his tongue slide against my bottom lip and I gladly opened for him, having to suppress a moan in the process. I loved the feel of him, the feel of having him so close to me was enough to make my stomach buzz happily and my heart flutter away.

Fili pushed me onto my back, hovering his top half over me and entangling both of his hands into my hair. The kiss deepened, but it stayed slow and tender.

"Miz azyung," Fili panted slightly, pulling away to place a chaste kiss at the corner of my lips, then one on my chin, then my neck… "What will you have me do? I've been in such a state since you touched me earlier…"

His words sent a lightening of arousal through me, catching me by surprise by just how _dirty_ he sounded. Although, I think he was just being truthful and innocent, I don't think he had any idea just how his words were making me react. I don't think he knew what 'dirty talk' was, and that his words were just factual, rather than an attempt to heat me up.

"Yeah?" I teased playfully, arching up as Fili continued to trail kisses down my neck, "How so?"

In response Fili grabbed my hand and pushed it into his swollen groin. I gasped and Fili let out a muffled moan.

"I've been like this all afternoon…" He continued, his breath hot against my neck and my eyes fluttered closed. Blindly I fondled with the strings of his trousers, easily pulling the simple threads apart and driving my hand in to massage him through the soft cotton of his undergarments.

"No…" He murmured, his lips wet as he trailed to my collar bone, "How do I return the favour to _you_?"

I caught on to what he meant exactly, and I instantly blushed. Just the idea of Fili touching me was just so… so… _swoon_.

Slowly I pulled one of his hands from my hair and brought it to my breast. I cupped my hand over his and enticed him to squeeze the flesh. Instantly I felt his member twitched under my hand and his hips involuntary bucked. At this, a wave of lust washed over me, lingering in my lower body and I hastily caught Fili's lips in a heated kiss.

I made a sloppy job of pulling his cock from his bloody underwear, and I made myself a mental note that _somehow_ I was going to get him a normal pair of boxers. As soon as my hand properly gripped him he groaned into my mouth, and I began to work my hand up and down his hot shaft, pausing only to lightly press my thumb into the tip. At this, I felt a little trickle of warm liquid leak from the tip and Fili growled again.

I removed his hand from my breast and dragged it lower, pausing at the band of my leggings, that's when I broke the kiss.

I smiled up at him, almost revelling at the fact he looked almost nervous. I placed a tender kiss on his long nose.

"Don't do anything you don't want to, Fili." I murmured, taking note that we were on the outskirts of the company, and hopefully out of earshot.

Fili frowned, "Why would I not want to do this?"

Just the feel of his fingers slowly slipping under my leggings was enough to send me over the edge. But I held myself together, gazing up into his eyes as his fingers travelled lower. He was watching me, almost expectantly for a sign, for a reaction, and then…

His finger brushed over _the_ spot and my eyes fluttered shut, letting out a soft moan.

Suddenly his hand disappeared and my eyes pinged open.

"Why did you stop?" I almost hissed. Pure lust was building up within me and he was _faffing_ about.

Fili looked confused for a moment, "W-what? That was that right? That felt good?"

"Geez, Fili. Put your hand back right now, Mister."

Fili did as he was he was told and I caught his mouth with mine once more. My grip tightened around his member as he hit the right spot again, and I deepened the kiss in encouragement.

The blankets that covered us grew steadily hotter and hotter beneath them, although we didn't dare remove them.

Fili was doing a _perfect_ job, of course I was encouraging him and directing him. But when he broke away from the kiss suddenly I thought something might be wrong again.

He looked confused again, "Where… erm… where does it go in?"

"You're 82, Fili. You did not just ask me that."

I suppose I technically only knew (before experiencing it) where it went because of sex education and movies. So, I guess he didn't know the female anatomy. To be honest I barely know the female anatomy… Well, at least he knows he's in the right vicinity.

Fili looked sheepish, "I know it does go in there… But… _Where_ exactly?"

If I had never been taught about sexual education I suppose I would never had known _where_ exactly it was and how it all worked. So, instead of explaining the birds and the bees to him I simply took hold of his wrist with my free hand and pushed it lower. I felt his middle finger slip into me and with half lidded eyes I watched his reaction.

His eyes drooped, and his mouth hung slightly open as he licked his lips. I could feel his hot breath on my cheek and just the look on his face sent me over the edge.

I moaned, moving my hand faster up and down his stiff, weeping member, almost begging him to climax with me.

He did, with a low growl he buried his face into my neck as a hot liquid coated my fingers. His breathing was heavy, and I could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he stilled.

"Oh wow…" I muttered.

"How was that, miz azyung?" Fili asked, slowly removing his finger and I let out another moan. I wouldn't let him know that it wasn't his finger I wanted in me.

"I think you need more practice," I teased with a wink.

In response Fili stuck his tongue out at me and I returned it.

"What in Durin's name is that?" He reacted up and pulled on my tongue so fast I didn't have time to put it back in my mouth.

"Ew!" I quickly squirmed away from his middle finger, "Get your finger away from me."

Fili smirked, "You weren't saying that ten seconds ago."

I scowled at him as he smirked, and I poked my tongue out at him once more, letting my tongue bar clatter against my front teeth.

"Is that a _piercing_?"

"How have you _just_ noticed it?"

Fili looked thoughtful for a moment, and I felt him rummage around with his trousers to put himself back away. I took the opportunity to wipe my hand on **his** blanket.

"I suppose that does explain a lot," Fili smirked and I ran the plastic ball over my teeth. "Did it hurt?"

"To get done? No. I felt it, but it didn't hurt."

"Is there anything else I should know about you? Any other bodily mutilations?"

I rolled my eyes, "I have a tattoo."

His eyes popped, "What?"

I almost found it funny how quickly the mood between us changed. It was nice, having a lover and a best friend combined, but I suppose this was how normal relationships were supposed to be… Are Fili and I in a relationship?

"Yeah, did I not tell you? Oh, maybe it was Kili. You're practically the same person, I get confused."

Fili scoffed, "I should hope not. Let me see it."

"Urgh, it's on my ankle. Do I really have to get my ankle out _now_?"

"What is it?"

"A Crann Bethadh."

"Excuse me?"

"It's the Celtic tree of life."

"Are you Celtic?"

"My ancestry is."

"Oh… What's Celtic?"

"Urgh, Fili." I rolled over then as if to say 'conversation over'. I was still tried, and even more so after Fili's little expedition.

I think he got the gist of it because I heard him chuckle, and I smiled when I felt his arm slide around me and pull me into him. The heat of his chest pressed against my back, holding me close to him and engulfing me _with_ him.

Not that I minded. I laced my fingers with his as they sat on my stomach and I hummed in appreciation when he kissed my temple.

"Good night, miz azyung."

"Good night, Fili." I sighed contently, letting him pull me tighter into him. In his arms I felt safe, loved and wanted. Just as his breathing began to slow, I smirked.

"Hey, Fili?" I whispered, just as he was on the verge of sleep. I heard him hum in acknowledgement, "Did you know, spooning leads to forking?"

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_Eeeeeeehehehehhe_

_More naughtiness! Sorry!_

_But that will probably be all the naughtiness for a while (: _

_Thank you to all those who have reviwed, I love hearing what you all have to say! It makes me so happy!_

_So please keep the comments coming! The more reviews I get then the faster I will update._

_Also, for all those who don't already know, I have a tumblr now!_

_Yaaaaay!_

_And I have a snippet of a future chapter on there! Dun dun duuuuuuun_

_And I have pictures of Olivia, so please follow and/or have a look!_

_My usernames brightpinkpineapple_

_And can I just say, before I get stick for it, I made Fili so innocent because REALISTICALLY how WOULD he know where everything is? I mean, please, I only do because in year 7 I was shown a diagram! If not, I would have known WHAT happened, but not WHERE exactly until… yanno…_

_But as I boy I assumed he'd know even less. _

_My friends little brother is 13 and he thinks that there is only one hole for everything, just saying._

_LOVE YOU ALL xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_


	20. Mirkwood Part 1

"Hey, Bofur," I reached out and tapped the Dwarf with my foot. We were still riding but we had reached the outskirts of Mirkwood, and supposedly (according to Gandalf) nearing the Elven pass, "How long have we been travelling for exactly?"

In my head I made a mental bet with myself, somewhere between seven and eight months should do it.

"Why didn't you ask me that?" Fili asked from behind me, his arm still securely around my waist like some sort of seatbelt. You know, just in case I keel straight off the pony. Which now I think about it is highly plausible.

"Because I wanted to talk to Bofur, I'm bored of you." I replied matter-of-factly, not really caring about the implications of my words.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Fili pull a strained, mocking smile towards Kili, "I'm so lucky."

I ignored him, and waited patiently for an answer from Bofur who seemed to be thinking surprisingly hard over my question.

"About five months, lass."

"Five months?! Is that it? Gheez, I thought it was like eight."

Bofur snorted, "Don't you worry, sunshine, plenty more journeying to come." He sent me one of his Bofur smiles, one of the ones that was laced with mischief and went all the way up to sparkle in his eyes, I just frowned at him.

"_Sunshine_?" Kili repeated, rolling the word around on his tongue as if he was tasting it, he then peered at my blonde hair, "Seems fitting."

I snorted ungraciously, "Fili's more sunshine than I am." I glanced round at Fili and then for some reason checked my own hair. It was true though, Fili's hair was far more gold than mine, mine was more of a sandy colour.

"Whatever you say, _sunshine_." Kili teased and I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever, Kili. You're just jealous because everyone knows blondes are more fun than brunettes." I held my palm out and Fili quickly slapped it. _Rinsed_.

Kili pouted then, and turned back around on his pony, grumbling something along the lines of 'I'm fun too.'

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.

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I wish I gave Gandalf more credit, actually. For by mid afternoon we'd reached the Elven path. To be honest I had high expectations of it, I don't know why - might have something to do with how beautiful and elegant Rivendell is, maybe - but this... This was something else.

I stood gaping at the 'entrance' (if you could actually call it that), watching as Gandalf made the first venture forward. The only way you'd be able to tell it was an entrance at all was by the statues of Elves that flagged it, the path itself was overgrown and shabby. Not very Elven like at all, if you ask me.

Suddenly, Gandalf came striding back out of the entrance and headed straight his horse.

"Where's he going?" I asked Dwalin who stood by my side. He just shrugged. Bilbo came flying past me towards Gandalf then, and I decided to gather the details from him later, for now there were more pressing matters to attend to.

I turned back to the path, peering at it sceptically. Looks dark in there, better flop out the specs.

I made my way over to where I'd left my discarded holdall and began to rummage through, but no sooner had I pulled aside the first layer of contents was Kili's nose in the bag.

"Jesus, Kils. Your nose is nearly as big as your brothers."

Kili glanced up at me, "What?" He raised a hand and cupped his nose, "Has it grown?"

I rolled my eyes and pushed him, "I'm saying you're nosy."

Kili just shrugged and began to sift through my wash bag when I pulled it out to make room.

"What's this?"

"What's what?"

Kili held up a small pot filled with baby blue liquid.

"That's nail varnish."

"What is it?"

"It's sort of like a paint that you put on your nails," I then grinned wickedly, "Here, let me show you. It's just your colour."

I made a move to grab his hand but Thorin's voice calling out my name made me jump and whiz around.

I stared at him with wide eyes, assuming I was in trouble, "Yes?"

"Come here." He replied in his usual rumbling tone. He was standing beside Gandalf and he gestured for me to join them. I shared a worried look with Kili before scrambling to my feet and hurrying over.

"What's up?" My gaze flickered between a pissed looking Thorin and a concerned looking Gandalf.

"I must take my leave, Olivia." Gandalf said quietly, and he opened his mouth to continue but I cut him off.

"What?! You can't leave us."

"Are you afraid?" He suddenly asked, peering at me and then the forest.

"No, why?"

"Not even of what lurks within the shadows," Thorin growled and I frowned.

"Like what?"

"Giant spiders."

I paused for a moment, "No, I'm not afraid of spiders."

"These insects are bigger than our ponies, how are you not afraid?"

"Actually, spiders aren't insects," I corrected him, watching as his face change from serious strain to utter annoyance and confusion, "they're arachnids..."

"That is beside the point, Olivia. There is a dark magic laying in that forest and the air is thick with deception, a poison that you - coming from a heavily polluted world - are immune to, do you understand?" I nodded slowly. This seemed to sooth Gandalf for his tense shoulders visibly relaxed, "Good. Your body is far more advanced when it comes to filtering out the toxins, so you will not fall under its spell. This is the main reason I brought you here, this laced with your other qualities, of course. But you must not be afraid, the shadows can smell fear from a mile away. You may be the only one who is mostly unaffected by the spell, have your wits about you, and make sure **no one** leaves the path under **any** circumstances." Gandalf then turned to a peeved looking Thorin, "and you _must_ listen to her."

I grinned smugly at Thorin then, and he just glared at me.

"Very well." He grunted, taking a deep breath and turning his attention to me, "Lead the way."

My face drained, "No, no. I'm not leading the way." I glanced over towards the entrance. There is no way I'm taking responsibility if we get lost. Nu-uh.

"Ladies first." Thorin countered, almost mockingly.

"Shit before the shovel." I replied with a cheeky grin, Thorin glowered at me before turning and making his way back towards his belongings without even a backwards glance at Gandalf. "Have a safe journey." I said to him with a light smile before following after Thorin.

"You too, my dear... You too."

I reached my bag and groaned.

"What's this?" Fili had taken it upon himself to join his brother who was still rummaging through my holdall, and he was currently holding up my purse.

"It's my purse." I replied, taking it off him and opening it. I nearly wept at the sight of shrivelled up bank notes. _British_ bank notes, _normal_ bank notes, _**my**_ bank notes.

"Is that your money?"

I pulled out one of the ruined notes, "It was..."

"But it's just parchment."

"That's how we pay for things, and coins, and cards." I knelt down beside my bag, slapping Kili's hand away as he made to have another rummage, before diving in myself.

Fili picked up my purse again, "_These_ are worth something?" He then tugged on the paper gently and tore it, "Oops."

I rolled my eyes, finally finding my glasses case, "Yes. I earned that so do you mind not destroying it. Even if it is worthless here…" I popped open the case as I spoke, and pushed the black frames onto my face, "Yes! Finally I can see!" Middle-Earth was far more beautiful than before, I could now see every blade of grass, every tuft of cloud, and every strand of stubble on Kili's face as he sat across from me, blinking confusedly.

I turned to my left to find Fili staring at me, still with a crumpled up ten pound note in one hand and my Jack Wills purse in the other, his mouth was hanging open slightly and I swear to God I saw a hint of his tongue poke out for a split second to lick his lips.

"You look..." He began slowly.

"Like a sexy librarian? I know." With that I grabbed my belongings from the two brothers and packed my holdall back up, "Come on, I think we're on the move." I nodded to the entrance of Mirkwood where the company was slowly beginning to congregate.

I fell into place beside Dwalin, knowing that Fili and Kili would pair up at the back. Just as we began to venture forward Bilbo appeared at my side, walking so close to me he was practically stepping on my feet.

"Oh, my apologies, Olivia!" He quickly blurted when he trod on the back of my shoe and tripped me up. I yelped, but Dwalin quickly steadied me.

"You okay, Bobo?" I asked cautiously, peering down at him and taking his hand in mine comfortingly. I could practically feel Fili's eyes burning into the back of my head. But I ignored the feeling, Bilbo was my friend, and he obviously needed comforting. Chicks before dicks, after all (Bilbo being the chick and Fili being the dick). I would be there for him the same way he's been there for me, I treat him the same I'd treat anyone in this predicament, with love and care.

"Yes." Bilbo cleared his throat and straightened up, but he didn't let go of my hand. In fact, he gave it a gentle squeeze, just to make sure I was still there.

The path was undeniably difficult to follow. It was so run down that it would stop abruptly in some places and would start again a few feet further on. I was growing increasingly thankful that I'd bothered to put my glasses on, for without them I would definitely be having a hard time distinguishing between the dirt forest floor and the rubble of a path, not to mention that the thick canopy of tree blocked out nearly all the sunlight and it became difficult to work out the time of day.

"We make camp here. Don't venture too far from the path."

Thorin's voice broke my daze and I suddenly 'woke up' from my day dreaming.

"How can you tell it's night time?" Bofur called from somewhere near the back of the line.

"We've been travelling long enough." Thorin replied, his eyes flickering from Dwarf to Dwarf to check everyone was still here. "I want two people at a time on watch tonight," His gaze landed on me, "Olivia and Dwalin, you go first."

Oh, poo.

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Fili didn't sit near me that evening, choosing to sit on the far side of the company throughout dinner, in fact, he didn't even speak to me until everyone started preparing for bed and Dwalin and I were setting ourselves up for watch.

"Stay safe, okay?" He said quietly, he sounded sincere, although, he didn't meet my eyes.

"I will." I replied, trying to catch his gaze. But he ignored me and look away, giving a stern nod in return before walking away.

I sent Dwalin a questioning look, but he was watching Fili walk away with a firm frown.

"Did he have any supper?" I heard Dwalin ask Balin with a frown. The elder Dwarf just shrugged, watching Fili with concern.

Dwalin and I sat back to back as night fell, and although I said I wasn't afraid before, and I wouldn't admit it to anyone, but I was terrified now.

It was pitch black, literally there was no light to be found anywhere and it got to the stage where I didn't actually know if my eyes were open or closed. I was glad Dwalin was close to me, for protection, for safety, and I clutched my sword with white knuckles on my lap.

Thorin had forbidden us from starting a fire, which I suppose was wise after learning about what creatures lurked in between the trees. Although, it meant that dinner was neither comforting nor fulfilling.

The night was also painfully silent, the only occasional noise was that of a rustle, or a strangled cry. Every time I would flinch or jump, but Dwalin stayed stationary, on constant alert.

I wasn't tired, how could I be? I was beyond scared, too afraid to let sleep catch up to me. My heart was thumping loudly in my chest and adrenaline caused through my veins, pricking up my senses and tugging at my sanity. I was concentrating so hard on listening for danger that a migraine began to brew at the front of my brain.

My head whipped from side to side. My mind was surely playing tricks on me, although I felt dozens of pairs of eyes on me constantly, and out of the corner of my eye I would see a flash and glisten of beady pupils, but as soon as I turned my head they vanished into the night.

"Dwalin..." I whispered.

"Relax, sunshine. I won't let them touch you."

_Sunshine_? Him too?

His words were supposed to be comforting, they _should_ be comforting. But the fact he obviously saw them too struck at the fear in my belly and ignited a fire of paralyzing terror.

I let out a shaky breath.

"Scared of the dark, lass?" He asked. I think he was trying to lighten the mood by letting out a light jest. Although, his voice sounded forced.

"No." I replied truthfully, "It's not the dark that scares me, it's what's in the dark that does."

I felt Dwalin shift slightly and clear his throat.

"So..." He began, trying to change the conversation and take my mind off the situation, and his. "You and Fili..."

"I think he's mad at me." I replied sullenly.

"Aye, so it looks, sunshine."

"But why?"

"Probably has something to do with you mothering Bilbo."

I inwardly groaned and rolled my head back, letting it rest on his back, "But it was just that- _mothering_."

"I don't think he sees it that way. We Dwarves can be very... Protective."

I snorted, my mind momentarily forgetting about the forest, "That's one way to put it, but I think _possessive_ is the better term."

"He'll be that way until you accept his courtship."

"I have?"

"You _did_, and then you threw it back at him, remember?"

I snorted at myself, remembering throwing the bead back at him.

"You have a poor aim, by the way." He added.

"I throw like a girl."

"I've seen girls through, and they're a whole lot better than you."

I snickered at this, and lightly elbowed his back.

There was a short paused, and then Dwalin spoke again, "I must admit it though, lass, you interact far more with Bilbo than you do Fili."

I frowned into the darkness, "How do you mean?"

"With the hand holding, hugging, all the general signs of affection."

"Bilbo's my friend, though."

"Aye, sunshine, but Fili's your One."

"What actually is that, anyway?" My defences prickled, and I struggled to stay open, "Is it like 'love at first sight'?"

"No." Dwalin replied simply, "Dwarves are born... Incomplete. You are his other half, his missing piece. You make him One. Dwarf souls were born in twos, and they live their lives separately until they find each other, if they ever do."

"But I'm not a Dwarf, and I'm from another world."

Dwalin was silent for a long moment, thinking, "Well... Maybe there is more of our One's in your world."

"Have you found your One, Dwalin?"

"No, sunshine. We very rarely do."

"Do... Do you think Fili resents the fact I'm a human?"

"It would be easier if you were a Dwarf, lass. But you are his One, he wouldn't have you any other way."

I smiled at this, "Thanks, Dwalin."

Dwalin snorted in response.

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.

.

I would like to say the next few days improved, but they didn't. The environment began to slowly take its toll on everyone, including myself, but in a different way. I didn't get the chance to talk to Fili, but I also didn't think it was appropriate to, not now anyway.

The Dwarves began to grow irritable, temperamental and restless, and Bilbo grew nervous and skittish. I tried to sooth Fili, but every time I got close to him he would - quite literally - push me away. Bilbo didn't however, Bilbo came to me for comfort, and every time he did I felt guilty and ashamed that I was supporting the Hobbit and not Fili. Every time Bilbo took my hand in his I felt Fili's eyes on the back of my head, and slowly but surely the tension began to grow.

It was somewhere around a week or more into our venture through Mirkwood that the first of a sequence of disasters struck: we ran out of food.

Disoriented, famished, parched, and sleep deprived we continued onward like a band of zombies.

"Where's the path?" I was at the front, I had been following my feet on the stone slabs in concentration and then suddenly... nothing, "It's gone?" I turned to Thorin who was standing behind me. He pushed forward and stared down at the end of the path.

"Every one look search for the path!" He called.

"No!" I reached forward to grab him before he moved away, "No one leaves the path!"

"What would you know?" Snapped Gloin, "You're just a woman."

I knew his words weren't truly from him, I was friends with Gloin, and we got on well. He was as poisoned as the rest of us.

"A woman from the race of men, at that! We can't trust you!" Added Dori.

"Dori, you don't mean that." I responded, trying to sound soothing and brushing off their insults, "I'm just trying to help."

Thorin turned to me then, "Help by finding the path, then." He growled before stepping off the trail. I gulped as I watched the rest of the company follow suit, only Bilbo hesitated for a moment.

"Bilbo, don't." I reached out towards him and gripped his shoulder, "Gandalf told us not to leave the path."

I think Bilbo was about to say something in response to that, but another voice cut him short.

"Oh, you would run to Bilbo first, wouldn't you?" Fili's voice came from above, and I looked up to find him standing on a nearby ledge, Kili was right behind him, looking worried.

"Fili, please, come here, back to the path." I begged, letting Bilbo go and turning to face him with pleading eyes.

I saw Fili's jaw flex and something flashed in his eyes before he disappeared, but only to come striding around the side of the rock. His fists were clench and his shoulders were squared.

"Fili...?"

He was heading straight towards a startled looking Bilbo, and I think he would have made it too if it wasn't for Dwalin grabbing him around the waist. Instantly Fili thrashed out with such ferocity, the sort I'd only seen when he's fighting. It made me flinch back, and instinctively I grabbed Bilbo's hand and pulled him back with me for safety - on _his_ part.

"Let go of me!" Fili snarled, repeatedly hitting his elbow into Dwalin's chest. The blows looked hard and forceful, but this was Dwalin we're talking about, so he barely flinched.

"Fili, calm down!" I cried, letting go of Bilbo and taking a set towards the blonde Dwarf, holding up my hands, "What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?!" He finally broke free of Dwalin and stumbled forward, panting slightly. Both Kili and Dwalin put their hands firmly on Fili's shoulders, just in case he decided to lash out again.

"Me?" I blinked at him, "What are you on about?"

Something in Fili's eyes flashed dangerously, something foreign, something that wasn't him.

"You're supposed to be mine," He growled lowly, "Not _his_." He gestured towards Bilbo.

I frowned, "I'm not 'his', and neither am I yours. I've told you before, I'm not an object," my anger boiled, "get yourself together, Fili. You're a mess." Truth be told, he looked no more of a mess than the rest of us. He had visible bags under his eyes and his lips were chapped; his usual healthy face was ghostly white and his hair was dishevelled.

Fili ran a shaky hand through his hair, his breath was still heavy and broken. He stumbled where he stood, he looked so weak.

"What's wrong with him?" I shot Dwalin a worried look as I moved forward, placing both my hands on Fili's shoulders to stable him.

"He's been giving his rations to you, lass. He hasn't eaten in days."

Guilt clenched in my gut, "Fili..." I hadn't known, literally I had no idea. My heart swelled and my stomach churned. I couldn't decided if this action was sweet or stupid. But either way, I wished he hadn't done it. He shouldn't have done it.

"Fili, look at me." I begged, crouching slightly to try and catch his rolling eyes, but he forcefully pushed me away. "Fili, please! You are not yourself, none of us are, plea—"

"Not myself?" Fili pushed me away and I stumbled back slightly, his posture was suddenly so threatening it took all my willpower not to flinch, his lips were crooked and the look in his eyes was menacing, "How can you expect me to be myself with _you_ as my One!" His voice was the loudest I'd ever heard it, he was usually so calm and collected, but now…

It was obvious he was struggling to hold is composer, he was swaying slightly on the spot and the vein in his head was throbbing.

"Fili, you're not making any sense," I dared to take a step back towards him, feeling increasingly aware of the rest of the company's gaze on us. I raised my hands towards him, but they trembled with overwhelming emotion, "What do you mean '_me_' as your One?" I was undoubtedly offended, but I kept myself together. My heart was tearing in my chest.

"I mean _you_, as a _human,_" He hissed as though the words left a bad taste on his tongue, unfamiliar eyes bore into me. This wasn't him, it couldn't be. "What did I ever do that was so bad in the eyes of Mahal that he gave me such a cruel fate?"

"_Cruel fate_?" I whispered, tears stinging in my eyes, "Fili…"

"What did I ever do that was so horrendous I deserved to be _bound_ to you? A spawn from the race of men!" He took a step closer then, glowing at me and his jaw flexed, "If I had a choice… I would never lay my eyes on you again." His eyes flickered from me to Bilbo, "Only you humans are capable of devaluing love, you know nothing of our One's. You know nothing of the strength of Dwarven love. I have seen it, I have seen the men from villages move from partner to partner, like they are _nothing_. And all this time… All this time I thought you returned my feelings but _obviously_ I was wrong… "

Fili thought that was me, he thought I was actually like that. He thought I was cheating on _him_ with _Bilbo_? Just because I didn't understand Dwarven love, didn't mean I was incapable of having a heart. Yes, humans are capable of loving more than one, but that didn't devalue my feelings towards Fili, that didn't mean _**I**_ was capable of loving another. He was ashamed to be bound to me, to have me as his other half, because of my race, because of the capability of sharing love. He's angry because I have the ability to love another, and to Dwarves that is disgraceful.

I was his One, but he was not necessarily mine.

His words were like a knife slicing my heart and I clutched at my chest, "Fili…" My bottom lip quivered.

"That's enough." Dwalin snarled, grabbing Fili by the back of his coat and pulling him back. Fili stumbled, but Kili quickly caught him.

Dwalin made a move towards me but I quickly scrambled back, barely keeping the tears in my eyes that threatened to break through. I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped away, noticing it was Bombur.

"Please…" I whispered, backing away from them all. All I registered was Fili glowering at me, his teeth clenched.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" He hissed before pointing at Bilbo.

That was it. That was all I could take.

With a loud sob I ran back down the path.

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_Oohhhhh myyyyyy_

_Erm_

_So yeah!_

_Yaaaaay!_

_Or naaaay?_

_I hope you guys like this chapter, and I hope you can understand why Fili is pissed at Olivia, I know what I want to say, but I'm having a hard time translating it into words._

_Basically he's pissed because he thinks she shares her heart with Bilbo, and that she's playing him._

_BUUUUUUUT WE ALL KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE_

_Thank you all so much for favouriting, following and reviewing. Youre all so lovely and I love you all._

_Please let me know what you think of this chapter, I'm a little unsure of how I've written it._

_):_

_I started writing it when I was in a super good mood, then I finished my 14 hour shift, then I went to watch the fault in our stars *cries in a hole*_

_And so yeah… my mood caved and THIS happened._

_Love you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_


	21. Mirkwood Part 2

This was a bad idea, this was a bad idea, this was a – _**ouch**_ – very bad idea.

I tripped and stumbled, stubbing my toe in the process and letting out a very undignified squawk and a curse.

I stopped walking for a moment to hop on the spot, still muttering a string of colourful words under my breath and squeezing my eyes shut until I willed the pain away.

I didn't know exactly how long ago I left the company. I would like to say it was weeks, because that is what it definitely felt like, but unfortunately I think it had only been a few hours… If that. And I was already falling apart at the seams.

Quite literally, actually. I snagged my jumper on a particularly spikey branch and it unravelled slightly.

I was lost, and this was how I was going to die.

I'd left the company God knows where and now night was falling.

I felt guilt swarm in my gut like a hive of bees and I tried to push the thoughts of Fili out of my mind.

Had he truly meant what he said?

I knew he was poisoned by the forest and delirious as a result. Gandalf had said this would happen. That wasn't him speaking, no one was themselves. Hell, I think I'm actually going a little insane too, everything here looks the Goddamn same and I genuinely think I'm going round and round in poxy circles!

But what if he did mean what he said? What if it was the whole 'drunken minds speak sober hearts' sort of thing? What if that was actually how he genuinely felt deep down inside?

I felt sick.

He was supposed to love me for who I am, not be ashamed of me. Dwalin had said it himself. Fili couldn't have meant all that stuff, I'm sure of it.

But if I was so sure of it… Why did I feel so hurt?

I had tried to reason with him, I took what he said with a pitch of salt because I knew his mind was tainted. I tried to sympathise and I took it. I took every single word of it because I knew he was ill, in the head and spirit. The forest bore dark magic, and it was poison anyone who breathed it in. He couldn't have meant it, he wasn't himself, he wasn't _him_. My Fili would never had said all those things, it was like he was possessed. His eyes weren't his eyes, his voice wasn't his.

Or am I making excuses for him?

The forest air was poison, poisonous to the Dwarves and Bilbo, even Gandalf had said that. The forest was under dark magic, dark magic that they were susceptible and vulnerable to. He was under a spell, they all were. I'd seen it for the past few days, they all changed into someone else.

_**Gandalf had said this would happen.**_

I don't want to be making excuses for him, but I had to be reasonable here.

I took a deep breath and tried to remember a few years back when my drink had been spiked. My friends told me I was violent and angry. I am the _least_ violent and angry person there is, that night I wasn't me.

And I was hoping this was the same sort of thing with Fili. The forest was like a roofy and Fili was drugged on it.

I felt a pang of hurt strike me, and I suddenly wished I hadn't been so empathetic towards him. I should have laid into him back there like he'd laid into me. He hurt me, and I wish I hadn't held my tongue and I wished I'd defended myself. But noooo, I _had_ to try and help him, I _had_ to be understanding and pity him.

A side of me wanted to believe that wasn't him, but the other side of me said otherwise.

What he said to me was not okay, and that was that.

_Stop thinking about it._

It's not like I'm ever going to see him again, is it?

.

.

Oh, how wrong I was.

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.

I travelled throughout the night, not even pausing for a moment out of fear that sleep would catch up to me. If I kept moving I would stay ahead of sleep, right?

I knew I was no longer on the path, and at first I was thankful for my sanity, but after a while that too began to fall apart on me.

I would jump at every rustle, squawk or snap of a twig, and no matter how much I strained my eyes into the darkness I could never find the source. What is more frightening than monsters and demons? The unknown. That's what.

I think I had a conscious nightmare of Slender Man jumping out at me and one point, because I swear to God I saw him, or at least a saw a long limb of _some kind_.

I sort of hoped it was a Giant Spider. Slender Man was scary.

In one hand I tightly grasped my half empty (half full, stay positive) can of hairspray, for protection. I figured I would be faster with this than my sword.

It felt like years before dawn came, and even then I wasn't sure if it was actually daytime. The forest was so dark and gloomy anyway it was hard to differentiate between the two.

And I needed a wee.

I hopped around a bit before finding a safe place to do my business, groaning at the awkwardness of it all.

I missed toilet paper. I missed toilet seats. _I missed showers_.

Never in my life had such trivial things ever seemed like such a luxury, and I found myself silently trying to exchange my left arm for a toilet just for five minutes.

I wandered into a clearing of trees (not that it made any difference to the atmosphere, the canopy still completely hid the sky) and took a seat right in the centre.

I was hungry, cold, tired, thirsty, fatigued, grumpy…

And if things couldn't get any worse a twig snapped behind me.

"Shit…"

Slowly I turned.

If I hadn't just peed, I would have definitely wet my pants.

A Giant Spider stood just metres away from me, fangs bared and oozing.

I sat deadly still, staring with wide, watery eyes.

Maybe it hasn't seen me…

Nope.

It lunged towards me with an ear-piercing roar, front legs (arms? I don't know, I'm not spider anatomy expert) reaching forward to grab me while its pincers snapped hungrily in its jaw.

Do you know what's really worrying? For a split second I actually considered letting it have me.

But then my fight or flight kicked in, my common sense getting the better of me and in one swift movement I raised my hairspray can and squeezed the top. Instantly sticky, toxic (yes, _toxic_, have you ever breathed in large amounts of the stuff? My, oh, my! We're only talking supermarket own brand here, that stuff is nasty!) spray jetted from the nib and into the path of the open mouthed spider.

Immediately it involuntarily inhaled a vast amount of the chemical, and within moments it was wheezing, struggling, stumbling around like it was drunk. I stared with wide eyes for a long moment, before scrambling to my feet and advancing towards the creature cautiously.

It wheezed once more before finally doing that freaky spider crumple and falling completely still.

I choked on my own breath, gagging and wrenching at what had just happened.

"What is that?"

I span on my heel at the voice, barely processing the blonde haired person that stood a little way in front of me before keeling over.

.

.

.

When I woke up, I was definitely pretty sure I was no longer in the damned forest.

I was laying on a soft bed, completely cocooned up in soft linens and silks. Was this heaven? If so, when did I die?

Blinking my eyes open I found myself to _definitely_ not be in a forest. But in fact, just a room that was made out of one.

I rolled over, yelping when I accidently strangled myself with a silky sheet.

"Ah, you're finally awake."

I instantly sat up in a heartbeat, completely ignoring the woozy, throbbing pain that abruptly filled my head.

My eyes landed on what was undoubtedly an Elf.

Even sitting down I could see he was tall, with piercing blue eyes and white blonde, long hair that I would _kill_ for. I mean really, these Elves sure do know how to groom.

He was dressed in gorgeous deep red robes and upon his head was a grown that looked like it was made from the very forest.

The Elf uncrossed his legs and slowly stood from the plush armchair that he had been sitting on. In a few swift strides he crossed the room and towered over my bed.

Thankfully he seemed to read the expression on my face for I was long past being able to speak.

"I am King Thranduil, and welcome to Mirkwood."

He wasn't as kind sounding as Lord Elrond had been, and his gaze was penetrating and made me feel uncomfortable.

"And who, and what, are you exactly?" He continued, peering down his nose at me, "And what were you doing rambling through the depths of the forest all on your own?"

I choked on my words, "I-I'm Olivia Ne-Netherwood, your highness," His killer eyebrows quirked bemusedly, "I lost my friends."

"Your friends?"

I nodded, "Yes."

Thranduil paused for a long moment, "If you have hope that they are alive, I wouldn't hold your breath."

I gulped.

"Are you hungry?"

"No… No…" I was starving, but I didn't want to eat. God, the last thing I wanted to do right now was fill my nauseous belly with _food_. The Dwarves were dead, Bilbo was dead.

Fili was dead.

Then I remembered, I remembered everything that he said to me and once again my mind filled with turmoil. As time progressed, I became less and less understanding towards his sickened mind, and more and more angry with him.

He had no excuse for his actions.

Thranduil showed no signs of concern for my welfare and simply nodded.

"Where is it you are heading?"

I blinked up at him, unsure what to say, "Nowhere. Just sightseeing."

"_Sightseeing_?" Something behind his eyes flashed dangerously, "You do know the consequences of lying to a king, don't you?" He leaned forward, "Let me ask you again 'where are you going?' Your bag is filled with many peculiar items, care to explain them?"

His eyes were so blue they actually began to scare me, and I gulped once more, "I'm honestly t-telling you the truth. My friends and I wanted to see the Giant Spiders. A-and my bag is just from my travels."

Thranduil's jaw flexed and something flickered in his eyes. It was obvious he knew I was lying, and for a long moment I thought he was going to exile me then and there. But he didn't.

"Very well." He straightened up and moved away from the bed, "You may stay until you are in good enough health to travel," He paused when he reached the door, only sparing a fleeting glance back at me like I wasn't worthy of his attention, "Then I trust you will be on your way."

And with that, he left.

I was left alone in the beautiful room, feeling more terrified now than when I was face to face with the Giant Spider.

Slowly I slid out of bed and wobbled over to one of the doors that led away from the chamber, hoping desperately that it was a bathroom.

I was, thank goodness, and I took my time in the bath, scrubbing at my skin until I was quite literally squeaky clean. I stayed in there until the water ran cold, and then I emptied the metal tub before filling it right back up again.

I soaked until I more or less turned into a prune, and I was just pulling myself out of the tub when I got the shock of my life.

I saw my reflection.

Or at least, I think that was me. Wrapping a towel around my body I cautiously padded my way to the mirror with wide eyes. I raised my hand, as did the girl in the mirror. But that _can't_ be me.

The girl staring back at me looked familiar, but she was also a stranger.

The familiar stranger stared back at me. I was at least three stone lighter than I was coming up to six months ago. I was never fat, but this girl looked malnourished and sick.

Her eyes were sunken and dull, her skin freckled and tanned from all the outdoors, and her hair was bleached from the sun.

It then dawned on me that I hadn't actually seen my reflection since Rivendell, nearly two months ago.

I hadn't even noticed I was covered in scratches and grazes, new and old. I suppose I'd been so preoccupied with other things I hadn't noticed such trivial marks.

I tugged on pale, hollow cheeks. The cheeks which were once round and pink with a healthy blush.

I rubbed my face and turned away from the familiar stranger, unable to keep looking at her.

My mind wandered back home then, wondering if my family would recognise me if they ever saw me. No. They wouldn't. I barely recognised myself, let alone anyone else who happened to suddenly see me now compared to how I looked all those months ago.

I sat down on the plush bed, raising my hand to my mouth in an attempt to muffle a loud sob that escaped.

In six months my entire life had been torn apart twice.

I was first dragged from my home and family by some cryptic wizard, to be pretty much blackmailed into joining some suicidal quest to reclaim someone else's Goddamn homeland. Which, by the way, I'm really bitter about doing. Why should I help someone get there home back when I was dragged from mine to begin with?

Okay, deep down I knew that wasn't the case. Deep down I knew I would have died back home and that I did actually want to help the Dwarves get their home back. But right now I was bitter and I felt that fate was just being too cruel. It was easier to blame everyone else for my problems than face them myself.

Secondly, I finally begin to feel like the company was turning into my new – somewhat dysfunctional – family, and then they are taken away from me too. And now what? I have nothing, and I am now stuck in a place _unwelcome_, with people I don't know and nowhere to go from here.

The only thing I could do was sit tight and hope that Gandalf would come to my aid.

.

.

.

It took me another day to finally give in and leave the room I was staying in. My stomach had finally roared its final protest and I found myself having no other choice but to find food.

I had been wandering around Mirkwood for quite some time now, trying to work out where I was and where I was supposed to be going. I couldn't even find a single soul to ask for directions.

But then I saw someone I recognised. Where from I do not know. But I did definitely recognise them.

He was tall, blonde, _handsome_, and was stood talking to another brunette Elf.

I decided to suck it up and ask for help, I was desperate after all.

"E-Erm, excuse me? Mister Elf-Man-Sir?" I walked up to the blonde Elf who turned to me with a raised brow.

"Yes, Miss?" He replied courteously, but amusement danced mockingly in his eyes.

"I was w-wondering if I would be able to get something to eat?" As if on cue my stomach rumbled embarrassingly loudly, so loudly in fact I winced.

The Elf smirked a little, "Certainly. Here, I will take you to the kitchens myself." I inclined his head towards me and instantly I blushed furiously.

Goddammit, Olivia!

"Cheers- I-I mean ta – I mean thanks." _Idiot_.

I ducked my head and mentally slapped myself for being so socially inept, and I made sure as we walked I kept my mouth tightly sealed to reframe from any word vomit which threatened to spill out.

I snuck a glance at the blonde Elf. He was unbelievably handsome, but there was something…. Something missing.

Six months ago I would have swooned and collapsed on the spot upon laying my eyes on him, but now…

_No one would compare to Fili._

I mentally slapped myself, "Bastard." I hissed angrily.

"Excuse me?"

I jumped and turned into a beetroot, "I-I said custard." _What?_

"Custard?"

"D-Do you have any?" Kill me now.

The Elf looked mildly concerned, "I would think so…"

There was an awkward pause, and then my social communal hopelessness got the better of me.

"I recognise you."

The corners of the Elf's mouth twitched upwards a little, "I am the one who found you in the forest."

"Ah!" I snapped my fingers, finally realising, "Thanks." I think?

"I am also Thranduil's son, Legolas." You what.

"Pardon?"

"I am Legolas, Thranduil's son."

I really am flying high here in Middle-Earth. I keep meeting Royals and Lords and stuff, seriously, I have gone up in the world.

"Well… It's lovely to meet you, Legolas," Please don't be weird and freaky like your dad, "I'm Olivia."

Legolas smiled then, "Little Olive tree, yes?"

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.

.

I would like to say I enjoyed my stay in Mirkwood, and actually I think I would have, if it wasn't for the overwhelming grief I felt for mourning the Dwarves every day.

I had been in Mirkwood for about four days now, and I was either sleeping, eating, or hanging around with Legolas. Which wasn't very often actually, but those are the only three things I did.

I was actually walking through one of the Halls late one afternoon on my way to the kitchens when a loud ruckus broke out.

I instantly ducked behind an intricately designed wooden pillar and peaked around it just as the main gates opened. What I saw next took my breath away.

Legolas marched in, flanked by Fildir and Tauriel, but they weren't what I cared about, it was who were trying behind them that I cared about.

"Dwalin! Oh, my God, Dwalin!" Before I even knew what was happening my feet was flying me over towards the burly Dwarf, and within a matter of seconds I flung myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and already sobbing loudly into his neck.

Never have I been so relieved in all my life. I was crying my eyes out with sheer joy, my heart was pounding and my stomach was filled with delight. My entire body felt numb, my shoulders went slack and my knees threatened to give way beneath me.

"Olivia?"

I turned my head to find the rest of the company peering at me, squinting and blinking as if I was not truly there.

"Oh, my God." I let out another sob and threw myself at Bofur who quickly embraced me back. I could hear him laughing in my ear and immediately I began laughing too.

"It's so good to see you, sunshine." He chuckled.

"I thought you guys were dead." I tried to wipe the tears from my face with the back of my hand, but every time I did new tears replaced them.

"We thought _you_ were dead." Bombur said, reaching out towards me and I immediately embraced him in what I would say was a bone crushing hug, needless to say the tubby Dwarf barely battered an eyelid.

I couldn't stop crying, I was so, so glad they were all alright. Never in my life would I have thought I would be happy to see Thorin Oakenshield, but not even he managed to escape one of my hugs and I purposefully gave him a dramatic kiss on the temple with a loud 'MWAH'.

I even grabbed Kili by the cheeks, squishing his face in my hands, "You're really here." I pulled him into a hug, clinging onto him as if he might vanish again at any moment. However, I did notice we were one person short.

_Bilbo_.

I tried to avoid Fili's gaze, and I was actually thankful when Legolas interrupted our little moment, at least that way I wouldn't have to deal with the whole 'I'm going to cuddle everyone except you' scenario.

"You know these, _Dwarves_?" The word 'Dwarves' rolled off his tongue as if it were poison. I frowned immediately, my spines prickling dangerously.

"Yes." I replied, returning his steely gaze.

Legolas visibly sighed, his shoulders slacking and his eyes turning sympathetic.

And that is how I ended up in the Elven dungeons.

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_I'm so scared for tomorrow guys, I'm getting a tattoo!_

_It's my second, but they still hurt!_

_._

_Not much Fili/Olivia interaction in this one!_

_Although, I think there will be more in the next one, but I can't promise you'll like it!_

_*cries*_

_Thank you all so much to all those who have favourited, followed, and reviewed._

_You're all so lovely!_

_Please let me know what you think of this chapter, because I know you don't all like it when there's not much love in the air ;) _

_Your reviews mean so much to me!_

_Love you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_


	22. You Are Not My King

"Look at the Brightside, sunshine," I heard Bofur call from further down in the cells, just as Legolas was shutting the door to mine, "at least you're back with us!"

Just as Legolas turned to leave he sent me a pitting look before moving away.

"The Brightside is, my dear Bofur, that I have had a bath – several in fact – since I've been here. Unlike you lot."

"Ah, that too, lass, that too."

I let out a loud snort before sliding down the cell wall, looking out beyond the metal bars. Across from me was Dwalin, who was watching me with concern. On his right Balin was beginning to pace in his cell, and Kili was on his left, just about to be locked up.

"Aren't you going to search me?" I heard him ask, he was looking at Fili (uck) who'd just had another knife pulled from his collar, "I could have anything down my trousers."

Tauriel raised her brow at him, "Or nothing."

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life.

"Oh Kils!" I gasped, making sure that the last Elf had left, "you just got totally rinsed, babe."

Gathering my composer I glanced over towards Kili through watery eyes, and to my surprise he didn't look bothered at all by my comment. On the contrary, he looked smitten.

So Kili likes a dominant woman? Who would have guessed?

I nearly smiled just at the look on his little face as he gazed after Tauriel, my body feeling tingly _for_ him.

But my attention was drawn elsewhere when Dwalin called out for me.

I grunted in surprise and turned to him, "Oh, pardon, sorry?"

"I said 'how are you fairing, lass?'" He asked, shifting himself to mirror my passion leaning against the wall, up against the cell door.

"Oh! I'm fine, pretty wonderful actually, bearing in mind I'm in _jail_." Dwalin snorted, "Where's Bilbo?"

I half expected to hear a snide remark from Fili, but there was nothing. I suppose there is always a silver lining to every situation. This one being that despite being locked up in a cell I couldn't see Fili.

"We don't know." Dwalin replied, "He just vanished."

I frowned, guilt swelling in my stomach. I should have been there for him.

"Is he alright?"

"He was last time we saw him, sunshine." Nori said and I sighed.

I then paused, "Wait, when did you _lose_ him?"

"Erm," Bofur pondered loudly, "Somewhere between being caught by the Giant Spiders and being caught by the Elves. It's all a bit of a blur, really."

I let out a loud laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"You lot got _caught_ by the spiders?" I couldn't help but feel totally smug about that.

"They came out of nowhere! No one stood a chance!" Ori continued.

I huffed, smirking and barely being able to contain my swelling head, "I did."

"_**You**_ did?" Dwalin sounded like he choked on his own breath. Instantly the rest of the company begun an uproar, each one of them complaining.

"Oi, now, oi!" I laughed, "I'm being serious! _I_ – _**me**_ - actually kicked a Giant Spiders arse," I shot Dwalin a smug look, "How does that make you feel?"

I actually expected Dwalin to sulk or grumble at this, but to my surprise he gave me a small smile, "Good on ya, sunshine, I'm proud of you."

I don't know why, but his praise caused me to grin so widely, and I instantly felt a warm, tingling feeling of pride come over me. I liked making Dwalin proud. I'd become to see him like a parent, and I cared greatly about what he thought of me. I didn't want to let him down.

"Thanks…" I grinned.

"How'd you do it?" Kili asked, pressed his face right up against the cell bars.

I winked at him, "Magic."

"Seriously, how?"

"Because I'm better than you warrior Dwarves."

"I'm really impressed." He laughed out, sounding amazed.

I scowled, "Don't sound so surprised. I have my moments."

"Just a few, though."

"More than you!" Elf muncher.

"Did you use your sword, lass?" Asked Gloin.

"Nah, I used my bare hands, bud."

Nori snorted, "Now, that's a lie."

"I'm serious! And my hairspray. But I had to use my hands to use the hairspray."

"Is that the stuff I sprayed in my mouth in Rivendell?" Kili asked and I nodded with a laugh.

"Yup."

"Ah, no wonder you killed it."

"I feel like one of you lot now."

"You've always been one of us, sunshine." Bombur replied.

I couldn't see him, but I pressed myself up against the bars and called out; "Thank you! Wherever you are…"

"Down here!" I strained down the cell and managed to catch sight of Bombur chubby hand waving a few cells down.

I laughed, my grin wider than I ever thought possible in jail. I was really glad I had these guys back.

"Cheers, but you know what I mean though, right?"

"Not really." Ori said.

"I feel like a nutter!"

"Aye?"

"I killed a Giant Spider! All on my own! By myself! I'm like Wonder Woman." I gloated.

"Who's that?"

"Me."

"You lost your glasses though." Nori noted.

Instantly I felt my face, "Oh, poo…" I must have left them in my room, with the rest of my stuff…

My good mood plummeted, knowing that the likelihood of me ever getting my belongings back was extremely slim. Sure, none of my stuff had much value, but at the same time it was all so sentimental. They were the only things I _owned_, let alone the fact that they were the only things that I still had left that were from my home. My home that I would never be able to return to, they were the only reminder that I did actually once belong somewhere, _properly_.

I don't mean how I love the Dwarves like family, I mean that I once did actually have my _own_ family; my own flesh and blood. But they were a world away, and they thought I was dead.

That fact still hurt me, still struck me like a knife to the chest (or an arrow to the chest, either or), that I was cheating my family and friends in such away. They thought I was _dead_, as in I was gone forever and that I was never coming back.

Well, I suppose that was true. In a way I might as well be dead, in that case.

But that wasn't the point.

I hadn't noticed that I was looking down at my hands with a pout on my face until I heard Dwalin call quietly.

"Lass?"

I only just managed to hear him over the ruckus the Dwarves were creating, but when I looked up he mouthed at me 'are you okay?'

I shook my head and mouth back 'no'.

And with that I pushed myself away from the cell door and into the depths of the cove.

My mood had gone from 'king of the castle' to, 'the dirty rascal' in a matter of seconds.

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.

I had my eyes closed but I was awake, so when I heard the sound of my cell door opening I frowned and straightened up, blinking towards Legolas as he stepped into my cell.

I instantly noticed the grim look on his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my voice hoarse from not being used for so long. We'd been in the cells for a few days now, and so far it hasn't been entirely unpleasant. We weren't treated unkindly, we were fed three times a day and it's always nice to know that nothing will attack you in your sleep. The bottom line is that here we were safe, but at the same time… I think I'd rather be free with risks, than safe and locked up.

"The king wants to see you." He replied, his eyes sad.

"Oh…" Slowly, I raised to my feet. Thankful when Legolas made no move to grab my arms like he'd done with all the other Dwarves. He trusted me, and I appreciated it.

He led me out of my cell and up towards the main doors.

I barely clocked onto the fact all the Dwarves had fallen silent, most of them asleep. Except one.

"Where are you taking her?" Dwalin's harsh tone broke the silence like a mallet to concrete. A few cells down from him I noticed Fili scramble to his feet and take hold of the cell bars, looking up at me with an unreadable expression.

"It's fine, Dwalin…" I said quietly, before following Legolas through the main door and waiting patiently for him to lock it.

Legolas led me most of the way to the throne room in silence, but it reached a point when I could no longer hold my tongue.

"I've been waiting for this…" I told him quietly. I tried to keep my voice as monotone as possible in an attempt to show no sign of stress or fear.

Legolas sent me a sad eyed glance, "You lied to him, Olivia."

"I didn't. He never asked who my friends _are_."

Legolas let out a heavy sigh, coming to a stop in front of the large, intricately designed doors, "If you wish to keep breathing, I would do as he says." With that he opened the door and ushered me inside, before shutting the door behind me. From the other side of the door I heard the lock click and I gulped, my eyes already locked with Thranduil as he lounged on his throne.

He offered me a fake, bitter sweet smile, "Come closer, Olivia." His voice gave no clue to what he had in store for me.

Slowly I obeyed, keeping my eyes averted from him to conceal the surprising amount of anger that was beginning to bubble up within me. I was an adult, and I refused to be spoken to like a child. I'd been belittled and bullied my entire life by people I care about. So to hell with him if he thinks that he can get away with bullying me now.

Once I stood in the centre of the raised platform before his throne I heard the rustle of his robes as he stood.

Slowly he approached me, the entire time his gaze bore into me like a million tiny knives.

This sort of scrutiny caused something within me suddenly snapped.

"Let us get one thing clear," I raised my head suddenly, surprised at the strength in my own voice, "I will not be telling you any information about my friends, because truthfully, I barely know what's going on myself. And I'm not prepared to relay incorrect information to you."

For a split second I think Thranduil looked slightly taken aback. I saw him draw breath to reply, but I quickly cut him off.

"My dad was a police officer, and I can tell you right now that you are holding me in those cells illegally, under unstable grounds of mere association with Thorin and company – who are all also being held illegally. I have no obligation to tell you any truth, when you are basing our captivity on lies."

Thranduil paused, "What gives you the right to speak to me like that? I am king here, and—"

"May I remind you that you are not _my_ king," My words were spoken through gritted teeth, "my queen in an entire world away, she is the only one I answer too." Sort of, "I have been bullied, manipulated, oppressed and used as a weapon my entire life, so I can tell you now that you have no chance of getting any information out of me. I'm sick of being treated like an object, like I don't have hopes, dreams, _feelings_ myself." My gaze glanced at the sword on his hip and I let out a scoff, "You plan to kill me? Go on then! Please, you'll be doing me a favour."

I'd snapped, the words tumbled out of my mouth like poison. In my head imagines of my former life flashed past, reminding me of the hurt and pain I'd succumbed to in just my short life. The pain of physical and mental abuse from my ex-boyfriend. If I can survive that, I can survive this. The terror of one my mums boyfriends as he manipulated my mum and broke our family a part, the cold words of abuse he'd yelled at me and my sister, telling us we're worthless and pathetic, reminding us that our brother died with no dignity and in vain.

Feelings of the utter heartbreak I felt upon finding out my dad had started an entire new life with an entire new family without even a backwards glance at the children he already had. The overwhelming grief I felt when the phone call came to tell us my brother was killed. If I could survive all of that then I could certainly survive this Goddamn Elf.

There is no way in Hell that I've survived all of that to meet my end like this, to kneel down to another bully. No way, I was stronger than that.

Thranduil looked at me long and hard, before surprising me with his next words.

"I'm impressed," My eyes popped slightly. His tone was much lighter than before, and the expression on his face was somewhat please, "You have much loyalty to those _Dwarves_." He said 'Dwarves' the same way Legolas had done; with venom.

"They're my family." I replied without hesitation.

Thranduil let out a quick, light laugh, "_Family_? My dear little olive tree, do you truly believe they see you in the same way?"

I decided to humour him, "Yes, you think otherwise?"

"You a merely a pawn in all of this. Why, Thorin Oakenshield was bartering your freedom for theirs not that long ago."

"That's a lie."

"Oh, but it's not. They see you as a disposable object."

_Orc fodder._

I shook the thought out of my mind, knowing hands down that he was lying. Sure, Thorin and I didn't get along, but if there were two people he cared about more than Erebor itself it was Fili and Kili. And there was no way he would sentence his nephew's Ones life to king Thranduil. I hope…

Thranduil must have seen my thinking face for he peered at me, "Does that change your opinion on them, little olive tree?"

I hesitated for a moment, "Does it make you feel big Thranduil?" I nearly snapped, "To play with the lives of other people, does it make you feel good about yourself?" Thranduil just blinked at me, "You do know that making other people feel small doesn't make you any bigger, right? You do know that making other people hurt doesn't make you any gratified, right?"

"Answer my question." He hissed.

"Answer mine." I glared at him, "There was no point bringing me here Thranduil, I cannot help you, even if I wanted to – which I don't. Yes, my loyalty still lies with them, and no, your words hasn't changed my opinion on them. Maybe there is something you can learn from them, Thranduil, if you _force_ people to be loyal to you, they never will be." I held my gaze with him, right up until he turned away.

"Take the girl back to her cell!" He called over his shoulder as he headed back to lounge on his throne.

Within moments Legolas came marching back in, he took hold of my arm (gently) and pulled me out of the throne room.

Did I just rinse a king?

"What did he say to you?" Legolas asked in a low voice.

"To be completely honest, I can't remember anything of what just happened." I replied, astonished at myself. I'm just full of surprised recently, aren't I?

Who am I anymore?

Legolas led me back to my cell, leaving me with a simple 'Goodnight' before leaving.

"What happened, lass?" Dwalin asked, standing up against his cell. From far down to his left I had seen Fili doing the same, holding onto the bars with white knuckles.

"I can't remember." I rubbed my forehead, "I really can't."

"Did he hurt you?"

"Nope…"

"You really can't remember?" Fili asked.

I couldn't see Fili, but his voice was strained. And I ignored him, just his presence angered me.

I didn't need the extra strain Fili brought me right now. I didn't need that sort of baggage. I couldn't bare the sight of him, and it annoyed me that he was now showing concern towards me. Pfft, please. Spare me.

"Good night, Dwalin."

With that, I headed towards the back of my cell (not that it was very big) and settled into the negligible pile of blankets that lay there.

Despite the discomfort I managed to drift into a relatively deep sleep.

.

.

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When I woke up it was to the sound of hushed whispers. Slowly and silently, I picked myself up from my blankets and crawled towards the door of my cell.

It was nearly completely pitch black, and obviously in the dead of night. So why were there voices?

Finally, my gaze landed on Tauriel. She was sat outside Kili's cell on one of the stone steps, Kili was pressed right up against the bars, completely engrossed in talking to her and gazing up at her with admiration filled eyes.

I couldn't hear what they were saying exactly, but I didn't need to hear them to work out they were undoubtedly _flirting_. Well, Kili was anyway. The way he kept looking up at her through his eyelashes and _giggling_. Yes, giggling. In a manly way though, kind of.

It wasn't long later that Tauriel finally said her goodbyes, and she left Kili smiling in her wake.

"Cherps, cherps."

Kili glanced around, obviously trying to work out where exactly the sound was coming from. His brow was knitted together in a frown and he was visibly confused.

"Cherps, cherps," I called out quietly again, being careful not to wake any other member of the company. I wasn't stupid, I'd already been colourfully informed about the relationship between Elves and Dwarves. And no doubt Kili would receive a bollocking if Thorin found out about him fraternising – _let alone flirting_ – with a she-Elf.

I settled down at the door of my cell, poking my legs out between the bars and resting my head on the metal.

Kili's eyes finally found me, and instantly his expression hardened.

"What are you-"

"Cherps, cherps."

"What?"

"Cherps, cherps."

"What is a cherps? Why are you cherpsing?"

"More like 'who are _you_ cherpsing?'" I replied with a wink.

"What's cherpsing?" He asked with a worried frown.

"_Flirting_," I whispered, sending him another wink.

"I wasn't flirting," He hissed lowly, scowling at me after glancing round at the other cells.

"Relax, Kils. I won't tell anyone."

"Y-you won't?"

I shrugged, "No? I don't care."

"You don't?"

I frowned at him, "No?"

Kili sighed, his shoulders relaxing, "Thorin would kill me," He admitted.

"Your family is turning very multicultural, isn't it?" I jested.

Kili, however, didn't find my comment funny and he just let out a sarcastic snort, "Exactly."

"That's not a bad thing. Make love not war, that's what I say. And besides, I like Tauriel. She's really nice."

"You've spoken to her?"

"Of course," I shifted into a more comfortable position, "I spent time with her and Legolas before you muppets arrived."

"Legolas? The blonde one? Thranduils son?"

I smiled, "Yeah. I have friends in high places. I have contacts now," I teased, winking at him again. When he didn't respond, however, I continued, "Some Elves are alright, others can be a bit bitter… But hey, that happens in all races."

"I suppose so…"

"Go for it, Kili. With her."

"But she's an Elf," He lowered his voice again, sending another nervous glance towards the other cells, "_An Elf_."

"Don't be racist, Kili."

"I'm not being—"

"You're being _totally_ racist. How would you like it if someone judged you just because of the _colour of your skin_ for instance?"

Kili looked confused, "That's ridiculous. Why would one person be any different from another just because their skin is a different shade?"

"Exactly. Why would one person be any different from another just because they have pointy ears and live forever?"

"And they're tall…" He muttered.

I scoffed, "No, Kili, you're just short. Don't be prejudiced, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. We're all the same."

He let out another sigh and simply wished me goodnight after that before retreating back into his cell.

I stayed where I was, no longer tired and far too preoccupied with my thoughts to sleep.

From where I was sitting I could see Fili's cell next to Kili's. He wasn't on his bed either. He was asleep though, but sitting with his back against the cell wall and facing my direction with his head drooped.

It was then I noticed something twinkling in his lap. It was hard to see without my glasses but it was small and silver.

It didn't take me long to work out that he was holding onto the bead he'd once given me, his thumb gently rubbing it.

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Okaaaaaay, not much Fili in this chapter!

But I think there will be more of him in the next one, she's still super angry at him.

I hope you guys liked the chapter, your reviews have been so kind! You're all so lovely!

And for all those who kindly asked what tattoo I was getting it was a revamp of a forget-me-not and cherry blossoms flower tattoo on my wrist, it's so lovely! :D

Thank you watergoddesskasey for the advice! I spoke to him throughout and it totally helped! Plus he was super cute, which always makes it easier ;)

Please let me know what you think of the chapter guys!

And thank you so much to all those who have already reviewed, followed and favourited!

Thank you once again Sketchninja7 for the wonderful fanart! I love it!

I love you all! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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